Jul 9, 2012

The Everygirl Book Club: Wife 22 // week one

theeverygirl_bookclub

We are so excited that the Random House Reader’s Circle for The Everygirl is officially one week underway! Over 90 of you have said you will be joining us in reading Melanie Gideon’s Wife 22, and we couldn’t be more thrilled to have all of you on board!

We’ve posited some questions below, but feel free to throw your own thoughts, questions, and opinions out there. And remember that our commenting programming allows you to reply directly to one another’s comments and get e-mail alerts when new comments are posted, allowing everyone to engage in conversation. That way time zone and location is not a concern, and the conversation can continue all week!

*Please note: if you read ahead, be sure not to address anything that happens after page 96. We are so happy many of you already finished the book, but we don’t want to spoil anything!

Discussion Questions:
How did you feel when William told Alice at the party that she had a “smaller life?” (p 11).

What do you think is the significance behind Alice’s age in correlation with her mother’s death? How do you think this will affect Alice’s character?

What are your initial reactions to Alice’s participation in the relationship survey? Would you participate if offered the chance?

Do you connect with Alice’s answers to the survey questions? Are there any that made you laugh out loud, made you feel sad, or made you feel like you could relate?

Do you think Alice crossed any lines by calling Kelly behind William’s back or by watching the video? What would you have done had you been in her position? How would you react if you found out your significant other shared such intimate, personal information with a group of strangers (and co-workers)?

Researcher 101 and Wife 22 (Alice) e-mail back and forth a lot. How do you think this communication will develop throughout the book? Have you paid attention to the time stamps/dates/subject lines of the e-mails? What do you think it means when they sometimes respond to each other right away – almost as a chat – versus the delayed responses?

What are your reactions after reading the first 96 pages of the book?

Week 2 Assignment:
Read up to page 195 for next week’s discussion! Come back on Monday, July 16 where we’ll post questions and discuss.

Join Us at the End of the Month:
The last week of July we’ll host a formal book club webcast meeting! The live chat conference will include a video feed with the author, Melanie Gideon, Everygirl editors, and a Random House representative, as well as live video questions from readers!

It’s not too late to join in! Grab a copy of Wife 22 and join us next week as we continue discussing the book!

  • http://missfearlesslystrong.blogspot.com/ Miss Rachel M.

    Joining in late but planning on doing some serious reading tonight to catch up :)

  • http://www.ingoodfaithblog.com/ Mrs Type A

    Enjoying the book a lot so far!  Here are some of my thoughts:

    I think Alice definitely crossed a line when she emailed Kelly behind William’s back.  Not only was it unprofessional, it made me feel like she was treating her husband like her son.  I can understand her frustration with William for not explaining himself and communicating with her about what was going on at work, but this just seemed very inappropriate to me.

    The backstory about Alice losing her mother and reaching her “tipping point” year is particularly interesting to me.  My mom died 3 years ago and I can understand the weird and unexpected ways grief can manifest itself as time goes on.  I’ll be interested to see how the existence of her turning 45 will affect her actions as the book goes on. 

    I like reading her answers to the survey and trying to guess what the question was.  Very interesting writing technique!

    • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

      Agreed! There was definitely a line of trust that was crossed…Although, she was at her wits end! Sorry about your loss. I think this factor in the plot will be really relatable to you and maybe even give a different outlook on some things! Be sure to come back next week, can’t wait to see what you think about the next part!

  • colettej222

    Love the book- funny, sad, thought-provoking!  As a 38-yr-old mother of two, I (sadly) identify strongly with Alice.  The drudgery of daily life, the change in a marriagebecoming more like roommates, the ‘small’ life.

    I don’t think Alice should have called Kelly to get William’s job back, but upon finding out the true circumstances behind his demotion I think she was right to ask to see the video.  What William does affects the entire family.  Not just monetarily, but emotionally.  I would have done the same thing.

    Has anyone in real life gone behind their husband’s back? 

    • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

      I hope ladies read the question you posed “Has anyone in real life gone behind their husband’s back?” because it would be really interesting to see what everyone has to say!

    • http://twitter.com/CaitPBrown Caitlin Brown

      Completely agree with you, Colette. I’m only 22, unmarried, and have no children, but I still find Alice to be so relatable. I think in our own ways we face these same feelings in our lives and relationships at different phases throughout our lives.

