Job hunting can be a painful mix of isolating and draining. For job seekers like me, days are often filled with endless applications, slow responses (if any), and stiff competition. There have been nights when I have woken up crying about my job search—sometimes at one, sometimes at three in the morning. No matter the hour, the anxiety has twisted in my stomach the same: Where am I headed? When will things change?
When I first started looking, I didn’t want to complain about it. People are busy, I don’t want to sound desperate, “less hirable,” or hurt my chances of finding work. After all, the gurus on LinkedIn say that’s what happens when you talk about how hard the job search is. So, I’d stay quiet instead. But I’ve learned pretending everything’s fine doesn’t make the stress go away; it just makes the loneliness louder.
Lately, though, I’ve been trying a different approach. Instead of keeping it all in, I’ve started finding small ways to protect my peace, connect with others, and focus on what I can control. It hasn’t made the process easy, but it’s made it a lot lighter—especially this time of year, when things are already stressful enough.
If you’re feeling defeated, isolated, or discouraged, know that you’re not alone and that there are some really great (and even fun!) ways to cope. Ahead, I’m sharing five realistic ways to handle the mental strain of job hunting, as recommended by career coach Erica Rivera.
Erica Rivera, CPCC, CPRW
Erica Rivera is a multi-certified career strategist, creator of the SSIP™ framework, and a leading voice in career psychology and mid-career reinvention. A former Google and Indeed recruiter and US→Spain expat, she helps burned-out high achievers make their next career move with clarity and confidence. Her work has been featured in BuzzFeed, Business Insider, USA Today, and more.
1. Find a community that encourages you
When searching for your new job, it’s easy to feel like you’re on your own, but you don’t have to be. I’ve had moments when I’ve stared at my laptop screen for hours, wondering if anyone else was feeling the same kind of stuck. The truth is, so many people are. Connecting with others who understand what you’re going through can make a big difference. “There are a lot of communities now,” says Rivera. “I’ve seen meetup groups specifically for job seekers, and even Slack channels within professional associations or industry groups.”
I myself have made so many friends online. On LinkedIn, I’ve connected with other job seekers in my industry, and by DMing or even hopping on FaceTime, we’ve had great conversations that turned into genuine friendships—and, in a few cases, career opportunities. There are local options, too. Let’s say you’re a project manager—joining your local Project Management Institute (PMI) chapter can connect you with others who may also be in the middle of a job search. Beyond advice, these spaces offer something just as valuable: understanding and a sense of community.
Job hunting becomes easier when you’re not doing it in isolation. Whether through a professional network, an online group, or a local meetup, surrounding yourself with people who get it can help you stay encouraged and accountable. I know it has been a great help for me.
2. Pour into yourself daily
Outside of your job search, I’ve found it can really help to carve out time for the things you love—even if it’s just 30 minutes a day. Through my own hunt, I’ve noticed how different I feel when I take time to do something just for me versus when I don’t.
To feel good, I usually choose to journal, walk my dog, or get a coffee with my friend — simple things that remind me there’s more to life than job boards. These things will be personal to you. “If you love walking, yoga, painting, or anything else, make sure you’re prioritizing that,” Rivera suggests. For some, hobbies are already part of life, but for others who’ve focused on work only, they may not know what they enjoy. “That’s where I tell people: get curious and explore,” Rivera adds. This might mean going to your local library for a class or heading to Home Depot for an arts-and-crafts event. There are usually options that are little or no cost, where you can just test things out and get your mind off the search, Rivera explains.
“Little wins add up, and they’re proof that you’re making progress, even on the days that feel impossible.”
It’s also important to be intentional about what you consume mentally. “I firmly believe what you pour into yourself is really what takes over in the mind space,” Rivera says. This means choosing carefully what you watch or read. For me, that has meant being careful with my social feeds. I enjoy being on LinkedIn, but seeing endless posts about layoffs is something I have to limit. Rivera suggests an alternative to doomscrolling. Instead, turn to content that uplifts or inspires you—whether that’s mindset-focused articles, nature videos, or anything that brings you enjoyment, so you can protect your mental space during a vulnerable time.
3. Remind yourself of your achievements—at work and outside of it
When you’re feeling down about your job search, start by celebrating your wins. Rivera says, “Sit down and look at your story and think about why you were hired into each of these roles, what milestones you achieved, and what feedback you received.” Looking at my own list, I see wins that make me proud. As a writer, I’ve been published in places my college self could only dream of, and I’ve put out videos online that my younger self would have been too terrified to share. Taking the time to notice these moments reminds me of the progress I’ve made—even on the days that feel like nothing is going right.
On top of making a list, collect notes, screenshots, or kudos in a folder so you can look back when you need a positive reminder. I have a folder in my email inbox labeled “special,” where I keep kind notes from old bosses, colleagues, and readers. I often revisit it when I need a little boost. Additionally, it’s important for me to remember my worth isn’t solely tied to my achievements either. Outside of work, I’m so many things: a friend, a daughter, a dog mom, an aunt—roles that mean just as much as any job title. Remembering what those things are for you can make all the difference in your outlook.
4. Do one small thing when your search feels stuck
As you hit submit on application number 10 today, it’s OK if things aren’t going perfectly—a reminder I give myself often. Some days, my job search feels like it’s moving along: I’m finding roles to apply for, connecting with the right people, and making progress. Other days, the listings are stale, nothing seems right, and I feel stuck.
It’s in those moments that I pause, check in with myself, and try doing just one small thing to make positive progress. “Even taking one step can start to shift your mindset and build momentum,” Rivera says. That step could be sending an email you’ve been avoiding, reaching out to a contact, or updating a single bullet on your resume. Or, if you had a job interview today, sit down and reflect on what went well and what can be improved for next time.
I often tell myself, even if I don’t get this job, this interview will be great practice for the next one, and to me, that counts as a win. These little wins add up, and they’re proof that you’re making progress, even on the days that feel impossible. Just one small tweak or one small step can make all the difference.
5. Remember you’re on your own path
Job hunting can make it tempting to compare yourself to others. I know I’ve done it too. When you see someone land a new role or post about an exciting opportunity, it’s natural to wonder why things haven’t clicked for you yet. But the truth is, everyone’s journey looks different. As Rivera puts it, “It’s really important to put on blinders and focus on prioritizing yourself. Be your own hype person through all of this.”
Even when it feels like my story is moving at a slow pace, I have to remind myself that it doesn’t mean I’m behind. Instead, I need to concentrate on my own progress, celebrate my own wins, and remember that my path doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Above all, I’m not alone in this—and neither are you. Your journey is yours, and every small step is worth celebrating.
Alyshia Hull, Contributing Writer
Alyshia is a work-life journalist based in Upstate New York with a journalism degree from SUNY Oswego. She writes about career growth, workplace culture, and lifestyle. Beyond The Everygirl, her work has appeared in outlets such as Business Insider, Fast Company, Entrepreneur, USA TODAY, and Inc.
