"Newly engaged to Selena Gomez at this year’s Golden Globe Awards, host Nikki Glaser said that a genie granted Benny Blanco a wish. Viewers who were unfamiliar with Benny or their relationship assumed Glaser was right—myself included. Whoever this man was, he is about as lucky as they get. But dare I say we might have been a little too quick to judge a book by its cover? The more I’ve learned about Benny since then, the more I’ve wondered how the hell Selena found a man as thoughtful, loving, and emotionally intelligent as Benny. Honestly, I thought men like him went extinct a long time ago, so from where I’m standing, Selena was granted quite the wish, too.
Since releasing their album, I Said I Love You First, last week, the couple has been in interview after interview. But it’s not the album people are most impressed with (although, it’s pretty great)—it’s Benny Blanco. Clips of him have been circulating all week from their interview on Jay Shetty’s podcast, On Purpose, and the internet has collectively decided he is a “walking green flag.” Between Selena saying she felt “immediate safety” with Benny to Benny pronouncing that men who don’t listen are “idiots,” we couldn’t agree more.
In the podcast episode, titled “How Benny Taught Me to Trust Again,” Benny explains that he made a list of qualities he wanted in a future partner (with his therapist!!) before he and Selena even got together. His self-awareness and true desire to be in a partnership that is “the perfect yin and yang,” as he describes, is a part of the interview not enough people are talking about. In a day and age where dating feels chaotic and ghosting is far too normalized, it’s nice to know that there are still people out there who want a genuine partnership. That’s the foundation, after all. To become a “unit,” as Selena describes, you have to want it—and Benny did.
Any partner could say, “I’m aware of her strengths and I’m aware of her weaknesses,” and that’s great! But Benny did more than just become aware of them. He learned quickly how to support Selena in both—and proactively, too. For example, he says “I know what she needs… she wants to talk to me before she goes to bed, she wants me to say ‘I love you’, she wants me to text her if I wind up having to stay somewhere two hours late.” Right there with you, Selena! He comments on how easy and quick checking in via text message is, but that “it really helps,” especially long-distance.
In everyone’s favorite part of the interview, Benny calls out men for not listening (finally!!). “A woman is going to tell you exactly what she needs,” he explains. What he is really saying is it’s not THAT hard to be a supportive partner, as long as you care enough to listen. And let’s make one thing clear: Listening, as a man, doesn’t earn you brownie points—it’s what you should be doing for the people you love anyway.
Even the most aware and loving people deal with conflict, and the couple isn’t afraid to admit they’re not any different. In talking about how they navigate it, Benny says “We’re the furthest thing from perfect in the world.” In the next breath, he says “We’re perfect for each other.” Benny explains that he always wants to “fix things” for Selena, but he understands that strong women ”have the world on their backs.” He goes on to say that sometimes, they “just want to complain about something, and that’s OK… you just listen.” Finally, a man who gets that being a woman is hard and annoying—and more than ever, that we don’t always need to be saved. When you pay close attention, you learn that people just want to know they can count on you. It’s clear that whether things are high or low, Selena can count on Benny.
All of this is to say that I can’t believe Benny’s toes were out during the entire interview, and I didn’t see a comment about them once online. With the internet being as truly ruthless as it is, it just goes to show that what someone says, who someone really is, and how they treat others, is far more important than what they look like, where they come from, and how their career stacks up to the person next to them. If you ask me, Benny has inspired women everywhere to search for a man who is genuinely kind and who never makes them question how respected and loved they are.
Hailey Bouche, Associate Editor
As an Associate Editor for The Everygirl, Hailey Bouche oversees, writes, and edits content across various categories on the site. From the pitching stage through publishing, she works alongside the team to ensure that the content that our readers see every day is inspiring, relatable, and timely.