      Like I said, I don’t have a husband, but I’ve definitely done my research about things without my significant other knowing about it. It can be easy to justify at times, though I’m not sure if it’s ever “right.” In the end though, I can understand why Alice would do so, because as you said, his actions affect the entire family. 

  • Nora O’malley

    My intial reaction to Alice’s participation in the relationship survey was that it would bring a lot of emotions to the surface. Researcher 101 said that it would happen. I think I probably would have participated in the survey. It is an interesting concept.
    I do feel Alice crossed the line when she called Kelly. But I understand that she was very frustrated and getting nowhere with William. Sometimes when people won’t be honest you go to extremes to find out what is going on. Once she received the video I knew nothing good was going to come out of it. I may have called Kelly if I was in Alice’s position but I’m not sure I would have pushed so hard for the video. I maybe would have went to William and asked what the video was about. If I found out that my husband share that kind of information with his co-workers I would have been furious.
    Researcher 101 and Alice seem to be developing a deep friendship. I think it may turn into something more. When they do respond to each other so quickly you can tell they care what each other is thinking.

    • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

      Norma, soo true- “Sometimes when people won’t be honest you go to extremes to find out what is going on” … Although it made me feel uncomfortable to see her do something so sneaky, I can’t say that I wouldn’t do the same if I was in her position…

    • http://twitter.com/CaitPBrown Caitlin Brown

      Exactly. I think we’ve all had those moments when our gut reactions take over our whole mind and we do things we wouldn’t normally expect ourselves to. 

      I’ve found the development of Research 101 and Alice’s relationship so interesting. Initially, I had no thoughts that it could turn into something more, I assumed Research 101 would just be the catalyst to getting Alice to think deeper about her marriage, but the further along I read, the more I begin to think there is more to the story. 

    • Vivian

      I think that Alice’s choice to press so hard for the video also has to do with the way in which Gideon has shaped the character up until this point.  That is to say, a major theme of exploration of this book seems to be the effect of growing internet/social media habits on relationships.  In the case of Alice, we are led to believe that she is pretty habitual with checking her facebook and also quick to turn to the internet to consult her problems.  I mean, we are first introduced to her character via her google searches.  I think, as a result, Alice seems to be pretty impatient with her relationships with others, perhaps due to both a sense that her own life is unfulfilling and that the internet affords her an immediacy and an ability to pry into the lives of others that real life doesn’t.  Whenever she senses a problem occurring in the lives of her kids and husband, she cannot seem to handle either their aloofness/unwillingness to discuss said issue or the fact that she doesn’t even know much about the problem.  I think it speaks to her desire for some control.  She turns to google searches or in this case, calling Kelly, as if she wants to be the one with the wherewithal to get to the bottom of these issues that do not necessarily even concern her.

