Jul 31, 2012

Finance Tip

budget_piggy

Talk with your significant other about money.  I know, it may seem awkward and stressful, but the more you can talk about money with him/her, the easier it becomes!  I believe the more open you are about money, the more you can truly become partners when working on your personal and financial goals. Since money can be a very overwhelming topic, try to start by learning about each other’s financial history. Here are a few questions to start with:

  • What are your earliest money memories?
  • What did your parents teach you about money?
  • How have these things shaped the way you view money today?

The answers to these questions help shape how we make decisions, so by understanding where your significant other comes from financially, you can learn how to communicate more effectively with one another.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. This post was contributed by Brittney Castro, CFP® professional and creator of www.FinanciallyWiseWomen.com.   Brittney Castro is not affiliated with TheEveryGirl.com. Brittney A. Castro is a registered representative with and securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC. California Insurance License #0F3389.

illustration by Grace Niu

  • http://twitter.com/catfishcaviar Drew Elizabeth

    I 110% agree with this advice. My boyfriend and I always discuss our finance goals & where to spend money each month. I grew up never being taught how to budget or manage my money and now I am stuck with trial and error-figuring it all out on my own. My boyfriend is an amazing budgeter so I am learning off of him! Great to be on the same page and understand where each other come from on the money end!

    • http://twitter.com/Brittneycastro Brittney Castro,CFP®

      @twitter-111958017:disqus I agree.  When you can talk about money within your relationship it tends to make everything else easier to talk about.  Mindful communication is also really important when it comes to money.  Being in the moment and just listening to your significant as he/she talks about money and their dreams and concerns is so empowering for this relationship.  Make all money talks in the “green zone,”  Meaning no judgement can happen.  Just pure listening.

  • http://missfearlesslystrong.blogspot.com/ Miss Rachel M.

    One of my earliest money memories, was saving loose change that my parents would give me or I would find around the house into a jar. Back in the days you would have to roll the coins into the bank provided paper and have the bank pay you out for what you’ve collected. Well, one Saturday before my trip to Florida, my mom helped me wrapped them and took me to the bank so that I could see how much I saved and use it for the upcoming trip. Think its time to go back to the beginning… ::drops quarter into old coffee container::

  • http://twitter.com/livloveblog livloveblog

    YES – important conversations to have! Money troubles are the #1 reason couples break up so talk early & often! Before my BF moved in, we sat down, shared our salaries, debt, monthly expenses, how much we had & where we kept it. Moving forward it’s all important information to have about each other.

  • http://www.shesdomestic.com/ Heather

    My husband thinks he’s good at managing his money but always has some sort of credit card balance while I pay my bills in full every month.  In my eyes, “if you don’t have the money in the bank, you can’t afford it” so I never understood how he didn’t have anxiety about having a balance.  One day I showed him the excel chart that I use to keep track of my spending and bills.  He was pretty impressed and starting doing something similar.  Since I manage our money and pay our bills, we worked out an amount that each of us would contribute towards our savings each month.  I find that he works well with set goals like that.  By treating the monthly savings contribution as a bill and putting aside that money before you can spend it, it forces us to save money.  You have to find out how your partner operates to see what will work to help achieve both of your financial goals.  
    Another key thing to do when you have a financial conversation with someone (a roommate, a spouse, a boyfriend/girlfriend, etc) is to never say “YOU don’t save… YOU are bad with money, etc”.  Using “I” and “We” are very powerful words.  It’s better to say “This is how I handle my money and bills each month.  Would something similar be helpful to you?  I can help you get started.” and “If WE want to buy a house together (or get married or whatever you goal is), WE need to figure out a plan to save.”  Include the person in the conversation instead of attacking them if they’re bad with money.

  • http://talesandtrenchs.wordpress.com/ Cassie

    My boyfriend has always joked that when he dies they’ll just roll him out of his office as he’ll never retire, and I just found out yesterday that he doesn’t contribute to retirement savings at all. This is going to be the start of I’d imagine quite a few money discussions. Good suggested questions.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brittney.castro Brittney Castro

    Love all the stories ladies.  Thank you for sharing.  Keep up the money talks :)

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