"OK, let’s take a moment to get really honest: What would you consider to be your wildest sex fantasy? Maybe you imagine you and your partner playing with rope and tying each other up, role-playing a scandalous scenario, impossibly acrobatic sex positions, or having sex in a public place.
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It may surprise you, but these are all considered examples of kinky sex. Some people may hear the word kink and think it is limited to fetishes or intense bondage, but what many don’t realize is that kink embodies a wide range of sexual interests.
There are many different definitions of what kink is, but it is most commonly described as something that deals with some level of power-play or fantasy. Kinky acts can include anything from role-playing, different levels of bondage, BDSM, dressing up in costume, and exploring other types of fantasies with your partner. During 2020, some of the most common kinks among people were virtual sex, dom/sub play, bondage, and anal play.
And although kink used to have a much more negative connotation in our society, more people are now opening their minds to it and trying it out for themselves. If you and your partner have been curious about adding a bit more kink to the bedroom but haven’t been sure where to start, here are a few sex positions to try right now:
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Before you get started
If you’re curious about kink, there are a few important things to take note of before giving it a go:
- You may find things you really enjoy, and you may find things you never want to try again. The important part of trying kink is listening to your body, trusting your body, and communicating clearly with your partner.
- Before you try anything new, talk to each other about what you both want, and especially make sure to get clear on the things you don’t want. Consent between both parties is always important, and this absolutely includes trying different types of kinky sex.
- A common tool that couples use when they engage in kinky play, especially when it includes bondage or restraints, is coming up with a safe word between the two of you. If this safe word is used at any point, everything must stop immediately!
- When you and your partner use any type of bondage or restraints, make sure you use something that can be taken off very easily in case someone experiences unexpected anxiety after being “tied up.” More advanced levels of bondage and rope play should only be performed if you both have learned the proper and safe techniques.
- Have fun and explore! Trying new things not only connects you to yourself and your own sexuality more deeply, but it also brings more connection between you and your partner.
1. Heels Over Head
This one might require a bit of flexibility, but it’s worth the extra stretching! For this, you’re going to spread your legs and let your partner grab you by the ankles, lifting your legs toward the sky. Think about the happy baby position at the end of a yoga class, only kinkier.
This is naturally a more dominant and submissive position because the person on the bottom is letting their partner hold onto them and control the movement. For some, this new move is kinky enough. But if you want to turn up the dial, you can have your partner restrain you with some fun cuffs or light playful rope.
Kink tip: When choosing a rope to play with, you’ll want to always buy one that is specifically intended for bondage. These ropes are much softer and won’t hurt your skin.
2. Using a Blindfold
So this isn’t one particular sex position per se, but experimenting with a blindfold in bed is a gentle, fun way for beginner kinksters to get their feet (or other things) wet.
Temporarily removing your sense of sight naturally enhances your ability to use your other senses during sex. Not only will every little touch from your partner feel heightened, but the anticipation of not knowing what is coming next is extremely arousing to some people!
Some popular positions to try while blindfolding is a spooning position, doggy style with the receiver wearing the blindfold, and blindfolding your partner while you give them oral sex.
3. Bent Over the Bed
This one may not seem as kinky to some, but the reason it’s such a good position for beginner kink exploration is that it allows for a few different variations.
You can start by having one partner bend over on the bed, desk, or even a countertop (because getting creative can up the kink level for sure) while their partner penetrates them using a toy, their penis, or their fingers. If you both love this, you can totally do it and still enjoy the excitement of trying something new, especially because this is another position that already feels naturally dominating without being too intimidating.
If you both want to add a bit more playing and experimenting to the mix, there are a few things you can try! You can have the person in the back use their hands to hold down their partner or even try tying their partner’s hands behind their back. This allows the person in the back to really step into that “dom” role. If you both want to play around with light slapping or using something like a playful whip, this could be a great position to try.
4. The Giraffe
This oral sex position is great for kinky beginners because the partner giving oral sex is lying in a new, somewhat vulnerable position while their partner stands above them. The excitement of this dynamic can be arousing enough, but you can kink it up a notch by having the receiver blindfold their partner or lightly tying their partner’s hands together.
5. Arms and/or Legs Tied to the Bed
Light bondage is a great way to become familiar with kink. You can try this a few different ways, with the most common being to tie one partner’s wrists to the bedpost behind them. You can also do this with their ankles if they want to experiment even more.
This is commonly done with sex rope, but we don’t recommend beginners use rope unless they specifically know the proper knots for an easy release. This is in case you end up feeling any anxiety once you’re totally restrained. Easy-release knots often help us relax and enjoy the process, as we know we can make a quick escape at any point.
If you’re just starting out, we highly recommend waiting on the rope and instead using something like these silk restraints or this beginner bedroom restraint kit.