Let’s face it: Most people don’t enjoy making small talk about what the weather is like today to “bond” with their coworkers. Put my name at the top of that list. Poor conversation topics gave small talk a bad rap, and then, circumstances beyond our control (ahem—a pandemic) shifted our work environments and opportunities to engage in lighter conversations.
Despite my distaste for surface-level conversations, I’ve gotten to know some of my best network contacts and closest friends through good old-fashioned small talk in the workplace. I’m fortunate to have built relationships rooted in shared interests that were only discoverable through moments of off-the-cuff banter.
With that in mind, an uptick in headlines about the decline in social skills in the workplace feels worrisome—not just for our social lives but for our careers. Apparently, we’re in a “social skills recession,” and not maintaining small talk as a social skill can have a significant impact on our futures. How? We’re getting into that ahead—plus, five ways to maintain your small talk soft skill.
Jaime Bronstein, LCSW
Jaime Bronstein is an LCSW, bestselling author of MANifesting, and was named the USA’s #1 Relationship Coach by Yahoo. She’s a resident expert at Dating.com, hosts the Love Talk Live podcast, and has been featured on NBC, ABC News, and Forbes.
What’s happening to small talk in the workplace?
The rise of hybrid and remote work following the pandemic offers flexibility for many, but at what cost? Some research suggests that the workplace environment shift may have sparked a “social skills recession”—a drastic decline in social skills, such as casual small talk, particularly among young people in the workplace.
For example, one poll revealed that 74 percent of employees struggle to make light conversation with coworkers in the kitchen or elevator. Related, in another study, one in four remote workers self-reported a decline in social skills after transitioning to fully remote work. Respondents also reported feeling self-conscious and anxious more frequently in social settings since working remotely, and rated “making small talk” the most challenging social activity.
While this doesn’t negate the benefits of remote and hybrid work, it does raise the question: How do we build and strengthen our social skills in the workplace in an ever-evolving environment without constant physical proximity? One microskill we can practice to build social skills: small talk.
Why small talk is so important for your career
Is small talk dead entirely? Quite the opposite. Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, and resident expert at Dating.com, said small talk is a strategic tool for employees to strengthen their interpersonal networks. It’s also a crucial way to establish trust, build connections, overcome barriers, and initiate informal communication that leads to better cooperation. In other words, small talk is likely to be a top soft skill in 2026 and beyond for the numerous benefits it provides.
“74 percent of employees struggle to make light conversation with coworkers.”
Not only does research show that short, casual conversations increase relational energy and positive affect, but this environment also improves productivity and task performance. These interactions allow coworkers to build relationships with one another, and they’re good for business performance, too.
Small talk will also make a comeback, as employers seek to balance human-centric work with technology-driven productivity gains. Bronstein told us, “As AI becomes intertwined with mundane tasks, crucial skills include human ones such as genuine curiosity, care, and the ability to speak and listen. Small talk is a microskill that makes a person accessible, sincere, relatable, authentic, and pleasant to work with.” Practicing small talk and other irreplaceable human skills can and will set you apart in the age of AI.
How to maintain small talk as a soft skill at work
Maybe you’re uninterested in discussing what the weather is like today (yeah, same). But the good news is that you can sharpen your small talk skills in meaningful ways to build genuine connections with your coworkers and benefit the future of your career. Here are some tips from Bronstein for sharpening your small talk skills in the workplace:
1. Join meetings early to lead a small talk moment
Small talk only happens when someone takes the initiative and asks the first question. Doing this is easier said than done, especially when you join a remote group meeting where conversations are already underway.
According to Bronstein, one way to take initiative, especially during one-on-one conversations, is to join the meeting first and challenge yourself to start the conversation. If you’re a planner, consider bringing a question or topic to discuss. When in doubt, Bronstein recommends offering a compliment or asking about something you’ve noticed about this coworker before. You can also lean into simple, relatable questions like, “Did you survive this morning’s commute?” if you and your coworkers are hybrid or if your meeting is in-person in the same location.
The goal isn’t to force inauthentic compliments, but rather, to express genuine interest in who they are. Here are some additional conversation starters I love for this:
- What’s something you’re looking forward to this month?
- Have you gone to any new local coffee shops or restaurants recently?
- Did you start your day with coffee or matcha?
- What’s your favorite current cozy, comfort item?
- What’s your top workday non-negotiable?
What starts as small talk can lead to more frequent conversations that benefit both of you. Think: someone to work on projects with, a network contact who can introduce you to career opportunities, and more.
2. Mirror emotional tones to go deeper
One misconception about small talk: it’s meaningless and involves discussing pointless topics no one cares about. Small talk can indeed feel this way, but it often only does when (1) the topics are genuinely boring and (2) we hear what someone says but don’t acknowledge the emotion behind it. Mirroring emotional tone enables us to have deeper conversations and “tune into a colleague’s emotional wavelength,” Bronstein said.
“Practicing small talk and other irreplaceable human skills can and will set you apart in the age of AI.”
Some ways you can mirror emotion in practice:
- If someone is excited, respond with: “That sounds interesting! Can you share more about it?”
- If someone is proud, respond with: “That’s a huge win! You must feel good about that. What made it go smoothly?”
- If someone is exhausted or overwhelmed, respond with: “That sounds stressful. A lot of tasks? Is there anything I can help with?”
Mirroring a coworker’s tone back to them can make them feel seen and heard, and in turn, more likely to share and expand the conversation. This can lead to becoming a trusted colleague, role model, and more—all of which can benefit you.
3. Pick one anchor phrase to use
If choosing new topics for every interaction feels stressful, reduce your anxiety by choosing one anchor phrase or question to ask. Questions like “What are you working on this week?” or “Anything planned for the holidays?” are easy to remember and general enough to smoothly kickstart a conversation. The more you start conversations (sans the stress), the more confident you’ll become when speaking up, which can benefit you in meetings, negotiations, and more.
Try creating a shortlist (8-10) of anchor phrases and questions you can use at work or social gatherings. Write them down and revisit your list before an event. And make sure to rotate which ones you use if you are networking with the same people repeatedly.
4. Master the art of the micro-pause
A micro-pause during conversation involves intentionally pausing for half a second or so before responding. Bronstein said that micro-pauses signal a strong presence and high self-esteem while simultaneously giving the other person time to process. A bonus for your work reputation!
Practicing micro-pausing also helps ensure we leave enough time for someone to finish their thoughts before jumping in. Especially for remote workers where lag time on Zoom or Google Meets is common, a micro-pause can help prevent unwanted interruptions in the conversation. Better collaboration leads to better meetings and better results for everyone.
5. Work on your active listening skills
Much like expressing genuine interest in the person you’re conversing with, authentic and active listening can strengthen your connection. Rather than half-paying attention or working on something else while listening to others, practice your active listening skills to become a better conversationalist in small talk.
Bronstein recommends focusing on:
- Maintaining solid eye contact with others
- Nodding along during a conversation to show engagement
- Paraphrasing to confirm you understand correctly by saying something like, “So, what I’m hearing you say is…”
- Letting the person speaking finish before you jump in
Engaging in small talk is about much more than the conversation topics themselves. Doing so intentionally and genuinely communicates to others the type of person you are: approachable, respectful, and emotionally intelligent, all of which benefit your relationships and career.
Alyssa Towns, Contributing Career & Finance Writer
Alyssa Towns is a Denver-based writer and communications professional whose writing and expertise have appeared in Business Insider, Clockwise, G2, The Knot, Passion Planner, Thrive Global, and more. In addition to being a freelance writer, Alyssa has a background in internal communications and change management and is passionate about helping humans thrive in the workplace.
