"If you ask me, rider sex positions are a woman’s ultimate power move in the bedroom. On top of placing you in control of the experience, being on top can also help prime your body to orgasm. The positioning opens up the hips, giving your partner better access to areas like the G-spot, A-spot, and internal clitoris. Plus, taking yourself and your partner to euphoria is a major confidence boost. Girl-on-top sex positions are tried-and-true, and they’ve served my sex life well. But, just like anything, there is such thing as too much of a good thing, and recently, I found myself a little… well, bored.
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Like listening to the same song too many times, I wondered if I simply overdid it or if being on top just lost its allure for my partner and me. After spiraling for an undisclosed amount of time, I learned that this feeling had nothing to do with either of us. The truth was that reusing the same rider sex positions time and again was the culprit. So, I set out to find the top tips and tricks to remedy this, and today, I’m sharing what I learned about keeping the rider sex position exciting. Keep reading to learn five of my favorite ways to spice up girl-on-top sex positions.
1. Alter the angle of your hips
When you’re on top, changing the angle of your hips might seem like a small adjustment, but it makes a world of difference. Doing so alters the angle of penetration. Clinical sexologist Megan Stubbs, EdD, explains in an interview with Healthline that this not only “dictates how deep the penis or dildo goes,” but also “what internal hot spots (if any) it stimulates during penetration.”
If you want to go deep, try leaning your upper body away from your partner while keeping your pelvis tilted toward them. Although leaning back and supporting yourself with your hands in traditional cowgirl is the easiest way to do this, you can make this modification in any rider sex position. The beauty of this adjustment is that it usually makes hitting the front of the vaginal wall and stimulating the A-spot and cervix, by extension, easier. In contrast, leaning your upper body into your partner and your pelvis away from them when you’re on top usually creates unparalleled G-spot stimulation. You can easily make this modification by pressing your chest into your partner’s in the cowgirl position. This will create friction against your clitoris that’ll help stimulate the G-spot and make it easier to have an internal orgasm.
2. Take advantage of erogenous zones
Unlike missionary and rear-entry sex positions, girl-on-top sex positions grant your partner unfettered access to your beautiful body and some of its glorious erogenous zones. So, have them take advantage of it! Having your partner stimulate your external erogenous zones while they’re pleasuring you internally will seriously enhance the experience. On top of increasing sensations, it’ll also increase your chances of having a mind-blowing orgasm(s).
If you’re facing each other, ask them to stimulate your clitoris or nipples with their fingers or an external vibrator, like the plusOne rose arouser or Hide & Play’s Rechargeable Lipstick Vibrator. You can also press your breasts into their face if the position allows you to do so or use nipple clamps or ties. Likewise, reverse-riding your partner on a chair is the perfect move for a handsy partner. Because you can comfortably press your back against your partner’s chest in this position, they can easily caress your breasts and nipples, stimulate your clitoris, and kiss your neck and ears.
3. Experiment with anal play
Stimulating the anus was formerly considered taboo, but times have changed. Of the 3,000 women surveyed for a 2022 study, 40 percent admitted to deriving pleasure from “surfacing,” a sex technique that involves stimulating the anal sphincter. The anal sphincter has tons of nerve endings that branch out to the dorsal nerve of the clitoris, meaning that it can create intense, pleasurable sensations when it’s stimulated during sex—and reverse cowgirl is the perfect position to test this theory with.
While you can experiment with butt play however you want so long as both parties are consenting and comfortable, less is usually more. Since surfacing involves merely stimulating the outer anal area, you can have your partner use their hands or a toy, like Booty Bling’s Silicone Butt Plug or Evolved’s Beaded Anal Plug. The former option is soft, tiny, and pliable AF, while the latter choice graduates in size as you go deeper the more you play. As always, communication is key, and make sure to pair your toys with a water-based lubricant for easier insertion and play, and clean thoroughly before and after use.
4. Switch up your leg positioning and add props
Similar to how altering the angle of your hips alters the angle of penetration, switching up your leg positioning can open you to a whole new world of pleasure. Plus, there’s no wrong way to ride your partner. All that matters is that it’s enjoyable and pleasurable for both of you, so don’t be afraid to get creative and have fun with it. You can try squatting, straightening one leg while keeping the other bent at the knee, crossing your legs behind their back if you’re sitting, placing your legs out straight in front of you so your feet are on either side of their shoulders, and so forth.
Additionally, you can also throw some props into the mix, like pillows or a sex wedge. Placing pillows underneath your knees can make kneeling more comfortable. Likewise, having your partner plant their feet, bend their knees, and place a sex wedge underneath their hips can help them go even deeper inside of you. Also, if you’re having sex in a chair and can’t touch the ground with your feet (which, let’s be honest, is essential), you can place folded towels or pillows, yoga blocks, or a step stool for support.
5. Give your partner control from the bottom
As a vulva owner, being on top can make sex less painful and increase your chances of having an internal orgasm since you’re in charge of the depth, angle, and speed of penetration. None of this is a bad thing, and yet I think we can all agree that riding your partner requires a lot of stamina. It’s easy to get fatigued when you’re on top, but you don’t have to call it quits the next time you’re out of breath. Instead of switching the position, ask your partner to take control from the bottom.
Verbally granting them control is the easiest way to do this, and coupling it with seductive body language is key. Something along the lines of leaning into them and whispering in their ear, “Hold onto my hips and go deep so I can really feel you,” would work. They’ll immediately understand the assignment, and you’ll get a well-deserved respite from physical activity. Plus, relinquishing control from a traditional position of power is seriously sexy. It flips the traditional dominant and submissive roles, which can be a major turn-on for both of you.
At the end of the day, sex is truly subjective—there’s no wrong way to spice it up, so long as you and your partner are comfortable and consenting. The possibilities are truly endless whether you’re on top or not, and the sooner we all realize and embrace that, the better off our sex lives will be.
Arianna Reardon, Contributing Writer
Arianna is a Rhode Island native, professional blogger, and freelance writer. She’s passionate about helping women develop healthy relationships with money, become financially independent, and invest in themselves for the future. Arianna is a firm believer in going after what you want, taking time to stop and smell the roses, and the importance of a good cocktail.