"I’ve always thrived on routine and found comfort in having every minute of my day planned. For a long time, I believed my strict routine was the secret to staying motivated and productive; I even credited it for allowing me to make time for self-care and wellness practices. But as I added step after step to my routine with each new wellness trend that flooded my social media feeds, eventually the weight of it began depleting me instead of supporting me like it once did. I pushed myself to exhaustion—forcing myself to work out when I needed rest and beating myself up when I skipped small rituals like dry brushing or journaling because I was too burned out. That’s when I realized my routine wasn’t serving me anymore. At what point does self-improvement turn into self-sabotage? Keep reading to find out. Plus, how I stepped back from my rigid schedule and what I learned in the process.
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“At what point does self-improvement turn into self-sabotage?”
How I realized that my routine was doing more harm than good
Wellness often starts with the intention of striving to be your best self. I always thought there was no such thing as caring for myself too much. I didn’t see the little voice in my head pleading with me to slow down as a sign my body needed rest; I thought it was the devil on my shoulder, testing my discipline and dedication. So, I continued to obsessively complete everything on my wellness to-do list every night, even if it was the last thing I wanted to do.
While these habits were meant to add value to my life, even something as simple as ignoring my watch’s reminder to stand every hour felt like a personal failure. The ever-evolving benchmarks of “healthy” seemed to be slipping farther away. And when I didn’t hit every one of them, I felt like I was neglecting both my body and mind. My solution was to double down on my routine. I would get anxious about making plans that kept me “behind schedule,” worrying about missing the wellness rituals I should be doing. Would I remember to use my mouth tape after having a few glasses of wine while dining out? Will I have the energy to do my lymphatic drainage massage after getting home late from my friend’s house? Rather than being a fun break from monotony, spontaneity became a source of stress lurking around every corner. Ironically, I actually thought this mindset was healthy—that my rigid adherence to these practices meant I was truly dedicated to putting myself first.
The conversation that led me to take a step back was surprisingly simple. I was venting to my mom about how exhausted I felt and how my to-do list before bed still included working out, making a protein-packed dinner, and walking to hit 10,000 steps. In true mom fashion, she responded with a nugget of wisdom: “What if you just didn’t do all that?” It sounded so easy, but I hadn’t even considered what would happen if I let myself skip my routine for one night or cut out some of my rituals. When I finally did, I realized it wasn’t a big deal. Nothing catastrophic happened when I didn’t dry brush, and not closing the rings on my Apple Watch wasn’t a life-or-death situation. This small shift was the wake-up call my wellness routine needed.
How I ditched my wellness routine
Adjusting my once strenuous wellness routine for the better wasn’t as complicated as it might seem. Once I realized I needed to step back, I took a few days for a full reset. I didn’t work out, cook anything from scratch, or meditate—I just focused on whatever felt good in the moment. After a few days of pure rest, I listened to what my body genuinely missed and only reintroduced those practices. I craved movement, so I signed up for a workout class. After a weekend of pasta and frozen pizza, I felt like I needed some veggies and protein to feel energized again. I now try to approach each day by tuning into my body and responding to its needs. I don’t look ahead to the week or let my subconscious convince me I must do any wellness practice. Instead, I build my routine day by day.
That said, I can’t say I’ve ditched routine altogether. Just because I had a wellness epiphany doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned time as a concept; I still need to be at work at a certain time, and if I want enough sleep, I have to schedule my day to some extent. However, I try to view my time within those mandatory commitments as flexible rather than having to stick to a specific plan (deadlines aside, of course). We’re always told the importance of having a consistent routine and how structure leads to productivity. But I encourage you to step back periodically and ask yourself, Is your routine serving you or working against you?
“I encourage you to step back periodically and ask yourself, Is your routine serving you or working against you?“
What happened when I became flexible with my routine
I’m more in tune with my body than when on a set schedule
When I was deep into my routine obsession, I followed my schedule more than I ever listened to my body. When my body’s needs didn’t align with the regimen, like wanting to sleep when I had a workout class scheduled, it felt like it was somehow betraying my mind. Now, my body is in the driver’s seat. I’ve learned to tune into what it needs rather than following a list of tasks I “have to” or “should” do.
I experienced less wellness-induced guilt
Guilt used to be one of the biggest motivators in my wellness routine. Every time I skipped a part of it, I felt like I was failing my body and putting my health in danger, but by pushing myself too far, I was actually doing just that. I had lost sight of why I prioritized wellness in the first place: to feel good. Now that my mindset has shifted, I no longer feel guilty for allowing myself to rest.
I realized not every day needs to look the same
I used to believe the only way to honor my body was by completing every wellness ritual daily. Otherwise, it showed a lack of commitment to my health. I’ve accepted that what works one day might not work the next, and what I need today will likely look different than what I need tomorrow and other days, and that’s not only OK but normal. I take things one day at a time, allowing more flexibility in my daily life.
I finally accepted that rest is self-care too
I’ve heard people say that rest is self-care a countless number of times, but I don’t think I truly believed it until now. In my defense, I’m a product of a generation raised on the importance of productivity. I was conditioned to measure a day’s worth by its output. However, my current mindset allows me to see that when I need to rest and spend an evening on the couch watching TV (call it bed rotting), it’s just as worthwhile and essential as a jam-packed day checking off tasks, if not more.
Lauren Blue, Lifestyle Staff Writer
As a Lifestyle Staff Writer for The Everygirl, Lauren’s articles span the topics of home decor, delicious recipes, hobbies, travel itineraries—and everything in between. When she isn’t testing the latest TikTok trend, she can be found scouring Instagram for beautiful homes to feature on the site.