Our Appearance
This one is a doozy, and it kinda blew my mind because I’d never thought about it before. Falconer says that we as women spend a lot of mental energy worrying about how others are perceiving our physical appearance, and that this is especially wasteful in business settings when we should instead focus on being a boss. “It’s a real distinction between men and women, where men are just not thinking about this stuff at all and women can become almost obsessed about it,” she says, using a chipped manicure—one of the things she tends to become fixated on—as an example. “The fact that it’s even taking up 1% of my brain is insane—as if anyone is looking at my manicure!”
The important thing, says Falconer, is to become aware of the fact that you’re doing this so that you can reign it in. “When you walk into a meeting, say to yourself, ‘I’m not going to think about anything physical because when I do I’m reducing my power, the respect I have for myself, and the respect that everyone in the room should have for me,'” she says.
Of course, she adds, you want to look put-together in business settings, and if you know that your wrinkled skirt is really going to bother you, you need to find a way to ensure your skirt won’t be wrinkled so as to avoid the distraction; however, obsessing over the minutia of your appearance instead of whatever work it is you’re meant to be doing or discussing is totally counterproductive. “A chipped nail, a gray hair, these are immaterial when compared to your hard work,” she says, adding that a focus on these things can often silence your hard-won voice. Be mindful—would a man think about his manicure in a business setting? No (generally speaking), and neither should you.
This post originally appeared on The Zoe Report on May 7, 2018.