Predictability is a good thing sometimes. I like knowing my electric bill always stays under $22 (the perk of living in a 300 sq. ft. studio), that my dad is basically always available on Sunday afternoons for a phone call, and that ION always has reruns of Law and Order: SVU on work-from-home days. There’s something about knowing you don’t have to worry about something, that it’ll just always be the same way.
Sex isn’t necessarily one of those things.
Getting into a sexual routine in a relationship is inevitable. We like what we like! But after a while, doing the same old stuff gets boring, and we all know what happens when sex with our partner gets boring: both parties are irritable, frustrated, and insatiably horny (so much so that your sex drive can even drop). The easiest way to get out of a routine is, without a doubt, trying a new position. It’s the timeless way to make sex fun and exciting without really having to experiment all that much (I will always recommend exploring kinks and fetishes, don’t get me wrong).
These aren’t positions that will “make him go crazy”; these are positions that will enhance your’s and your partner’s pleasure. So, what do you have to lose? Whether you’ve already tried these and forgot about them or just want a slight variation of your usual missionary (no shame, missionary is h-o-t), we’ve got you covered.
Obviously a basic, but a lot of people are uncomfortable on top, whether it being their body or not knowing what to do. If this is a new position to you, try putting your legs in different positions to see which is the most comfortable for you. Straight straddling can be a workout on your inner thighs, so try kicking one leg out to the side. If you’re having sex with someone with a penis, have them put one knee out as well and see if it’s easier for your body to accommodate to their legs being spread out a little bit.
If sex can be painful for you, being on top is a great position to try, as you can control the depth, the speed, and the pressure. Another way to make this easier on your knees and thighs is having your partner support your back with his legs bent at the knees.
2. Legs above the shoulders
This is something people shy away from if they don’t think they’re flexible enough, but you’d be surprised! This position doesn’t require insane flexibility, but it is helpful if your partner helps you. This is a good one because it pushes your legs together, making your vagina tighter and convulse around their penis or fingers. This position is nicknamed the “G-Whiz” because it makes hitting your G-spot so easy. (I hope this one just made it to the top of your list!)
Have your partner come as close to you as they can in missionary and then lift up your legs, using their shoulders and chest to hold them up (see, you don’t have to be that flexible).
3. Oral sex: knees to chest
Getting in a rut with oral sex positions is very real. So, do what your waxer says and pull your knees to your chest. It might feel awkward at first, but it’s a new way for your partner to get all in the goods. It can also be a very loose form of bondage. Your hands are too busy holding your legs in place to be touching your partner or telling them exactly what to do.
4. Sitting face-to-face
You can do this position on a bed, on a couch, or in a chair. The face-to-face of this position allows you to connect with your partner and is obviously super sexy. Experiment with them sitting all the way up and you on top, straddling them, or you can try you sitting up against a chair and them penetrating from the front. You could also try wrapping your legs around them; this allows you to get even closer and more intimate, and it makes doing your kegels while they’re inside you super easy (and super, super hot).
This is a great position to try in the morning *wink wink*. If you’re having sex with a person with a penis, obviously, you’ll want to be the little spoon, but you could be big or little spoon if you’re having penetrative sex with fingers. This allows you and your partner to get super close. The penis or fingers are coming from a different angle, so it might feel different and hit your G-spot more easily. Woohoo on that! If it’s easier, you can lift up your top leg here as well.
6. The bridge
This can be done for penetrative or oral sex. We all know what a glute bridge looks like, right? Basically, this position requires holding a glute bridge in the typical missionary position. The elevation allows your partner to get deeper and puts your vagina in a different position. This one also gives easy access for your partner (or you) to stimulate the clitoris while penetrating or going down on you. All wins for everyone involved, if you ask me.
7. Oral sex: rolling on your side
This works for both giving and receiving oral sex. If you’re giving, have your partner lay on their side while you’re facing them. This could be at the edge of the bed or in the middle with you laying on your side as well (this could also entail every middle schooler’s favorite number, the 69 position!) If you’re receiving, you could follow the same steps: lay on your side and have your partner come from the side. This will look differently depending on your anatomy as well as the person you’re giving oral sex to, but the main focus here is switching perspectives so you’re not directly facing each other. Again, we’re trying to change the angle to hit different parts of both the clitoris and the penis, so keep that in mind as you’re trying this position. The views are also quite good in this position, so you’re bound to both be super turned on.
8. Laying on the edge of the bed
A different twist on missionary and the legs above the shoulders position, this one involves your partner standing next to the bed while you’re laying at the edge. You can add in the legs-above-the-shoulders position here, or you can keep your legs pulled into chest, held out in a “V” shape, or whatever feels comfortable. What’s good about this position is that your partner is firmly planted on the ground, so they’re able to thrust deeper and more controlled (meaning faster or slower, whichever you prefer!).
graphics by Leigh Ryan