"I’m going to share something I’ve never shared before. In 2016, I was 22 years old and voting in my second election ever. I didn’t have strong opinions then and wasn’t truly informed. I believed in equality and basic human rights and voted liberal in my first election. When Trump came onto the scene and became a real contender in 2016, well, that was my political awakening. Unfortunately, it wasn’t my boyfriend’s. While I was raging against the increasingly terrifying policies Trump touted at every rally and debate, my boyfriend barely paid attention. And when those Access Hollywood videos of Trump talking about assaulting women came out, my boyfriend shrugged it off, saying, “That’s just how guys talked.” Horrifying, right?
There were cracks in our relationship long before the 2016 election, but if I had been a little bit older and a little bit stronger, November 8, 2016 would have been the end of that relationship. Instead, I had an anxious attachment style and a lack of community outside of that relationship, so I stayed. Even though we broke up several months later, I’ve always regretted not leaving after our political differences surfaced. Because yes, holding the same values as your partner does matter and absolutely should be a deal breaker.
This might feel like old news. After all, it’s not 2016 anymore. In 2025, navigating political differences is as much a part of everyday life as trying to find something to watch on TV after work. But in the season eight finale of Love Is Blind, two couples failed to say “I do” at the altar, with both brides citing their partner’s values as their reason for breaking things off. Here’s why showing those conversations on TV is crucial amidst the current political climate.
You can’t “agree to disagree” when it comes to your core values
Virginia and Devin were a seemingly strong couple throughout the entire season, but chemistry can only take you so far. After the pods, the couple shared a very strained conversation about their political beliefs that led to a bubble-bursting revelation: Virginia is proudly liberal, while Devin votes conservatively.
There may have been a time (many, many election cycles ago) when couples on opposite sides of the aisle could make it work. But today? With women’s rights, LGBTQ+ rights, DEI initiatives, and so many other crucial issues on the line? Not a chance. Virginia put it eloquently herself on the Love Is Blind reunion episode. While Devin prefers not to share his values on TV, Virginia shared hers: “I 100% support the LGBTQ community. I also believe that women should have the decision to choose if they wanna have an abortion or not. I also believe that different religions should be valued.” This obviously paints a pretty clear picture of where Devin stands. For his part, he said, “I think that you can be together and have a relationship and not completely agree on everything.”
Here’s the problem: You cannot be in a relationship with someone whose core values directly oppose your own. There is simply far too much at stake not to align on these issues with someone you’re going to spend your entire life with. This isn’t a difference of opinion over fracking and gerrymandering; people’s rights and lives depend on these issues. Virginia’s hard line in the sand is a crucial reminder that it’s not possible to “agree to disagree” when it comes to certain issues.
Political apathy is irresponsible at best, and harmful at worst
In contrast to Virginia’s perfectly acceptable unwillingness to meet Devin in the middle, Sara’s issues with Ben stemmed from his complete lack of opinions. In the pods, Devin revealed that he didn’t vote in the 2020 election, saying, “I’ve kind of just been staying out of it.” Political burnout and taking a break for your mental health is entirely understandable, but that’s not what Ben’s statements reflect. Rather, Sara’s attempts at having deeper conversations about the major issues we face today (Black Lives Matter, religion, the vaccine) were met with apathy. In the pods, Ben also said that he was “kind of ignorant with that stuff.” Sara shared that she wasn’t even looking for a “right or wrong answer,” but Ben’s complete apathy toward these issues and unwillingness to discuss them made it impossible for her to go through with the marriage.
During the reunion, Ben shared that his political apathy stems from privilege. The problem is, you can’t hide your ignorance behind privilege in today’s political climate. If you’re not voting in elections and refusing to stay informed, you are acting irresponsibly and harming communities who are being threatened by this administration’s policies. Today, it’s important to think of voting as a responsibility rather than a right. Just because you aren’t directly benefitting from or being harmed by a policy, doesn’t mean everyone else is safe. We owe it to those communities to show up at the booth and protect them.
So, yes, you need to know how your romantic partners vote
The fact that I didn’t end my relationship over our opposing values in 2016 will never sit right with me. But it’s a mistake I learned from. Today, I trust my husband so much that he could submit my ballot for me (don’t worry, he doesn’t!). When it comes to your core values, don’t look the other way. If you’re dating, have the hard conversations up front. Throw your political stance on your dating profiles so you can weed out incompatible matches. Bring up politics during your first few dates. The sooner you talk about these things, the sooner you can identify whether you and your date are actually compatible. And if you’ve been with your partner for a while and haven’t yet brought up politics, follow Virginia and Sara’s footsteps and have those conversations now.
At the end of the day, disagreeing on politics isn’t nearly on the same level as having different love languages or conflict resolution styles. Political opinions are as fundamental to relationship compatibility as whether or not you see kids in your future. These values are essential to who you are as a person, and it’s not possible to build a relationship founded on mutual trust, respect, and love without aligning on them.
Garri Chaverst, Senior Managing Editor
As Senior Managing Editor of The Everygirl, Garri oversees the pitching, planning, and creation of all content. You might also find her name pop up as a contributor throughout the site, though she mostly works behind the scenes, leading the team in their creative efforts and ensuring they have everything they need to create top-quality content for our audience.