"Back when I was still dating my now husband, I made him take the Love Language Quiz. Having newly discovered my own, I was fascinated by the concept and wanted to know how we could leverage this new information to better our relationship. To neither of our surprise, we have the same one (quality time), and we’ve since used that information to guide how we give and receive love with one another.
Over the years, we’ve grown together as a couple and experienced typical relationship milestones like getting married, buying a house, paying off debt, and growing our family—all of which have been very expensive. So, out of curiosity (and a need to manage our adult life and budget), I developed a passion for personal finance, and I got to wondering: Can the same principles of love languages in a personal relationship be applied to a financial relationship? And if so, how the heck can I leverage that knowledge to have a better relationship with money?
With over 27 million views of #financialwellbeing on TikTok, it’s safe to say I’m not alone in my desire to have a better relationship with money. And if financial well-being is the name of the game, understanding your love language may just be the cheat code.
Achieving financial well-being is no easy feat; however, leveraging your love language through the lens of your finances can help. Ahead, I’m sharing how you can reevaluate and fine-tune your current habits and practices surrounding money with your love language in mind to ultimately have a better relationship with money and a more secure and exciting financial future.
If your love language is words of affirmation…
People whose love language is words of affirmation appreciate verbal expressions of love. Think along the lines of “I love you,” “You’re so talented,” and “You look beautiful.” So, as it relates to money, words of affirmation equate to positive self-talk and encouragement.
What does this look like in practice? Georgia Galway, finance expert at Finbri, says to “celebrate your financial achievements, like hitting a savings goal or paying off debt” by saying to yourself something along the lines of “I’m proud of myself for achieving this financial milestone” or “I am worthy of financial success.” Galway also expresses the importance of not being hard on yourself for occasionally overspending or not sticking to your budget from time to time. In these instances, remind yourself of this through words of affirmation like “I did my best with the information I had available” or “I am still learning.”
You can also use money affirmations daily by repeating statements to yourself or writing them down somewhere you’ll be sure to see them. Give these a try:
- I deserve to be financially successful.
- I am grateful for the abundance in my life.
- I am open to receiving wealth in all its forms.
- I am confident in my ability to manage my finances.
- I am worthy of wealth and abundance.
- I am good with money.
- I am a magnet for abundance and prosperity.
- I release all limiting beliefs about money.
- My wealth is constantly growing.
If your love language is quality time…
If quality time is your love language, you like to express your love by devoting your full attention to someone and spending dedicated time together. When it comes to finances, this looks like dedicating quality time to understand and even romanticize your finances.
Try leveling up your weekly budget review meeting with yourself by pouring yourself a glass of wine, putting on some music, and dimming the lights before writing in your money journal. Or add some glamour to your trip to the bank by turning on your favorite song and indulging in your favorite coffee or treat on the way.
In any other relationship, you have to put in the effort to form a better bond. The same is true with your relationship with money, so spending quality time getting up close and personal with your finances can help you learn to love even the most mundane money tasks. Before you know it, you might even start to look forward to them.
If your love language is acts of service…
When your love language is acts of service, you express and receive love through actions. So, an act of service looks like doing something for a partner that you know they’ll enjoy, like making them coffee, cleaning the house, or running errands. When it comes to money, acts of service are displayed through actions you can do for yourself that positively impact or influence your finances.
Engaging in financial acts of service for yourself can be as simple as checking your bank accounts regularly to keep a pulse on your income and outgoing expenses or scheduling a regular time to review your budget. Alternatively, finding a deal on something you’ve been wanting and were going to buy anyway or making yourself a meal at home on a night you’d usually order in are also financial acts of service. Satisfying your love language in the name of your finances can be done in many ways. Here are some more examples you can try incorporating into your life:
- Open a high-yield savings account so your account grows without you having to lift a finger
- Pay off a credit card so you don’t have to worry about it budgeting for it anymore
- Contribute regularly to a financial goal to make it a less overwhelming feat
- Shop second-hand versus spending full price on an item to save a little cash
- Create a “buy list” so you spend your money more intentionally
- Leverage credit card perks to help with travel plans, hotel stays, and more
If your love language is gifts…
Gifts is a pretty self-explanatory love language: You enjoy giving and/or receiving love through gifts. While this might seem counterintuitive to your financial well-being, especially if you’re trying to save money or pay down debt, I challenge you to shift your perspective. Think about how you can give yourself gifts (whether they are physical or not) that will benefit your future self. This can look like educating yourself about money (a non-physical gift) so you feel more confident and informed when making financial decisions or treating yourself (with a physical gift) when you reach a financial goal.
Taking the time to educate yourself on money and better understand your finances is the best present you can give yourself, in my opinion. This is because the more you know, the more confident you will feel. The more confident you feel, the more money goals you can achieve (and the more little treats you can gift yourself when you do.) Galway recommends spending time educating yourself through “reading a book, listening to a podcast, or even just scrolling through #FinTok.”
If you feel like you’re pretty informed when it comes to your finances, try other ways you can gift to yourself. Galway recommends setting up automatic savings transfers or using a roundup account so you can put away some money without even noticing. Or review your retirement account regularly to make sure you’re on track for your goals. No matter what you choose to do, “future you will be very grateful,” she encourages.
If your love language is physical touch…
If your love language is physical touch, you might be scratching your head as to how it can be applied to money. Those whose love language is physical touch prefer giving and receiving affection through physical closeness and connection (think hugging, holding hands, and cuddling). While it would be weird to cuddle up on the couch with your wallet, physically seeing and touching your money is still the answer to financial well-being for you.
“Rather than just looking at your balance on an app or keeping track in a spreadsheet, writing in a money journal or using a budgeting method like cash stuffing might work for you,” says Galway. (Cash stuffing, if you’re unfamiliar, is an organization system where you separate your money into envelopes for each of your planned expenses.) These things allow you to have physical interactions with your money. Similarly, you can also consider “investing in physical things like property, rather than investing in less tangible things like stocks,” Georgia adds. By actually seeing your finances on paper or touching your money, it makes your money seem more tangible and real, and therefore, you’ll feel more in control.