"We’re halfway through the year, and those New Year’s resolutions we vowed have slowly fallen to the wayside. Once we realize this, we either completely give up on them (and wait for December 31 to start again) or we choose to reset and start again right now. I’m choosing to hit the reset button and start again.
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This time, I’m implementing new strategies inspired by the queen of self-help, Mel Robbins, to ensure the habits I want actually last. Robbins has built a reputation in the wellness world from theories like her “Let Them” theory and adult friendships theory to straightforward routines such as her seven-day reset routine and evening routine. More recently, Robbins has shared her go-to, science-backed strategies for creating new habits in a podcast episode, and I decided this was the perfect time to experiment with Robbins’ habit formation methods since I’m guilty of neglecting habits I wanted to form this year. Read on to learn Mel Robbins’ methods to make habits stick and my experience trying them.
Why is it hard to create new habits?
If you’ve ever tried to create new habits, you know how hard it is for them to actually stick. Whether it be a new workout regime, a new morning routine, or a new diet, most habits fail by day 19 of starting the habit. And there’s a reason for this. According to research (like this one), our brain is working overtime when we are trying to create new habits because we are quite literally rewiring neural pathways. For example, when we are trying to wake up earlier, it will feel like hell in the beginning because our old neural pathway of waking up at 10 a.m. is still in full effect, while our actions of trying to wake up earlier will need to be repeated enough to override the old neural pathway. This is why it feels like we’re swimming against the tide whenever we try to create new habits. But eventually, it will become easier once the new habit has been repeated enough to become a pattern in your routine (this can range anywhere from 18 days to 66 days).
Mel Robbins’ five-step method to create a new habit
When broken down, habits are simply patterns that have become a part of our daily routine, and these patterns were created through time and repetition. This means that we can create new habits in our lives with some time and repetition. Mel Robbins’ strategies to create a lasting habit are a great place to start the process.
Step one: Make it Visible
Robbins stressed the importance of making our goals and intentions visible. As she explained, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who internalize their goals (AKA “innies”) and those who externalize their goals (AKA “outies”), and those who externalize their goals are twice as likely to achieve them as those who internalize their goals. This is because when we externalize our goals (i.e., put a post-it note on the fridge with our goals written down), we are supporting our future selves by reminding them of what we’re working toward.
Making your goals visible is as easy as having a sticky note on your mirror of the things you want to accomplish or having them as your screensaver on your phone or laptop. Robbins practices this strategy by having physical cues related to her goals, such as placing her water bottle and a non-fiction book by the coffee maker to remind her in the morning to drink her water and read. All that matters is that you see these reminders regularly.
Step two: Remove temptation from your sight
This seems a bit obvious, but it’s a strategy that is essential in creating a new habit because, despite our best intentions, we can still fall into our old habits when certain cues are still in our environment. It’s the difference between having your phone on your bedside table versus having it in your closet when your goal is to stop scrolling before bed, or having a kitchen stocked with sweets versus a kitchen stocked with nutritious snacks when your goal is to cut back on sugar. When we remove the temptation (or cues) from our sight, we introduce some friction to make it inconvenient to default to old patterns.
For Robbins, this looks like removing alcohol from her fridge and replacing it with drinks like kombucha. So whenever she had that craving for a cold beer late at night, she was met with alternatives that supported her goals.
Step three: Track the progress with system
Similar to making your goals and intentions visible is having a tracking system. I can only imagine how many goals I’d have made more progress on if I just took the time to track them. Not only does this step hold you accountable, but it also gives you a dopamine hit once you can see progress being made. This can be in the form of digital tracking on a platform like Notion, a printout on your refrigerator or desk, or simply in your Notes app.
Another important thing that Robbins noted is that it’s OK to have off days. “You don’t lose progress by missing a day,” Robbins emphasized. “You can still be successful in making new habits stick; you can still be successful in seeing a change through.” The key is to keep track of your progress and to get back on track as soon as you can.
Step four: Create a plan
A study published in Scholars at Harvard found that people who attach plans to their goals have a greater follow-through rate than those who don’t make plans at all. This strategy can be as simple as writing down and blocking out a specific time in your weekly schedule to go to the gym if your goal is to exercise more or meal prepping for the week ahead to ensure that you reach your goal of having a nutritious dinner.
Consistency is key, which is why Robbins also suggested implementing “If, Then” planning. “If, Then” planning is like backup plans to ensure you’re still making progress toward your goals even when life is life-ing. If you’re committed to working out every day, factor in days when you have low energy or have an unexpected busy day (“If I have a busy day, then I will do a quick HIIT workout before dinner,” or “If I have low energy, then I will do a chill yoga practice”). If your goal is to reduce sugar, factor in days when you may be going to an event that won’t have sugar-free options (“If the party doesn’t serve sugar-free options, then I will pack snacks or volunteer to bring a dish that aligns with my diet”). Or if your goal is to wake up early, but you have a work trip coming up, factor in the jetlag (“If I feel too tired to wake up on my work trip, then I’ll give myself an extra hour to sleep in”).
Step five: Do it in the morning
Raise your hand if you have every intention of doing something, but by the end of the day, you’re too exhausted and unmotivated to do anything but scroll on your phone (*raises hand*). To avoid the midday slump and waning motivation that strike many of us after a long day of work, school, or other responsibilities, Robbins recommended tackling as many of your goals in the morning because this is the time of day when our willpower is the highest. Have you ever wondered why doing small things like making your bed or drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning makes you feel so accomplished, even though the tasks aren’t that grand? It’s because they’re small wins that create a domino effect for the rest of the day. So when we schedule in things like a workout, a nutritious meal, or anything related to our goals in the morning, there’s a good chance we’ll actually complete them compared to if we waited until the end of the day.
Does Mel Robbins’ five-step method actually work?
There are a few habits that were forgotten over the past few months that I wanted to recommit to, and I tried the strategies that Mel Robbins swears by to see if it would help me get back on track. I wanted to establish a better morning routine (one that included waking up at the same time, followed by meditation, yoga, and journaling), working out three to four times a week, and drinking a glass of water before (chugging) coffee.
Before Robbins’ five-step method to creating new habits caught my attention, my biggest struggle was remembering that I had set goals in the first place. So the visual elements of Robbins’ strategies (make it visible, make a plan, have a tracking system, and remove any temptation from my environment) provided daily reminders that helped me continue to evaluate my actions to make sure they were aligned with my goals. I now have a notecard of my goals and intentions on my nightstand that I view every morning and night, a plan to enact the “20-20-20” formula for my morning routine (20-minute yoga, 20-minute meditation, 20-minute journaling session), and a quarterly system on Notion to track my goals at the end of every month. I also noticed that when I tackle most of my goals first thing in the morning, I feel more relaxed (and dare I say proud of myself) for the progress I made by the end of the day, even if they were baby steps.
Aaliyah Alexander, Contributing Writer
Aaliyah is a writer, content creator, and blogger based in Brandon, Mississippi. She attended San Diego State University where she received a degree in journalism and worked as an editor for the award-winning student newspaper, The Daily Aztec. Aaliyah covers a range of topics including slow living, her favorite vegan food spots, minimalism, self-growth, and entertainment.