10 Lessons Learned From Sharing a Bathroom With Your Significant Other

The only thing I learned from sharing a bathroom with my brother for 15 years was that his razor was not in fact a backup razor for when mine went mysteriously missing or was too dull to hack into my leg hair.

I still disagree.

So when it came time to share a bathroom with my boyfriend, you’d think I had the necessary résumé to know what was coming… right? The answer to that is a resounding “hell no” from the crowd because sharing a bathroom with your significant other is a whole new ballgame.

There’s no amount of preparation or years lived with roommates that will prepare you for the moment when you round the corner to see the person you love so much, the sweet man who brought you Chipotle on his way home from the office without even asking, pooping with the door open… watching YouTube videos.

 

 

Which explains why partnering with Charmin to talk about bathroom behaviors completely derailed our editorial meeting into an hour-long chat about the weird things our Facebook Official counterparts do. Determining the Relationship (known as DTR for you young kids) suddenly became Determining the Restroom. From beard hairs in the sink to the great war on replacing the toilet paper, we all had different stories but a shared camaraderie for the absolutely bizarre stuff that happens when you share a bathroom with the person you love.

And of course, we aren’t blameless either. Take one look at the makeup tornado that is my bathroom after a not so *glam session* and you’ll know I bring my own fair share of chaos to the equation. In an effort to see what other weird 💩  is happening out there, I polled a group of couples to answer the same question Charmin had asked us. Below is the result of my not-so-scientific findings.

 

1. Let’s just get it out of the way: the great debate on whether or not you leave the door open when using the restroom.

In the same way everyone advises you to discuss children before marriage, they should start telling you to discuss leaving the door open before moving in together. When we debated this in the office it was a sweet, “oh I never do that *giggle*” vs. “we share bank accounts, so who cares if I pee with the door open?” We all laughed, the end.

But I was shocked to find out that 90% of the people I polled told me their significant other thinks it is okay to poop with the door open. People willingly abandoned their picture perfect social media selves to write all over my Facebook about their partner’s bathroom door tendencies. Arguments erupted in the comments of their posts and I was 60% sure I had ended at least one marriage.

Whether you are a free spirit who wants to share everything with those that you love or you prefer to hug your roll of Charmin in solitude with the door bolted, I hope for your sake you end up with someone that feels the same. If you aren’t that lucky, find a nice way to start the etiquette conversation and work out a system that works best for both of you.

 

2. Towels are not just used for drying bodies, apparently they start wars too.

The following are ways in which towels are being used improperly:

  • Placing damp towels in the laundry basket, causing a mildew affect for any laundry placed above or below
  • Savagely wiping toothpaste on decorative towels
  • Wearing your towel simply as a decorative skirt making your s/o wonder if you (a) even dry off with it and (b) are under the impression that the bathroom is an adult slip and slide
  • Using someone else’s towel as your hair towel, thus leaving them naked and shivering in the shower
  • Leaving an imprint of your makeup in the towel. I get it girl, that stuff comes off in layers.
  • Confusing the floor for a towel hook. YOU ARE SO SILLY.

 

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And don’t even get me started on using a fresh towel for every shower vs. one towel all week. I don’t know how any of us are still in relationships.

 

3. All females are secretly bald because there is no way they should have any hair left, based solely on the amount that is found on the bathroom floor.

This one only needs elaboration to clarify that our hair also travels to the sink, shower walls, and any towel which crosses the threshold of tile.

 

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4. What’s yours is mine… right? Establish the sharing boundaries.

Some couples share toothbrushes and some mark the levels of their shampoo with a sharpie. This one’s tricky, but it really just comes down to what you’re comfortable with. If you can barely afford your salon shampoo and the idea of them using it daily makes you frantically google “safety deposit box,” just tell them. Chances are they thought “Hey, this smells WAY better than mine,” and went on with their day. The same goes for when you convince yourself they won’t notice if you shave your armpits before spin class with that black and blue razor so conveniently left next to the sink.

No matter how passionately you feel, just remember: at the end of the day, it’s just stuff. It’s easy to get complacent and take someone for granted, so before you draw a line in the sand, ask yourself if keeping an extra razor in the drawer is really that big of a deal.

 

 

5. If you really loved me, you wouldn’t leave me stranded without toilet paper.

I cannot count how many times I’ve been sitting on the toilet, only to look over and see a single sheet of toilet paper left. SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT.

And what was going through your mind when you tore off the second to last sheet? Were you maniacally laughing at the evil plot you laid out? Because that’s what I’m picturing now.

If you can’t remember to replace (we’ve all done it at least once), just do your relationship a favor and find a way to leave the Charmin in close proximity to the toilet. This will prevent the need for SOS signals.

 

6. And if it did get replaced, there’s a 50% chance you put it on the wrong way.

Second only to pooping with the door open, a vast majority of the women I spoke to had a similar token of knowledge to bestow on their partners: placing the toilet paper on top of the empty roll does not count as replacing. In fact, it’s almost more infuriating because you did remember, but apparently also assume that a magical maid fairy comes in and disposes of the cardboard and reassembles the wall fixture.

