7 Reasons Why You and Your S.O. Need Time Apart

Being in a romantic relationship usually sounds wonderful. You have a constant companion to go on all your adventures with and you never have to worry about ordering a wrong dish (what’s mine is yours, babe). But when two people decide to commit themselves to one another, they’re not only agreeing to experience life together, but also agreeing to spend their lives together as individuals.

Whether you’ve been in a relationship for 10 years or two weeks (or simply thinking about getting back into the game), it’s important to remember that you are a whole person and were a whole person before you became part of a team. And just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to be with them 24/7. Being apart from them allows you to reset and feel comfortable being with your own company.

But if you’re still not convinced that you and your boo need time apart every once in a while, scroll below to see all the reasons why you should give yourself some much-deserved “me time.”

 

To Recharge

Not everyone who is in a relationship will thrive by being connected at the hip with their S.O. Eventually, you may feel drained or irritated, and your energy is a vital component of how you thrive in your relationship (there’s no way you be your best self without recharging every once in a while).

But how you choose to recharge is completely up to you. Do you want to take an hour-long bath and read a book you’ve been meaning to complete? Want to go to the movies by yourself and cry your eyes out? How about going out with the girls? However which way you choose to take time to re-energize, just be mindful of your actions and don’t feel guilty. The right partner will understand that you need time for yourself to be yourself with them. Don’t worry, they’ll be there once you return; and so will you, back at 100 percent.

 

To Have More Things to Talk About With Your Partner

Have you ever noticed that sometimes when you’re with your partner, you’re not really with them? You may sit next to them or be in the same room as them, but you don’t actually interact with them. Sitting in silence or scrolling on your phone is cool to do every once in a while, but if this happens more than you’d like to admit, it may be because you guys literally have nothing to talk about.

Creating that space to do things on your own will allow you to bring new experiences to the table. Check in with yourself to see what kind of interests you want to tap into. Want to paint? Start a side hustle? Go on a solo trip to Amsterdam? Do it and share your experience with your S.O. Being constantly around each other limits conversation topics because your partner has already experienced what you’ve experiencedso doing things on your own will not only give you more stories to talk about, but will also make you feel more comfortable to do these things on your own.

 

 

To Have the Ability to Build a Relationship With Yourself

Just as RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Even though relationships are there to comfort a need we want, that doesn’t mean that we should forget the relationship we have with ourselves because someone else decided to join the party. There are moments in your life when you need to be alone to reflect on who you are, where you’ve been, and where you plan to be. Use this newfound “me time” to find new interests, to learn to enjoy your alone time, to write in a journal and to rummage through your thoughts. Whether your romantic relationship lasts or not, you’ll always be in a relationship with yourself, so you might as well make it the best one you got.

 

To Rekindle With Your Own Voice

Have you ever met (or become) one of those types of people who’s in a relationship that says “we” when talking about literally anything, even when they’re not with their partner? While there’s nothing wrong with using a different pronoun than “I”, it could indicate that time apart from their partner is needed.

It’s important for you, as an individual, to bring your own ideas, thoughts, and opinions to all your relationships. Rekindling with your voice will eliminate the outside noise, and help you solve your own problems without hearing or comparing it to your partner’s or other people’s opinions.

 

To Have the Time to Tend to Your Other Relationships

Even though your partner might be the most important person in your life, it’s vital to make time for friends and family who love you. Being with your partner 24/7 can feel isolating. It’s not quite realistic to expect them to solve all your needs. Your friends and family (even your coworkers!) are there to provide a different kind of care and love that maybe your S.O. cannot.

Establish a support system outside of your romantic relationship with people who love and care for you by developing a few relationship intentions this year to keep things in check. Make a few calls to friends when you have downtime, go to brunch with a family member you’ve been meaning to catch up with, or invite a new friend out to the movies. Making room for the other people in your life can make you feel fulfilled, supported, and loved in more ways than you can imagine.

 

 

To Accomplish Your Own Goals

Most likely than not, you and your partner don’t have the exact same goals. You may want to direct a movie one day and they may want to become a computer genius. Even though your partner will support your journey and listen to your ideas, you’re the only one who can put things in motion to make your dreams come true — and you may not be able to do that if you’re constantly hanging with your boo, watching Netflix (sorry, Netflix). Set some time aside each week to go over your plans and what you want to accomplish and maybe even have your partner do the same. Once you guys come together, you both will have more of an idea of the kind of life you want to create.

Oh, by the way, being alone enhances your creativity, so you even have more of a reason to spend time away to go after your goals.

 

To Improve Your Romantic Relationship

At the end of the day, a healthy relationship requires each person to find ways to make themselves happy by not depending on the other person to do it for them. When you spend time away from your S.O., you’re giving room for each one of you to grow in your own right, without being co-dependent. While there’s nothing wrong with being needy or feeling wanted, it’s imperative for each of you to communicate your needs and wants so that everyone is on the same page.

Ideally, your partner shouldn’t be there to make you feel whole. You invited this person into your life because you already feel whole and you just want to enjoy life with them by your side. Plus, choosing to go through life together is a wonderful bonus to your already amazing life. And how beautiful is that?

 

Do you and your S.O. Spend Time Apart? Let us know what it means for you to spend time alone in the comments below!

  • As an introvert, I understand deeply the need to be alone, do your own thing, and recharge often. Unfortunately I’ve always wound up with clingy, extroverted types who want to spend every waking moment doing something together – and solitary activities like reading or writing usually bore them, so it’s always a group activity somewhere. Annoying.

    I think I would love to date another introvert – someone who can ‘feck off’ and do their own thing too, who won’t make me feel guilty about needing to take a solo trip for a week.

  • ‘Becca’lise Deveaux

    Really needed to read this today! I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and we have a three year old, and it’s so hard for me to step away for any reason. I need to get better about this!