I am currently planning one of my best friend’s weddings and we are less than 30 days away from her “big date.” At the end of the month, she will be walking down a simple, red-carpeted aisle at the most charming church in Chatham, Massachusetts. She can’t wait to smell the sweetness of her beautiful flowers and admire the beauty of all her carefully selected details.
Planning a wedding for 140 guests, in three months, comes with plenty of responsibility. There are meetings, tastings, phone calls, video chats, and constant communication around decisions relating to design and logistics. She’s been a star, making time to go to the necessary meetings and pulling last minute details together. Planning for my best friend has created a juxtaposition that I would never have expected to experience. All the clients that I have worked with in the past, while we have certainly developed a closeness, there is still a degree of separation from wedding planning, best friend, and real-life BFF.
With my real BFF, I am able to see just how much of her day-to-day is occupied with planning tasks that I have arranged and those that I haven’t. I’m there to answer questions about wardrobe, researching the perfect bodysuit, and returning three pairs of heels until you find the Cinderella fit. It is undoubtedly a labor of love to master every detail of your wedding from planning to wardrobe and everything in between.
Now here’s where I insert my concern: What are you expected to do when the responsibility that comes along with planning your big day disappears at the stroke of midnight? In the case of my best friend, she’s one of the ones that is definitely going to miss it all. I worry about the void she will experience in a way that has barely crossed my mind for others. Most recently, she asked if I thought it would be a good idea if she took a little retreat right after the wedding. She’s concerned that it may not be a good time to take off and wanted to gauge my reaction. I suggested, instead, that it may be the best time.
Then came my honest conversation with her about the “Post-Wedding Come Down.”
While some people welcome the calm after their big day, there are plenty that miss the activity that comes along with planning something so special, meaningful, and fun for their nearest and dearest.
With my BFF in mind, I have created a list of seven musts to help her to relish in the success of her big day rather than longing for it’s return.
If you experience a bit of a “loss” after your big day, here are 7 ways to fill your time.
If traveling sets your heart on fire, make sure that you and your partner have set aside some time to jet-set together after your wedding date. This is the most common way to kick up your heels and settle into things after a wedding. It works by keeping you separate from the home environment where you were attending to wedding planning duties and lets you immediately make new, lasting memories together that you will cherish for years to come.
Before your wedding day come up with a list of books that you can’t wait to read and learn from. Choose topics that you have been dying to learn more about but haven’t had the time. By the time the wedding has passed, you’ll be well prepared to delve into these new topics. My personal favs are often business and lifestyle books but novels certainly do the trick, too. Reach out if you need any recommendations!
Remember that dance you’ve wanted to master or that meal you’ve been dying to cook? Go for it! Find a time that you often reserved for wedding related tasks and fill it with this new activity. Learning from an expert will infuse confidence and reassurance into a task that you may have fumbled with otherwise.
Pack your bags and disconnect. Whether it be a yoga retreat or a meditation retreat it’s important for you to “detox” after your wedding. Many of these retreats can be as short as a few days or you can opt for a longer stint — maybe a week or two. Determine how long you think you would need to feel restored mentally and physically then find a retreat that matches your needs. Being unplugged and reconnected to yourself is one of the best gifts that you can give. Enjoy!
Plan a trip at home. You’ve got the planning bug anyways at this point — don’t you? This trip could include you and your significant other or it could be a bit more all encompassing, you decide! Stay local and make a fun-filled itinerary to keep busy.
Let them know before the wedding that you might feel a little less busy after your wedding and that you want to know what their schedules look like. Plan weekly coffee dates, Friday night cocktails, or Sunday morning yoga sessions. It will benefit everyone greatly to have a time set aside to connect!
Did you stay active at the gym before your wedding only because you knew the date was coming? If you’re motivated by dates, set a new date that you want to achieve certain goals by. Being healthy is a lifestyle and the longer you make a commitment to your health the greater happiness it will bring you in return. Think about building a lifestyle for the long-haul and stick with it the way you will your new partner.