"Out of all the pressures placed on women, the pressure to have a “tight” vagina is, quite honestly, so annoying. Being “loose” has been deemed slutty, and having a tight vagina is apparently what all the hot, good-in-bed girls have. (I’d love to have a word with whoever decided this.) It’s an inaccurate assumption, to say the least. However, considering factors like childbirth, age, genetics, and hormonal changes can alter the vagina’s elasticity, I can’t lie and say that the thought of having a tighter vagina isn’t alluring. And if the rumors are to be believed, Kegels are the answer. But is it true? Do Kegels make you “tighter” down there? And how, if at all, would that affect sex anyway? Ahead, we’re answering these crucial questions with the help of Pelvic Floor Practitioner Kiana Reeves.
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Kiana Reeves
Kiana Reeves is a Somatic Sex Educator, AASECT Member, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Pelvic Health Practitioner, Certified Doula, and Foria’s Chief Education Officer and Resident Sex Expert with over 10 years’ experience in the field of wellness and female reproductive health. With a commitment to helping people feel more connected to their own bodies, especially as they age, Kiana harnesses her certifications and qualifications to help drive Foria’s content and brand education.
First of all—what is a kegel?
Also called pelvic floor muscle training, a kegel is a strengthening exercise that involves tightening and releasing the muscles in your pelvic floor. These muscles support the uterus, bladder, and rectum and together “play a crucial role in core stability, sexual health, and overall pelvic wellness.”
“Think of the pelvic floor as a trampoline—it needs to have a balance of strength, tension, suppleness, resilience, and flexibility to perform well,” Reeves said. “Kegels help by engaging the deeper layers of muscle that surround the urethra, vagina, and rectum, teaching them to contract and relax effectively.” With time and practice, Kegels ultimately improve the response and resiliency of these muscles, Reeves said.
So while most people associate kegels as an exercise that solely tightens the vagina, their health benefits go far beyond this. Reeves explained that kegels can potentially enhance sexual pleasure, stop urinary incontinence, and prevent pelvic floor dysfunction.
How do kegels affect sex?
Anyone who’s ever tried having sex when their body’s tense knows it’s practically impossible—not to mention painful. “When doing kegels, you’re concentrating on the difference between tensing your muscles and relaxing them,” she explained. So knowing how to release tension when it’s time to play can make sex less painful and make it easier to get aroused. Likewise, Reeves explains that kegels can help address muscle imbalances that might be causing painful intercourse.
Moreover, having a strong pelvic floor makes it easier for the vagina to self-lubricate, which we know can help relieve some pain associated with sex and lead to better orgasms. Reeves explained that this is because Kegels give us better control and flexibility of our pelvic floor muscles. Some women find that this makes it easier to have an internal orgasm or amplifies their orgasms as a whole. Similarly, Reeves also says that squeezing your pelvic floor muscles during sex can also create new, fun sensations for your partner as well.
Finally, the concentration and body and breath awareness that Kegels require “can help you get out of your head and into your body,” which can make it easier to relax and fully luxuriate in the experience, Reeves added. So basically, practicing Kegels helps create more satisfying sexual experiences—mentally and physically.
How to perform a kegel
“The best way to perform a kegel is to start by identifying the correct muscles,” Reeves told me. To do this, she recommends inserting a clean, lubricated finger into your vagina and squeezing. If you feel the walls of your vagina wrap around and squeeze your finger, congratulations—you’ve found your pelvic floor muscles! You can also try pretending that you’re stopping urine mid-flow—that tightening feeling is what you’re looking to achieve.
“Kegels help improve muscle tone and control, which can enhance sensation, sexual satisfaction, and even orgasms.”
After this, Reeves says to gently contract the muscles for three to five seconds before fully releasing them for another three to five seconds. “Take a deep inhale and relax your pelvic floor by gently pushing out, and on the exhale, squeeze the muscles,” Reeves said. She recommends starting with three sets of 10 repetitions per day. You can increase the number of repetitions and duration of the contractions over time, but be mindful not to enlist the help of surrounding muscles like your thighs, glutes, or abs. You want your pelvic floor muscles to be doing the work, not the surrounding muscles, as that can make the exercise less effective.
While you might be tempted to hit the ground running, Reeves says it’s possible to overdo it. “The pelvic floor muscles, like any muscle group, require balance,” she explained. “Overworking them can lead to excessive tension or even pelvic pain, which can negatively affect their function.” According to Reeves, pelvic floor discomfort, being unable or struggling to relax the muscles, and increased pelvic tension are all warning signs. If you experience any of these, try scaling back or consulting a pelvic floor specialist who can work with your body and its specific needs.
So, do kegels make you “tighter”?
When it comes down to it, being “tighter’ is an outdated and misleading concept for pelvic health. “Kegels help improve muscle tone and control, which can enhance sensation, sexual satisfaction, and even orgasms, but they don’t necessarily make the vagina itself feel tighter to a partner,” Reeves said. However, Reeves explained that having a well-toned pelvic floor can create a feeling of increased firmness and strength during sex.
So, although kegels won’t literally make you “tighter,” they do live up to the hype. Having a strong pelvic floor defends against incontinence, supports the pelvic organs, improves core stability, and enhances overall sexual health. So instead of stressing about the tightness of your vagina, focus on using kegels to improve your overall pelvic health for a more comfortable, enjoyable, and satisfying experience both inside and outside of the bedroom.
Arianna Reardon, Contributing Writer
Arianna is a Rhode Island native, professional blogger, and freelance writer. She’s passionate about helping women develop healthy relationships with money, become financially independent, and invest in themselves for the future. Arianna is a firm believer in going after what you want, taking time to stop and smell the roses, and the importance of a good cocktail.