I even heard from a group that there is a right and wrong way if you do fully replace. A quick google search explained it to me:

I can’t say I understand you, but this group lives among us with a fire burning passion on this issue. Just imagine Hillary Clinton’s emails but with toilet paper.

 

 7. Just put your sh*t away.

Sh*t refers to everything. Your toothpaste in the sink (put it a-waaay down the drain), used tissues that don’t make it to the trash can, potions that keep your skin so beautiful, sweaty gym clothes that pile next to the shower, your 90 day supply of contact lenses… do you see where I’m going with this? Establish a place for things and put your sh*t where it goes. An extra 10 seconds and a little courtesy goes a long way.

 

8. Women should require hazardous flashing lights.

My boyfriend shared a bathroom in med school with two females. One day when I was visiting him, I heard through the wall what could only be described as 46 Bath & Body Works bottles assaulting him from their slippery built in shower shelves. He claims that he barely nudged one and a domino effect of catastrophe resulted, but I like to imagine that after months of their fragrant labels staring at him, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

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When we moved in together, he asked me one simple question: please only have one shampoo, one conditioner, and one soap in our shower.

Whether it’s leaving hot tools around (for some reason the assumption is unplugged = totally fine to touch) or slippery bubble bath suds that become a scene from Home Alone, we get up to some pretty insane rituals in the bathroom. If you happen to hear your soulmate screaming for help from the bathroom, see number 7 to prevent a disaster in the future.

 

9. Women prefer beards on their lovers, not on their sinks.

Want to know what women LOVE to stare at while brushing their teeth? No, not Ryan Gosling shirtless… TINY HAIRS ALL OVER THE SINK. It’s basically like a love letter written in follicles. Let’s start shaving our legs in the sinks and see how they feel about it.

 

 

10. It’s not cute to run out of toilet paper.

Some of you are under the impression that buying a 36 pack of toilet paper means everyone in the store is looking at you thinking “Wow. How much does that girl poop?!” I’m here to tell you that no one is looking at you, so stock up like the zombie apocalypse is next week. It’s just easier on everyone.

 

So what’s your weird bathroom behavior? What does your partner do? Tell us in the comments below!

 

This post was in partnership with Charmin, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board.

  • Haha, my boyfriend and I have been living together for 2 years and so many pieces in this article are sooo true! haha, it’s been an adjustment for us but we’ve figured it out! There are times that I’ve learned to just not ask what is happening in there or what he did with something.

    xo, Sarah

  • The other day, as I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and scrolling on my phone, my husband opened the already-cracked door and started having a conversation with me. Without missing a beat, I responded, and we continued to have a full discussion like we were sitting on the couch watching tv. Seriously, we chatted for a good 5 minutes… while i was still on the throne.

    It wasn’t until a few hours later, when I was thinking back on that moment, that I realized how weird it probably was! And that I never would’ve done that 3/5/7 years ago. When you get really comfortable with someone, there are (arguably) no such thing as boundaries – not even in the bathroom.

  • Reading this makes me feel very lucky my husband and I are more or less compatible in our bathroom habits, on putting stuff away, and on hanging towels up (designated hooks FTW).

  • Alana Forehand

    Probably the only issue I’ve encountered is he doesn’t really clean much other than the inside of the toilet bowl. I just wanna get a whole roll of Lysol wipes and go to town whenever I’m in there. That’s nothing compared to him roommate, though. Ugh. The toilet bowl ring was BLACK.

  • Lily F.

    My partner and I had an exact conversation about the towel thing this week. We moved a couple of weeks ago and he just put up our hooks in the bathroom this weekend. On Monday, I get home and there’s 4 towels on the hooks and one draped over the bathroom door. “Why did you use this green towel?” I queried. “Because I needed a towel.” He rebutted. “But what about the ones hanging on the hooks you mounted?” I asked, non-confrontationally but totally wanting to add “dummy” to the end of the question. “… Oh. I forgot.” My eyes rolled SO HARD. I berated him with (somewhat) playful questions about if he put it up, why didn’t he use it?! He then said, “Well you used the ones on the hooks, and you’re a dirty, smelly girl. So I needed a clean towel for my clean body. So there!” This from the man who would never change the sheets if I didn’t do it once a week.

  • Karen Crawford

    Towels with our names embroidered on them saved my marriage! My Mother-in-law gets us new ones each year for Christmas.

  • sooo funny and way too true #9 may be one of our biggest arguments

  • Lauren Lyons

    My husband + I have been married for nearly 10 years (together 13 years) + I’ve never seen the man go to the bathroom (or pass gas). Thank God! I’m so, so grateful! I’ve heard horror stories from other wives though. Just gross. ** I do see the occasional whiskers in the sink though.

  • Kika M.

    The toilet seat still remains left open! .. For some reason! I can’t stop that habit in my house..

  • Ha! This is awesome! I totally agree – sharing bathrooms can be the make or break! Ha ha!

    I hope you have an amazing FriYAY!
    Michael
    https://www.mileinmyglasses.co.uk