  • http://twitter.com/DreamGreenDIY Carrie Waller

    How did you feel when William told Alice at the party that she had a “smaller life?” (p 11): I felt pretty defensive. Obviously there’s some kind of inherent insecurity behind his words. In my opinion, no ones life is “smaller” than another – We all have jobs to do, whether that’s in an office, at home or at school. We all have purpose. For him to say that was pretty low.
    What do you think is the significance behind Alice’s age in correlation with her mother’s death? How do you think this will affect Alice’s character?: I can’t even imagine how surreal that must feel…I think it would be a huge struggle that I’m interested to see how she tackles. As far as her character goes, I feel like it’s going to leave her feeling a little off kilter, maybe making her choices and decisions a little less solid. It’s hard to explain why I feel that way, but, having my mom still around, I imagine that I would feel pretty lost without her, especially if I were to surpass her oldest age. The best way I can describe it is “uncharted territory.”
    What are your initial reactions to Alice’s participation in the relationship survey? Would you participate if offered the chance?: I think she just wanted to talk to someone, although I don’t think she knew quite what she was getting into when she signed up for it. I think I probably would have done it too, but it would be out of boredom more so than getting anything concrete out of it emotionally.
    Do you connect with Alice’s answers to the survey questions? Are there any that made you laugh out loud, made you feel sad, or made you feel like you could relate?: I definitely connect, but not in the sense that I can necessarily relate. I just got married two months ago, so I’m not able to really understand what marriage is like that many years in. But I feel like we as the reader get to know Alice best through her answers to the survey. You can really tell that she’s a screenwriter through her answers – She sets the scene, uses pointed dialogue, etc. You can see and feel everything in her answers. They are my favorite part of the book so far. 
    Do you think Alice crossed any lines by calling Kelly behind William’s back or by watching the video? What would you have done had you been in her position? How would you react if you found out your significant other shared such intimate, personal information with a group of strangers (and co-workers)?: I don’t think calling Kelly behind William’s back was crossing the line – I think she was concerned and not getting answers from her spouse. I am a FULL believer that honesty is the best policy. I think, if given the chance, I would have watched the video, but I would have immediately confronted my spouse about it.
    Researcher 101 and Wife 22 (Alice) e-mail back and forth a lot. How do you think this communication will develop throughout the book? Have you paid attention to the time stamps/dates/subject lines of the e-mails? What do you think it means when they sometimes respond to each other right away – almost as a chat – versus the delayed responses?: I am definitely feeling some kind of connection between them…I’m concerned about it, but also feel like celebrating Alice’s triumph at connecting honestly and openly with another human being when she’s getting so many “closed doors” at home.
    What are your reactions after reading the first 96 pages of the book?: I can’t wait to keep reading!! This character is hard to relate to for me as a twenty-something, but only in the physical sense. MENTALLY I can feel and understand her pain and struggles, even if I haven’t gone through them myself. We are all insecure and crave company no matter how old we are. **Just an added point…I hate to ask for it, but I am reading the book via Kindle and can’t see the page number. Could you let me know which chapter to get through for next week’s weigh in?? THANK YOU! =)

    • diane @ a spot of whimsy

      “This character is hard to relate to for me as a twenty-something, but only in the physical sense. MENTALLY I can feel and understand her pain and struggles, even if I haven’t gone through them myself.”

      Yes, this! 

      • http://twitter.com/DreamGreenDIY Carrie Waller

        Glad you agree!!

        • Chloe

          I agree with you guys as well. I’m 22 so I keep finding myself trying to look at Alice’s situation from my mom’s perspective. Does anyone else think she’s really technologically savvy for her age? Or is my mom just more technologically challenged than most? Just another thing I keep finding myself thinking every so often!

      • http://twitter.com/CaitPBrown Caitlin Brown

        Yes!! Exactly. Could not agree more with you, Carrie and Diane! I’ve found her so relatable. 

    • Kendal Rogers

      I also need a chapter number – reading via iBooks.  Thanks!

      • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

        Will do for next week :)

    • Nora O’malley

      I agree Carrie. I have been married for less than a year so it is harder to relate to some parts. But its interesting to hear her perspective on marriage.

      • http://twitter.com/DreamGreenDIY Carrie Waller

        I’m interested to hear her perspective too – So far, I’m hoping my marriage doesn’t turn out like hers…But who KNOWS what’s to come in the book!!! We could all be totally surprised =)

    • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

      Thanks for your great insight and reactions to the book, Carrie! We also LOVE the survey answers. “This character is hard to relate to for me as a twenty-something, but only in the physical sense. MENTALLY I can feel and understand her pain and struggles, even if I haven’t gone through them myself. We are all insecure and crave company no matter how old we are.” As 20-something I can completely agree with this…
      So sorry, we will definitely start posting the chapters! Thanks for the heads-up!

      • http://twitter.com/DreamGreenDIY Carrie Waller

        Thanks for your feedback and I’m glad I’m not the only one who is getting this reaction to the book =) Can’t wait until next week’s discussion!!

    • Katelyn Denning

       Carrie – I was thinking the same thing when you said we will get to know Alice best through her survey answers.  Those are some of my favorite parts because I feel they are so honest.  And yes, you can definitely tell she used to be a playwright.  I have a feeling this year will bring lots of change for Alice and her family, but part of me hopes that one of the changes is that she rediscovers her lost love in writing!

      • http://twitter.com/DreamGreenDIY Carrie Waller

        I hope so too!! =)

  • diane @ a spot of whimsy

    The “small life” comment is what grabbed me and drew me into this book.  I was shocked by it, embarrassed for Alice, and angry at him, instantaneously.  I have a feeling it will drive a lot of the potential fall-out with her husband as the novel progresses.  There’s a lot to be unpacked there.

