"Maybe it’s the holidays, or maybe it’s the state of the economy. Whatever it is, it seems as though money is at the forefront of everyone’s mind right now. Case in point: the “I can’t pay the mortgage/rent this month” prank exploding on TikTok. In these videos, one partner tells the other they can’t afford the payment, and the prankee’s response is either hilarious, concerning, or both. The videos are eye-opening, to say the least, especially since the comment sections have turned into full-on heated debates over how couples should split bills.
Obviously, how you pay your bills is literally no one’s business, but the drama and controversy are sparking an important question: Is there a “right” way to split bills with your significant other? Ahead, we’re breaking down the most common ways couples split bills, plus how to decide for yourself what method is best.
How to decide what bills to split
It’s abundantly clear after watching a few of these videos that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to splitting bills. Many expenses come with living together, and deciding who is responsible for what is no small task. That said, the first thing you should do is have a money meeting. Sit down together and take stock of all your monthly, quarterly, and annual bills. Then, categorize them as “shared” or “individual” expenses. Shared expenses are the bills that directly affect both of you, like rent or mortgage payments, groceries, and utilities. Individual expenses are things like your Pilates membership and student loan repayments.
Some couples consider all of their bills (both shared and individual) their bills. Other couples decide to only split their shared expenses. Either way, writing them all down can help you get a full picture of what needs to be paid. This ultimately allows you to determine what bills you will split before you decide how you will split them.
Now, if you were having as many eyes-bulging-out-of-your-head moments as I was while reading the comments sections, you would have noticed a lot of people commenting things like, “Take me back to providertok.” Meaning, they prefer videos where the prankee is unaffected since they are usually the ones handling the payment anyway—like this video posted by influencer Ryvver Keshiro. If that’s what works for those couples, wonderful! Just know that isn’t everyone’s reality. Especially in this economy, many households need both partners to contribute financially, and if that’s the case, there are plenty of ways to do so.
Ways that you can split bills with your partner
Once you’ve determined which bills you and your partner will both be responsible for, you can then decide how, exactly, you want to split them. The good news is that there are really only a few ways to do this, so making the decision will likely be easier than you think. Here are the three ways you can split the bills with your live-in significant other:
50/50
With the 50/50 method, you and your partner split the bills evenly. Some couples will open a joint checking account, deposit their half into it accordingly, and set up auto-pay. This is a hands-free approach that also gives you both access to the money and payment activity. Likewise, one person can be in charge of paying the bills from their account while the other sends them their half through a cash app or check each month. The latter is more of an old-school roommate approach, especially since one partner doesn’t have access to the money and can’t double-check to make sure the bills are being paid. However, it can work if only one partner’s name is on the rental agreement or mortgage; if they ever stopped paying, you wouldn’t be on the hook for paying back the rent or mortgage.
Now, this isn’t to be confused with one couple’s version of 50/50 that went viral. In their case, the wife pays all the bills and the husband does the household management. This is how they split their responsibilities in half. Not to sound like a broken record, but this is what works for them, and that’s their business, not ours! Many couples, especially those with children, have their own version of 50/50 similar to this.
Income-based percentage
Unlike the 50/50 method, the Income-Based Percentage method recognizes that fair doesn’t necessarily mean equal. A partnership in which each person earns the same is very rare, and more often than not, there will be discrepancies in your incomes. This method takes that into account and has you split the bills based on a percentage of your respective incomes. One commenter exemplifies this by saying, “My spouse and I are 80/20 because he makes 4x as much as me.”
“Fair doesn’t necessarily mean equal.”
To decide your percentage, add up your total household income, then divide each respective income by the total to calculate the percentage each of you contributes. For example, if you make $40,000 and your partner makes $65,000, your total household income is $105,000. Based on these numbers, your income makes up 38 percent of the household total, while your partner makes up 62 percent. Now, take the monthly total of your shared expenses and multiply that number by each percentage to determine what you’ll pay each month. If your monthly expenses are $3,000, you would pay $1,140, and your partner would pay $1,860.
Like the 50/50 method, you can either use a joint checking account to deposit your respective monthly shares and auto-pay your bills from there or take the roommate route if one person’s name is on the apartment, house, or bill.
Joint account approach
Lastly, the Joint Account Approach fully embraces a “what’s mine is yours mentality.” Your incomes are deposited into the same account, and from there, you both pay all your bills, including each person’s individual bills. Both people have access to the money and can see what’s coming in and going out each month. The easiest way to manage this is by having all of your deposits go into the same account and either setting up auto-pay or having one person manually pay each bill from the shared account each month.
How to decide what bill-splitting method is best
The easiest way to decide which method is best for you and your relationship is to have an open and honest conversation about money with your partner. It might be uncomfortable, but being able to openly discuss finances is crucial for your relationship, especially when you’re living together. That said, immediately diving into the “what’s mine is yours” approach can feel overwhelming, which might cause friction in your relationship. Starting slowly with the 50/50 or Income-Based Percentage method can prevent this from happening, though, and is usually the easiest, most seamless choice.
Just keep in mind that protecting yourself is important. If your name is on anything, ensure you have direct access to the money for your shared bills and can see that everything is being paid on time. Trust is great and all, but if your name is on anything and your partner stops paying the bills, you will be on the hook for that money. (I’ll be damned if my credit score takes a hit!!) Similarly, if your partner bought a place before you were together and you’re moving into it, consider asking if they’ll add your name to the deed. The last thing you want is to help pay off a mortgage on a house you have no claim to if things go south. If they’re unreceptive to the idea, offer to cover bills like groceries or streaming services instead.
Ultimately, the best decision will be the one that you’re both equally comfortable with, and the decision you make now might not be the right one down the line. This is why regularly checking in with each other about your finances and adjusting your plan as needed is vital. For example, I only paid for groceries in addition to my individual bills when I first moved in with my partner. Now that we’re married and my name has been added to his original deed, we’ve taken the joint account approach. When it comes down to it, relationships grow and evolve over time, which means your finances and how you handle them as a couple likely will, too.
Arianna Reardon, Contributing Writer
Arianna is a Rhode Island native, professional blogger, and freelance writer. She’s passionate about helping women develop healthy relationships with money, become financially independent, and invest in themselves for the future. Arianna is a firm believer in going after what you want, taking time to stop and smell the roses, and the importance of a good cocktail.
Hailey Bouche, Associate Editor
As an Associate Editor for The Everygirl, Hailey Bouche oversees, writes, and edits content across various categories on the site. From the pitching stage through publishing, she works alongside the team to ensure that the content that our readers see every day is inspiring, relatable, and timely.