"When it comes to pithy love advice, who better to rely on than Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw? As the dating guru once said: “I’ve done the merry-go-round. I’ve been through the revolving door. I feel like I met someone I can stand still with for a minute… and don’t you wanna stand still with me?”
If Carrie thought that ‘90s Manhattan was a merry-go-round, then modern dating is a veritable theme park. With dating apps promising that the love of our life (or at least a decent night out and a few cosmopolitans) is a mere right-swipe away, singletons everywhere have been thrown into a metaphorical Disneyland of cheesy openers, bad dates, and questionable matches.
Now, don’t get me wrong — I love Disneyland. I also love the thrill of a new match notification, the buzz of a great first date, and the heady excitement of a budding new relationship. But what if being stuck in the revolving door is beginning to wear a bit thin? After all, there’s only so many times you can get worked up about a generic “how was your weekend?” message or squint at group shots to figure out exactly which grinning guy is Tom, 31.
If you’re feeling disillusioned by dating, there are plenty of ways to recharge. Try one of these tips to put the fun back into finding love.
Move Your Match Into The Real World
Tired of texting? When you can check out the talent from the comfort of your own sofa, it’s easy to fall into a trap of staying behind your screen. We’ve all fallen victim to the long streams of small-talk that leave you tired of telling yet another suitor where you went to college or hearing a list of their latest vacation spots.
Although the chance to scope out potential paramours before committing to an IRL meet-up is an advantage of online dating, you should try to tie down a date before you know their cousin’s favorite football team, their top five fruits, and their Mum’s sister’s cat’s name. Ask them out as soon as you’ve ascertained your interest, and let the getting-to-know-you time take place outside of your phone.
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Shake Up Your Dates
If you’ve got the standard drinks-at-your-local bar date down to a T, it might be time to try something new. After all, it can be tricky to get excited about yet another G&T with a side of comparing gap years.
Take a leaf out of Carrie’s book, and save the cocktails for catching-up with friends. Instead, break your routine with a day date or a fun activity you’ve been thinking of trying. That way, even if your date is a disappointment, you’ll at least have gotten some fresh air, seen a great comedy show, or tried your hand at paddle-boarding. And who knows — maybe your Hinge match will look a whole lot sexier grappling their way up a climbing wall.
Take It Offline
It might be tricky to imagine a world where dating takes place without technology — but if Carrie can do it, then so can you. Ditch the dating apps and look around you for connections. Maybe it’s time to try chatting to that hot guy or girl at the office, get flirty on a night out, or join that running group you’ve been looking into. Broadening your social circle and acting on real-life opportunities will widen your options for romance, and cutting out the swiping will give you a chance to test out connections before taking the plunge.
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Take A Break
If you’re still feeling fatigued, then there’s nothing wrong with calling it quits. Bump Bumble off your top apps, ditch the lukewarm dates you’ve got lined up, and book in some serious me-time. Taking a break will give you the space and time to enjoy the things you’re truly enthusiastic about — instead of on an activity that you’re beginning to find boring.
If you choose to go back to dating, then you will do so feeling refreshed and perhaps with a clearer idea of what you’re looking for. And if you don’t? Well in the words of Carrie Bradshaw: “The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love? Well, that’s just fabulous.”