    It was a really fascinating choice by Melanie to only show us the answers and not the questions themselves.  Such a clever (and not to mention effective) way to engross the reader. 

    I can’t imagine going behind my (future) husband’s back and calling Kelly and watching the video as she does, but I almost think that’s the point – her 20-something self wouldn’t have been able to imagine that her 40-something self would do such a thing either.  She doesn’t know how she got to this point but she’s finally asking herself that “how?”  The answer is not going to be easy or pleasant, but she also knows her current situation is unsustainable. 

    The Researcher 101/Wife 22 relationship is already making me nervous. I am first surprised by how much Researcher 101 shares back – that doesn’t seem clinically correct, like it’s tainting the research, but perhaps they are instructed to do so in order to gain trust from their subject - I think that will be explored further as we get deeper in.  But it’s also making me nervous that sure, it’s great that Alice is opening up to *someone* about the problems in her marriage and within herself, but this anonymous relationship (and the fact that she likes having this “secret”) is keeping her from addressing these things with the people she should.  I think (hope) that she will eventually realize this as well.

    Really enjoying Wife 22 so far – kudos again to The Everygirl for launching this cyber book club!
    xo   

    • http://www.farandfaraway.com/ Megan Leader

      I agree that it was a very interesting choice to leave out the survey questions. I really enjoy that aspect in that you only see Alice’s reactions as either stream-of-consciousness or by her giving us a scene from her life, and we don’t necessarily know what prompted her to formulate those words.

    • Mary Pruitt

       I agree…I’m getting nervous by the 101/22 relationship as well.

    • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

      Your insight into Wife 22 is really great! You seem to really connect with the book and know how to appreciate many aspects that can sometimes be overlooked!

      I agree with you, that Alice reached a point where she did things she would not have done earlier in her life. She is in somewhat of uncharted territory! I can’t imagine ever getting to that point and it did make me uncomfortable when she went behind his back!

      We are SO glad you’re loving the book club and Wife 22! Can’t wait to see what you think next week!

  • http://www.farandfaraway.com/ Megan

    I must admit I was pretty disturbed when William told Alice she had a smaller life (and how the couple doesn’t seem to communicate at all), mostly because I’m a newlywed and can’t imagine having Alice and William’s lack of communication, or loss of friendship, with my husband. When William says that Alice’s life is small, it feels like a slip in which William exposes his true feelings about her, that her life isn’t full, or that she isn’t accomplishing much.

    If I were Alice, I would have jumped at the chance to participate in the survey. It’s healthy, if difficult, to examine your life and your partnership with your husband, and to try and understand why you feel the way you do. I would participate in something like this in real life, but I don’t know that I would keep it a secret.

    I am a little worried about Alice’s relationship to the researcher… that she will become attached, or that it will evolve into something of an emotional affair, especially because she and William appear to grow farther and farther apart.

    I haven’t been paying attention to the timestamps, though! I’ll definitely start giving them more thought as I continue through the book. Overall, it’s completely fascinating and I can’t put it down!

    • diane @ a spot of whimsy

      exactly, he tries to brush off the “small life” comment, but i think its a slip in the careful facade he has created for his relationship with Alice.

    • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

      There are definitely many different meanings behind “smaller life” that us as readers aim to figure out. I think your opinions about what it meant are pretty dead on! 
      I agree that I’d do the survey too but I would not keep it a secret..

      So glad you love the book! Catch you next week :)

  • Mary Pruitt

    Overall, I find Alice to be an engaging character and easy to identify with. I found the scene where she was trying to decide what to wear to the launch and then feeling uncomfortable something I could totally relate to. The glimpse into their courtship is a strength of the book, and it’s fun to read through emails and facebook posts.

    I have not noticed the time stamps on the emails…I’ll have to pay more attention.  The distraction from reality via facebook and social media is very interesting and you can see it coming out in their marriage.  The researcher relationship makes me uncomfortable, as well as the fact that they are engaging with the online world rather than with each other.

    I’m not married, but I have to admit, the slip from being totally drawn to each other to just being more like roommates is pretty scary to me.  

