"Sharing a bed with your partner can either be a dream or a nightly game of survival of the fittest. Some nights, I might be blissfully asleep, and my partner is left dangling on the edge. On other nights, it might be a tug-of-war for blankets and mismatched sleep temperatures. Truthfully, my partner and I accepted this as our fate, assuming that nightly battles were just a part of co-sleeping normalcy.
Summer is officially here, and a hot new bombshell of a drink has entered our office: Espresso Lemonade.
It wasn’t until recently, when my partner and I were staying at a friend’s house, that I realized there is a sleep method that could solve all of our co-sleeping woes. And ever since I discovered it had a name, I’ve put the effects of it into full retrospective. In comparison to how we usually sleep, this sleep method—which is popular in parts of Europe—has been seriously impactful.
If sleeping side by side with your partner feels less about physical closeness and leans a bit more restless these days, there is another version of co-sleeping you should consider exploring: the Scandinavian sleep method. Read on and learn exactly what the Scandinavian sleep method is, what couples might prefer it, and how to try it yourself.
The Scandinavian sleep method, which is common in countries like Sweden, Norway, and Denmark, requires little lift, but offers big fixes in comparison. How does it work? Instead of sharing one big comforter, each person has their own on the same bed. Simply meaning: two duvets equals zero drama.
Each person chooses their own blanket weight, texture, and temperature, making it feel like you are sleeping in your own bed but still sleeping next to your person. Think of it similarly to eating out at a restaurant; you and your partner order your own entrees, but still share a table. You both get exactly what you want to eat and don’t feel like you need to sit in separate booths if you choose a different plate.
Who is this method for?
The Scandinavian sleep method is an ideal midpoint for those couples who don’t want a full sleep divorce but have wildly different sleep preferences. For example, if you’re a blanket hog who runs cold at night, this setup keeps your partner from waking up annoyed (or freezing). Basically, it’s a win-win for anyone who wants better sleep and a happier relationship.
For my partner and me personally, I sleep with a heavier comforter, and he uses a lighter one. It’s been particularly nice for us, given that he runs hot and I run cold. I get to wrap myself in a blanket burrito, and he can stay nice and cool all night long. Considering my partner’s love language is physical touch and we value our cuddles time, a full sleep divorce wouldn’t work for us, so this is a healthy compromise.
While this method can be effective in giving co-sleepers an option that keeps them in the same bed, that’s not to say the tossing and turning simply stops where the blankets do. There may be instances where co-sleeping issues (think: snoring) cannot be easily resolved by this method. Meaning other options, such as sleeping in separate beds, might be more beneficial.
Research suggests that co-sleeping can promote better sleep by helping the other person feel more secure and calm at night. But of course, that shouldn’t come at the cost of your ability to sleep soundly—and thanks to this method, it doesn’t have to. Sleeping with separate bedding encourages all of those better sleep habits that experts recommend, and also acts like an intermediary couples therapist at the same time. For example, if you or your partner values physical touch as your love language, this method allows you to sleep side by side without waking up full of resentment for the ways they hijacked the bedding.
They might run hot, you might run cold, but what’s great about the Scandinavian sleep method is that it allows you to prioritize your sleep preferences. Whether that be with a weighted blanket, a fluffy duvet, silky sheets, or a cozy quilt—it’s all up to you. If you have your own covers, you’re less likely to wake dripping in sweat or freezing with full-body goosebumps at 2 a.m. This method keeps things stress-free, so you can sleep more soundly with undisturbed REM cycles.
Start by putting on one single fitted sheet as you usually would. Then, instead of layering one top sheet and one blanket, you each get two. Or, if you want to go full Scandinavian, you can ditch the top sheet altogether and just opt for two blankets. It’s really as easy as that.
As someone with a lot of anxious tendencies—known for tossing and rolling like it’s a fire drill—I love opting for a denser comforter to keep me from moving around and disturbing my parnter. But if you are like my partner—who loves lighter, more breathable fabrics—try out soft linens or bamboo fabrics. After selecting your blanket preferences, you want to make sure they each cover about half the bed.
Yes, I know this might ruin your bedroom aesthetic, but that is the price of better sleep. Get a few decorative pillows and throws to help hide any bald spots, and you’re good to go! My partner and I use this method on a king, and I have found pillows can go a long way in still keeping things aesthetically coherent, while also keeping us comfortable (and less resentful) come bedtime.
Madigan Will, Assistant Editor
As an Assistant Editor for The Everygirl, Madigan writes and edits content for every topic under the digital media sun. As the oldest of four siblings, she enjoys utilizing her big sister persona to connect and inspire readers—helping them discover new ways to maximize their everyday.