"The longer a relationship goes on, the easier it is to neglect—not intentionally, but just because you fall into a daily routine with your partner and life gets busy. Navigating the minutiae of life together isn’t a bad thing, it just means the little things can get in the way of spending quality time together. So, to help prioritize one another, nurture the relationship, and keep the spark alive, couples are turning to the 2-2-2 rule. Whether you and your partner are suffering from the dreaded roommate syndrome or you’re just looking to nurture your relationship (new or old!) in new ways, look no further.
What is the 2-2-2 rule?
The 2-2-2 rule is a system for helping you and your partner be more conscious of spending regular quality time together. This system originated on Reddit back in 2015 but has gained traction over the years thanks to social media with influencers like Rachel Martino sharing that she and her fiancé follow it. The system works as follows:
- Every two weeks, go on a date
- Every two months, go away for a weekend
- Every two years, go away for a week
While the 2-2-2 timeline may not work for every couple (maybe it’s too much or too little), the point is that regularly planning and prioritizing quality time with your significant other strengthens your relationship, and having a set schedule for doing so can help.
Why the 2-2-2 rule works
It’s really easy to let everyday life get in the way of dedicating time to your relationship. On top of work, there’s grocery shopping, housework, hitting the gym, doctor appointments, tending to familial obligations, spending time with friends, and more to keep up with on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. (Sorry for reminding you of *all the things* on your plate!) While you’re typically doing many of these things alongside your partner, most aren’t necessarily nourishing your relationship.
“The way I see it, if we put all of our other important to-dos on our calendars, why not schedule intentional time for bonding with our partners?”
The 2-2-2 rule gives couples a structured timeline and a sense of accountability for prioritizing the relationship even when life gets busy. The way I see it, if we put all of our other important to-dos on our calendars, why not schedule intentional time for bonding with our partners? Especially because studies show that couples who spend more quality time together are more likely to have flourishing and fulfilling relationships overall. So whether your love language is quality time or not, you can’t deny that regular scheduling of quality time together is beneficial.
How to add the 2-2-2 rule to your life
The great thing about the 2-2-2 rule is that it can be tailored to your relationship. In the comments on Martino’s reel, many people noted that the 2-2-2 was too frequent or too infrequent. So, if doing the suggested activities every two weeks/months/years isn’t realistic for the parameters of your life, perhaps adjust the rule to 3-3-3—going out for an evening every three weeks, away for a weekend every three months, and a vacation every three years. Or, if you feel 2-2-2 isn’t enough, change it to 1-1-1. One person noted in the comments that they do 2-2-1—whatever works for your life and relationship is perfect!
Additionally, if your budget is tight, and you’re thinking it’s not possible to take an evening, weekend, or week to travel with your partner, try to get creative with what you *can* do. Evenings out can be low-cost or free, such as a picnic at a local nature attraction. Bring a speaker for music and a few card games, and enjoy the sunset and stargazing.
If a weekend trip out of town isn’t in the cards, consider a staycation. Book a local home rental or hotel and explore your town like a tourist, choosing activities and attractions that fit your budget. And to make a weeklong vacation possible, consider pitching a tent at a revered nature park in your region. Drive to save money on flights and Ubers, again choosing things to do that are low-cost or free—museums, outdoor activities, local live music—to make precious memories with your partner.
Alyssa Davis, Contributing Writer
Alyssa Davis is a freelance writer specializing in home, lifestyle, beauty, and entertainment content. She studied English at Indiana University and has since produced articles for publications including SheKnows, Architectural Digest, and Well+Good, to name a few.