    • http://marymeweddings.blogspot.com Mary

      Agreed! The obsession many of us have with social media is highlighted in this book, and has since helped me keep my phone and computer usage in check. The glimpse into their courtship is a strength of the book…do you like how Melanie uses the survery to just answer questions rather than stating the question and the answer? Does this technique engage you?

    • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

      Love that you’ve mentioned the connect between social media and disconnect with real life. This book highlights something that I’ve always been careful to not let happen in my own life. Stop checking Facebook and LIVE! Easier said than done, right? :)

      • Mrs Type A

        Agree!  Being too addicted to your iphone/computer is a pet peeve of mine.  My husband actually said he promised he wouldn’t use his iphone during our dates in our wedding vows! :) It’s not enough to be around each other– you have to be PRESENT!

      • Jessica

        Agree!! I think this is an ongoing problem in our society today and the novel perfectly demonstrates it!

  • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

    dad

  • ShoeAxis

    I actually finished the book so I won’t spoil anything. I relate to Alice,since I myself am in my mid-forties…so many responsibilities and expectations, dealing with your own life changes physically and emotionally, and on top of it trying to feel any passion towards your husband.

    • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

      Hope you liked it as much as we did! can’t wait to continue reading your insight each week!

  • Jessica

    Hi! This is not week one discussion related (I’m still playing catch up! haha), but I’m wondering if you ladies could post the the chapters as well as the page number assignments. I am reading on a Kindle and the page numbers are different. That would be really helpful!! Thanks for much for starting this up!! -J

    • http://theeverygirl.com/ The Everygirl

      Yes!! So sorry, we’ve had a few people tell us! We will have the chapters up for next week!

      • http://twitter.com/vanessa_conway Vanessa Conway

        Yay! Then I can follow along with the audio version :)

        • Katelyn Denning

           I’m listening as well and I love it!  Normally I like to hold a book in my hands, but the narrator in this version is amazing.  Definitely great as an audio book.

  • http://twitter.com/PattyOnMoney Patty Grabiec

    How did you feel when William told Alice at the party that she had a “smaller life?” (p 11).How did you feel when William told Alice at the party that she had a “smaller life?” (p 11).

    Personally, I found it to be an insulting blow. I think that in a marriage, the couple should respect one another and their lifestyles. Does he think less of her because she has a different career path? He knew this when they got married, so it’s not like it came as a surprise. 

    What do you think is the significance behind Alice’s age in correlation with her mother’s death? How do you think this will affect Alice’s character?

    Well, it shows already that she’s concerned about this. However, I don’t know if I could relate. My grandmother died at the age of 26 from a heart condition. I happen to have this same heart condition, but being 22, I’d say it’s too early for me to know if I will have a concern being 26, or nearing it.

    What are your initial reactions to Alice’s participation in the relationship survey? Would you participate if offered the chance?

    I absolutely would have participated. It seems like a lot of fun, and I’m sure she’ll end up learning a lot about herself. It gives her an opportunity to admit to things she’s never thought about before.

    Do you connect with Alice’s answers to the survey questions? Are there any that made you laugh out loud, made you feel sad, or made you feel like you could relate?

    I loved the answer to number 7 (also on the back of the book). As far as the rest of them go, I love trying to guess what the question was. I don’t recall relating to any of them, or laughing out loud.

    Do you think Alice crossed any lines by calling Kelly behind William’s back or by watching the video? What would you have done had you been in her position? How would you react if you found out your significant other shared such intimate, personal information with a group of strangers (and co-workers)?

    I do think she crossed some lines by calling Kelly, especially since begging on behalf of your husband might cause problems for him. It never would have crossed my mind to do that. I usually offer my advice (even when it’s not asked for) but that’s as far as I go. I have no problems with my significant other sharing intimate, personal information with a group of strangers or co-workers, except when it’s negative information. I also put a lot of value on communication, so I would be very angry that this was the first time I was hearing about such an intimate problem.

    Researcher 101 and Wife 22 (Alice) e-mail back and forth a lot. How do you think this communication will develop throughout the book? Have you paid attention to the time stamps/dates/subject lines of the e-mails? What do you think it means when they sometimes respond to each other right away – almost as a chat – versus the delayed responses?

