Coffee Talk: You Know He’s Not The One, But…

Oct 22, 2012

Coffee Talk: You Know He’s Not The One, But…

Some relationships have expiration dates. Your twenties are the time to date around and sometimes those flings turn into boyfriends. Occasionally we find ourselves in long term partnerships that we know in our hearts will not end with the words “I Do.” On the other hand, some of those significant others still occupy a very special place in our lives, and saying goodbye just this second might not feel like the right decision. Tell us: when you’re in a serious relationship without a future, what do you do?

elizabeth fitzgerald

http://twitter.com/catfishcaviar Drew Elizabeth

I was in a relationship like this for 4 years previous. It was awful & I was so unhappy. I knew it wasn’t going anywhere but I stayed in it anyways because it was comfortable & I didn’t know anything else. Looking back & seeing other friends make the same mistake I would say “Get out now” the longer you stay the harder it is. If you don’t see a future with the person you are with but not doing anything about it you are missing out on time when you could meet someone amazing!!!

http://www.catfishandcaviar.com
renata

when he´s not the one…it´s complicated to accept it..when you do your free and you are a step closer to finding the real LOVE in your life..
that was my story.
Debra Norris

Once I realize I don’t feel the same, it’s like a switch that just shuts off and I have to get out. It may be selfish but I’d just end it. No matter their reaction or how much I hurt the other person I move on. Looking back I felt like a such a horrible, selfish person but in the end I think there is no reason to keep going it makes it worse for you and the other party as well.

honestlydebra.blogspot.com
raq

I think its so unfair to stay in a committed relationship with someone that you know you won’t marry. You are honestly wasting both of your times together so why stay with someone when you are potentially missing out on meeting someone you DO want to marry.
http://littleshoeone.blogspot.com/ Heather Ann

I follow my gut. If I know he’s not “the one” we’re both better off moving on so we can find the person that is.
Kaia Lindsay Moore

It gets harder and harder to leave this type of relationship! I just ended one of these types of relationships only two weeks ago and in the time leading up to it, the only thing I felt in anticipation of the break-up was that it was selfish. But let’s be real – staying because HE’S all in will only make you a miserable girlfriend, wife, and mother as time goes on. It’s not fair to you, to him, or to your future family.
Guest

I think too many young women are preoccupied with finding ‘the one’. The idea of having a soul mate has never sat comfortably with me. I personally prefer to take each relationship as they come and not have an end goal in mind. Im currently in a committed realtionship with a great guy and we both know the relationship has an expiry date, we have even discussed it, but right now we are happy in each others company, so why not enjoy the now. Its about the journey, not the destination.

guest

I was so anxious pondering this question until I realized the exact same thing you did… My friends all told me that I should leave my boyfriend so that I can move on and find my soulmate, my one and only, but that isn’t my goal in life. I don’t start a relationship thinking that I’ll get married to them, I just want to be respected and enjoy my time with a special person – even if that time is short.

http://jostwrite.blogspot.com/ AdeOla @ JostWrite

It can be hard especially when he is a wonderful man, but you know you are both on different paths and pages in life. Hanging on can be worse than letting it go early…I know it was for me.
Mafennell

When I am in a serious relationship without a future, i get irritable. I know deep in my heart that he is not the one for me, but i still stay until i can t anymore. until the day i say goodbye, i prep myself with things to do. Once I breakup, its almost like i have been reborn in happiness. Usually, I know it is hopeless when I dream about break ups and I wake up refreshed. Why is it so hard to say good bye then?

KimberlyEvans

I just got out of a relationship sort of like this a few days ago. I was so unhappy with the relationship, with the fact that I was dragging this person along, with not being able to face my fear of breaking this person’s heart. I love this person so much and I inevitably had to hurt them so badly and now they don’t ever want to speak to me again. I feel terrible for breaking this person’s heart but I’m most sad because I want to keep them in my life and they don’t ever want to forgive me. I think it’s so hard to say goodbye because relationships you know won’t last are usually with somebody that you get along with as friends but dating doesn’t work. So you want their company and friendship but you’re unhappy dating them, and you know that once you break up they are out of your life completely. It’s just hard.

Danielle Danko

I just recently went through a break-up after being in a relationship for three years. Realizing the relationship has no future is possibly one of the worst feelings in the world, but this has freed us both up to do things our lives we couldn’t do together. While its a tough decision, its the right decision.
http://andreachavezdelgado.wordpress.com/ Andrea

Oh boy… how do I start. I was with my now “ex” for 7 almost 8 years! And now that I´m single I still can´t get over him and I ´m having a hard time coping with solitude. You see, one day I´m so sure he´s not the type of man I would like to marry, and then the other day I have second thoughts. I ´m so insecure because he´s a good guy, and his family has been so welcoming and generous with me, but at the end of the day I feel like he´s lacking on something. I think the only thing that could possibly get me out this insecurity -aside from the fact that It´s not pleasant to be alone- is to have faith that eventually, I will find “Mr. Right”.

After all, they say that true love is worth the wait…

andreachavezdelgado.wordpress.com