How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Enjoy Your Life

When I was younger, I never cared what everyone else was doing. I had my own agenda and lived by my own rules (well, aside from what my mother told me, of course). I never dared compare myself to someone else, let alone allow their actions to affect my life. But once I grew out of my Princess Jasmine costume (tiara and all), I slowly grew into a self-conscious hermit crab. I found myself losing sight of the girl who once believed that she could begin her own business or write a novel, and instead, became friendly with the girl who was looking at others’ lives, comparing her hustle to their highlight reel. I was stuck—and no matter how much I tried to crawl out of the dark hole, I would somehow fall flat on my face and slide right back in. And because I’d allowed myself to be sucked into a vortex of excuses and shame, well, that’s when I knew I needed to make a change. 

I became tired of living in fear. The thought of failing overtook my drive for success and I was no longer trying to be the best version of myself. So, I decided that instead of waiting for someone to fix my problems, I found the strength to learn to love my life again. While this wasn’t (and still isn’t) an overnight success, here are a few ways that have helped me stop comparing myself to others and learn to enjoy my life. 

1. Be aware.

The simple act of becoming aware of your actions does wonders for your psyche. You become more conscious and realize how you speak to yourself. Take note of how often you compare yourself and stop it in its tracks. Constantly comparing yourself to others is a losing battle—and it will continue to feast on your spirit if you permit it to. 

Sometimes people compare themselves to others because they lose sight of who they are and what they want out of life.

2. Learn to love yourself again.

Sometimes people compare themselves to others because they lose sight of who they are and what they want out of life. They no longer trust the path they’re on and jump ship. However, having a healthy relationship with yourself will deter all these negative thoughts. When you learn to love yourself again, you begin to realize your self-worth and everything you have to offer. 

3. Remind yourself: You always have a choice.

When you look at someone’s accomplishments, it can be easy to feel defeated. But remember: That person made a lot of choices to get to where they are. Don’t let your thoughts or comparisons paralyze you from creating the life you want. You have so much to offer to the world, and the last thing you want to do is silent these hopes and dreams. When you feel down, focus on your situation and goals and push yourself to continue to move forward. 

4. Reevaluate your goals.

One good thing that comes out of comparing yourself to other people is gaining the new perspective that you want something more for your life. But instead of just wishing for your life to change, it’s best to take this time to reevaluate your goals. Yes, you may want to live this other life, but figure how you can achieve it. Connect for an informational interview, figure out what you want to change and actually do it. The more you pursue, the more in control you may feel. 

5. Celebrate your uniqueness.

Loving yourself is not a one-time act. It’s something you should practice every day. Don’t be afraid to embrace your quirks or differences. You’re meant to find your voice and share your gifts and talents with others. Just because someone does something one way doesn’t mean your way is wrong. Everyone has their own path and the last thing you want to do is stay in the shadow of another. 

6. Be OK with imperfection.

Let’s be real: It’s perfectly OK to be imperfect. You’re supposed to try and fail… and then fail again. This process will help you grow and allow you to become comfortable with the idea of not succeeding. And just because someone else seems like they have their stuff together, well, they may not. Even Beyoncé had to learn how to pick herself back up—and if she can do it, so can you. 

7. Learn to celebrate others.

When you learn to celebrate others’ accomplishments, you’ll genuinely be happier with your own life. We’re meant to encourage others and shower each other with love. We’re faced with challenges on a daily basis and it’s our responsibility to celebrate good when it arises, whether it’s our success or not. Enjoying and celebrating the life of another is the best way to enjoy your own life.

Tell us, have you ever felt like you were constantly comparing yourself to other people? What were some ways you stopped and learned to love your life?

  • Thanks for sharing this, I’m at the learn to love yourself stage, not going to lie after years of really not being happy with myself it’s tough but I’m trying my best

    – Natalie
    http://www.workovereasy.com

  • Kari Guastella

    These are great things to always remember!
    Kari
    http://sweetteasweetie.com/antioxidant-smoothie-post-raisin-bran/

  • Yesenia

    Just the words I needed to hear to start this new year. Thank you again for sharing. Will definitely keep these words in my mind all year.

  • N Lewis

    Thanks for sharing. it’s so easy to compare with social media now a days. I think it is important to celebrate our accomplishments too. Also to remember how good our lives are and all the good things that has happened to us.

    Nicky.
    http://www.sincerelybalanced.com

  • Nikki Laraja

    I really enjoyed reading this, thanks so much for sharing!

    http://www.shopthecoconutroom.com

  • Samantha

    Please fix the error on:
    “…how you can get achieve it.”

    This is very encouraging and helpful. Thank you for writing this!

    • The Everygirl

      Thanks Samantha! We’ve updated that.

  • Dee

    Thanks for writing this. I really should send it to my mom…. She uses comparison almost as a method of raising all her daughters. I remember growing up being compared to everyone who’s done “it” (whatever she chooses, from looks to accomplishments to choices of dress, homes, husbands, even wedding invitations and gifts!) better via the infamous: “Look at [so and so], they do [that] better/differently” and always ending in the “Why can’t you be more like [them]”. I resented that and all those to whom I was being compared to very much, and it caused some resentment between us sisters too when she ‘pitted us’ against each other.

    Oh, I’m ok now. Well, there may have been a liiiiitle bit of therapy…lol But parents need to read this as a hug DO NOT DO with their kids!!!

    • The Everygirl

      Thanks for sharing this, Dee! Comparison, especially coming from our parents, can be so difficult to deal with. Glad you are doing well now.

  • charlotte samantha

    I loved reading this post!! Its opened up so much that I never really noticed in myself, we all have a reason, we just got to put others behind us and allow life to take its twists and turns!

    CharlotteSamantha

  • Asia Yvonne

    Awesome post! super motivating. I have recently caught myself comparing myself to others but I had to stop and realized that I just have to trust my own struggle because everyones struggle is different!

    xoxo-Asia
    Asiayvonne.com

  • Kerrijo Ellis

    Great article ! This will get me through this year.

  • Much needed. As a lifelong perfectionist, it’s always difficult to remind myself that sometimes just being “good enough” is okay. I’m getting there!

    http://www.thepostgradcloset.com

  • Much needed. As a lifelong perfectionist, it’s always difficult to remind myself that sometimes just being “good enough” is okay. I’m getting there!

    http://www.thepostgradcloset.com

  • Caroline Pullen

    I needed to read ALL of these words today. Thank you for writing them and reminding me that 1.) I’m not alone in this and 2.) that it’s my responsibility to not sit and stay where I am… Thank you again! xx

  • This is definitely something I want to work on for this new year! I know I can live a lifestyle of not caring what others think (strangers, at least!).. one step at a time.

    McKenzie | maybemckenzie.com

  • Kate

    What a great read. Encouraging others for their success, and genuinely meaning it can be hard. Especially when we compare ourselves to our friends, coworkers, family. Sometimes it’s difficult to not think, “well why didn’t I get that opportunity??,” instead of focusing on the celebration for someone’s accomplishment.

    This resonated with me and I will come back to it when I need a reminder to love myself and show more love towards others 🙂

  • Natalia Khodyuk

    Thank you for this post!!! This is so encouraging message! Recently I have been so much down because I have been comparing myself to others and their accomplishments. With these small steps I hope I can learn to appreciate again my uniqueness and my own accomplishments! 🙂