    I am horrible at paying attention to names and dates, so I didn’t notice the time stamps. However, I did pick up on the vibe of the short emails. They deffinately make it feel like a conversation/chat. I think people build relationships much faster when they wait for each others’ responses and emails right away. When my boyfriend and I first met, we started talking through facebook. At first our conversations were short and shallow (small talk) and it quickly progressed to longggggg responses that took half an hour to write…and half an hour of anxious waiting to hear what the other person was going to say. I think it built the foundation to our relationship, and I often look back on those messages (I have them all saved in a Word document). Emails/messages have become the modern day love letter.

  • Karissa

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels a little squeamish about the evolving Wife 22/Researcher 101 relationship!  A few alarms went off in my head as I started noticing the speed of their responses and the subject of their conversations (especially when Researcher 101 admitted to Alice that he was her age).  I don’t fault Alice for reaching out for that closeness, though; that non-judgmental intimacy seems to be something she’s lacking in her life– of course she’s going to embrace an opportunity to share with someone.  I’m crossing my fingers that it doesn’t get out of hand, though.  I’m hopeful that as she continues recalling the bright moments in her relationship with her husband she starts reaching out to him a bit more.  What if she becomes too emotionally dependent on Researcher 101, though?  Losing that relationship could be crushing for her if she’s not careful.  

    I wanted to mention that I find reading about Alice’s motherhood-related challenges interesting and entertaining. Her worries about her son’s sexuality and her daughter’s eating disorder are pretty serious issues– but she presents them in a way that often has me laughing out loud.  I wonder how her relationships/struggles with her children have impacted her relationship with William over the years?

    • Melanie Stone

      totally agree — research 101 seems to be a danger zone!!!! (and yes – i also love the way she makes serious stuff seem light)

    • Jessica

      Karissa…I’m totally squeamish about the relationship! It’s almost like he’s feeling a hole that is being left empty by William.  He better watch out!

      I am not a mother, but I love reading her thoughts about how her children are evolving and turning into little adults. It makes me laugh!

  • http://twitter.com/devonashbridge Devon A.

    I really enjoy the book even though I don’t relate as closely to Alice as a twenty-something single girl. 

    I wonder how much of Alice’s persistence in identifying problems or issues with her children relates to William’s small life comment. I can’t help but think maybe she’s hoping to uncover an eating disorder or force her maybe-not-gay son out of the closet so that she can swoop in and fix everything like Super Mom. I’m very interested to see if these problems are all in her head or if they really do exist.

    What scares me the most is that the gap in communication seems so plausible. I would never want to find out important things about or from my (future) husband through Facebook, but it seems to become more acceptable as time goes on. 

    Can’t wait to get started on the next 100 pages!

  • http://twitter.com/CaitPBrown Caitlin Brown

    Yes, Megan! Something about being able to just see her direct thoughts makes the survey answers much more powerful to read. While some of them can be interpreted in many directions (and I find myself sitting for a moment trying to decipher what the survey question could be) I also think that just reading the answers alone brings to light out how relatable many of her feelings about her relationship are, because we understand most them without even knowing the question.

  • http://twitter.com/CaitPBrown Caitlin Brown

    as much as I’d like to say that I would do the survey but tell my husband…I’m not sure I would. I think Alice is dealing with so much internally that she’s not even sure how she’d explain the survey to him. I’ve definitely been in the position before where I’ve needed to confront something in my relationship, but I’m just not sure where to start, so I deal with it myself first before bringing it to the other person. Who knows if that’s the right way to handle it, but I can understand why she keeps it to herself.

    • Jessica

      Hi Caitlin, I agree with you on this. As much as we want to tell our husband’s everything…in this type of situation, I could see where it would be easier just to keep it a secret. It’s a tough one!

  • http://livingmylifeasiknowit.wordpress.com/ Christina Tamm

    I was a bit upset with William when he said that Alice had a
    “smaller life.” If I were Alice I would be really upset and fill belittled. I
    wouldn’t have been able to just sweep it under the table like Alice did. I
    would have freaked out on the car ride home about it.

     

    I think the correlation with her mother’s death and her age
    is scary for her. To know that your mom only lived to the age you are now makes
    you think about if you’re going to live as long, if you have experienced
    everything you want to etc.

