Sex & Relationships

The 5 Love Languages Got an Update—Here Are 2 New Ways to Express & Receive Love

written by HAILEY BOUCHE
Newest Love Languages Explained"
Newest Love Languages Explained
Source: @@pexels-user-kostina | Pexels
Source: @@pexels-user-kostina | Pexels

It comes as no surprise to singles that the dating scene is different in 2023 than it has been in years past. From how singles want to meet others (more real-life meet-cutes, please!) to the willingness that more singles have to date beyond their typical physical type, dating trends have led to this year’s infamous dating renaissance. And it hasn’t stopped there. To better understand the shifts that have impacted the dating scene over the last year, eharmony surveyed single daters and their new insights are making everyone question everything they believe about their love language.

Dr. Gary Chapman’s #1 New York Times Bestseller, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, taught us that every individual has a different way that they give and receive love: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and Gifts. But in eharmony’s recent survey, results reveal that “26% of people have changed the way they express love in a romantic relationship over the past year while 25% have changed the way they prefer to receive love.” Moreover, it was found that “nearly half of respondents aren’t sure the five love languages encompass the way they express and prefer to receive love at all,” according to eharmony.

Enter: two new love languages. Totaling seven love languages, with the addition of Shared Experiences and Emotional Security, more people have a better understanding of their unique needs in a relationship. So, if you also don’t relate to any of the original love languages, you might have been waiting for these all along. Ahead, we are diving into what they mean and how to tell if Shared Experiences or Emotional Security is your love language.


Shared Experiences

If you’re thinking that this sounds a lot like one of the original love languages, Quality Time, you’re not wrong, but they are in fact different. Shared Experiences focuses on “adventuring and expanding yourself with someone,” according to eharmony, as opposed to showing love by spending quality time together.

People who have this love language crave creating memorable experiences as a couple, as that is what makes them feel loved and close to their partner. These experiences could look like something as adventurous as skydiving or it could be as simple as learning a new hobby together like pickleball. With Shared Experiences, it’s not about what you’re doing, it’s about, you guessed it, sharing experiences.


Signs That Shared Experiences Could Be Your Love Language:

  • You enjoy planning a weekend, trip, or activity with your partner
  • You’re always seeking out new things you can do together
  • You prefer to get out of the house for date night rather than stay in
  • Your favorite memories with your partner involve things you experienced together
  • You seek out people who are adventurous or not afraid to try something new


Emotional Security

“Feeling emotionally seen and taken care of” is how eharmony describes Emotional Security. Different than seeking validation, affirmation, or praise like those who resonate with one of the original love languages, Words of Affirmation, those who resonate with the love language of Emotional Security need to feel like when they take their walls down, their partner will listen to them and respect their true emotions.

People who have this love language ultimately just want to feel seen, safe, and listened to. In addition, they aren’t afraid of being vulnerable and revealing their true and authentic self to someone else. And it is also important to those with Emotional Security as their love language that their partner isn’t afraid to have difficult conversations either.


Signs That Emotional Security Could Be Your Love Language:

  • You’re not afraid of deep conversation
  • You ask a lot of questions to get to the root cause of situations or feelings
  • Friends call you to talk through issues or feelings because they feel safe with you
  • You often ask your partner how they are really feeling about a situation
  • You enjoy the connection that is formed by getting vulnerable with someone else