     

    Brave. Scary, Divulging are the first 3 words that come to
    mind when I think about Alice participating in the survey.  It’s a brave thing to do, scary because a
    stranger and many others may learn so much about you and divulging because she
    is sharing so much about her personal life. 
    I don’t know if I would participate in something like this. If I did I
    wouldn’t be able to keep it from the Mister.

     

    I can’t say I connect. I wish I knew what the questions were
    then maybe I could say I connect. A few of the answers make me laugh out loud,
    want to cry and sometimes make me hope for the best for her. I guess I image
    what the questions are based off of her answers and then from there I form my
    opinions of her answers.

     

    I feel that Alice is coming very comfortable with Researcher
    101 and feel she is forming a relationship with her that is going to cause her
    to have feelings for him. She seems very found of him so fare and likes the
    responses to her questions and I feel emails him more than the average survey
    taker actually does.

     

    I am hooked on the book and don’t want to put it down.  I’ll most likely finish it before we are
    supposed to. 

  • Melanie Stone

    OKAY i am hooked so far. alice is absolutely hilarious, in an i-don’t-know-i’m-funny type of way. 
    anyways, as much as i think william is in the wrong a lot of the time, alice certainly is too. she’s SO distant from him, and obsessed with e-mail/facebook/the internet. at this point, i see many flaws in the relationship, but both william and alice are to blame. 
    loving the book though. it’s such a quick read and like i said, it’s so entertaining!!!

  • http://www.prettyhautemess.com/ Cori Magee

    I missed the discussion yesterday, but really enjoyed reading some of the comments below! I’m loving the book! Hope I have more time to participate next week…

  • http://livingmylifeasiknowit.wordpress.com/ Christina Tamm

    Can someone tell me what chapter we are reading up to for Week 2. I’m reading on a Kindle so page numbers don’t work for me. Thank you in advance. 

  • Jessica

    Hi Everyone! I’m finally caught up….and, to be honest, I love it so much I’m halfway through now. haha! I promise I won’t reveal any spoilers for all of you. :)

    I found William’s comment about Alice’s “smaller life” to be really interesting…and hurtful. I think it was really telling about the distance in their marriage. He is obviously not appreciating all of the work and energy she is putting into her career as a drama teacher and her two children.  I can see where she would be upset.

    I can understand why Alice would want to participate in the relationship survey. It would be a really interesting way to gain an outside perspective on the relationship. However, I would have asked my husband if I could participate first…but I see why she didn’t ask William, especially since their relationship is less intimate and close as it used to be.

    I find Alice’s character to be REALLY relatable. Her answers to the survey questions are probably similar to a lot of what real woman feel but never say….and I think that’s why this novel really hits home with us!

    I definitely think Alice crossed the line by calling Kelly Cho behind William’s back…i would be horrified if I husband did that to me! It’s obvious she was anxious and stressed about the sitaution, but it is never good to go “that” far to try to help your spouse. I would have just left it alone….it’s obvious it wasn’t meant to be and something had gone wrong.

    The relationship between Researcher 101 and Alice is really intriguing. She is providing a complete stranger with intensely intimate thoughts and opinions about her personal life.  I can see where this would be beneficial to the study…but the fact that Researcher 101 is responding in such a relateable and personal way could turn this exchange into a dangerous relationship. Alice needs to be careful because it seems she is attracted to the fact that someone, even an anonymous researcher, is listening to her and asking her these type of questions.
    LOVING IT SO FAR!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001012253257 Donna Benson

    This book has more than a few coincidences in it for me. I’ve been married for 30+ years; have a son Peter; am a retired drama teacher; and have many of the same thoughts that Alice has as well.
    I don’t think I could have/would have ever called my husband’s co-worker about his demotion…I agree with others that it’s a bit like being William’s mother rather than his wife.
    My girlfriends and I do share some sexual information which my husband would most likely not be happy about if he knew. That being said I think it’s totally different than blurting out the state of your marriage to complete strangers and while you are in a working atmosphere…interesting to see where this goes!
    I wasn’t paying attention to the timestamps (playing a wee bit of catch-up as I just got the book today) but I will now.
    I’m very interested in the researcher and what he’s about. I couldn’t agree more with the line:
    ” waiting is a dying art”
    Being in my 50′s and seeing many changes in my lifetime I feel as though social skills and the art of conversation may be something that will need to be taught to many of today’s generation (geesh; feel ancient writing that…)

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