"Getting “well” often feels like Charlotte York dodging the self-help section in the bookstore (“There it was: the self-hell aisle…”); no matter how well-intentioned, self-improvement can feel overwhelming and even shame-y. So it’s no surprise that Mel Robbins—bestselling author, podcast host, and motivational speaker—has gone viral again and again for her practical, no-nonsense advice and simple, straightforward strategies. Everyone from Oprah to TikTok influencers are hanging on to her every word. She’s given us the “High 5 Habit,” her five-step evening routine, and several other life hacks to include in our best-self arsenals (the “Let Them Theory” has me in a chokehold).
Equally deserving of a permanent post is her “Seven-Day Reset for More Time, Energy, and Happiness.” In a recent podcast episode, Robbins shared what to do in seven days to “reclaim your time, energy, and focus” (and noted it’s a culmination of a decade’s worth of research). If you find yourself asking, Why am I exhausted all the time? Why do I never have time for myself? Why can’t I focus? Why can’t I make progress on something that’s important to me? consider her seven-day formula “your reset button” and a blueprint for taking back control. “You’ll go from feeling scattered and exhausted to calm, clear, and ready to face whatever life throws at you next,” Robbins said. You better believe I took copious notes (so you don’t have to). Below are seven research-backed habits she swears by—use them as a guide for a week-long reset or incorporate them into your routine every week.
Mel Robbins’ Seven-Day Reset
1. Do a brain dump
Some people can drift off happily to sleep as soon as their head hits the pillow (file them under “people who must be gatekeeping”), but I cannot shut off the hamster wheel of thoughts (Shoot, I forgot to respond to that email. Did I remember to put the leftovers away? I need to schedule an OB-GYN visit…). Robbins’ solution is something she’s done for years whenever she feels overwhelmed or starts to ruminate; it’s what she calls the equivalent of “mental vomiting.” “You’re going to take everything that’s up in your brain that’s weighing you down, and you are going to get it out of your brain and dump it onto a piece of paper,” she said. Can’t sleep? Brain dump. Got a case of the Sunday Scaries? Brain dump. Overwhelmed by your to-do list? Brain dump.
Take out a piece of paper and write down whatever is on your mind. Resist the urge to put on your editor hat (just me?) and just let it all out in your journal or on Post-it Notes (one of Robbins’ vehicles for her brain dumps)—no matter how random, mundane, or trivial it seems. Once you’ve jotted down all the chatter in your mind, your brain can let it go. “One of the reasons why a brain dump is so liberating is because, first of all, every time you write something down, you feel a little space in your mind free up,” she explained. “The second thing that you’re going to notice is ‘I actually carry a lot around,’ and you’re going to be impressed with your mental capacity.” Make brain dumps a habit, and she promises you’ll feel lighter and liberated.
2. Free yourself
That brings us to the second ritual on the checklist for setting yourself up to have a great week: You’re going to free yourself. Sounds good in theory, but WTF does that mean? You’re going to notice that some (and maybe even most) of the things you brain dumped are not happening this week, yet you’re lugging them around in your head. Robbins said you’re going to release the hold those things have on you by crossing them off: “There is so much on that list that you have zero intention of doing this week. Just put a cross right through. Just take a Sharpie, wipe it right off the list.”
You’re going to free yourself of bearing the weight of tasks that don’t require immediate attention (read: things you’re not getting to this week) with zero guilt. Organizing your closet, paring down your inbox, and picking up dry cleaning can wait. By letting them go (at least for the current week) and sticking to it, Robbins said you’re implying, You’re not going into my brain. Not this week. No, thank you. “You’re making room in your brain and your body and with your energy to not carry this stuff around with you,” she continued. “Cross off absolutely everything that you’re not doing this week. See that? You are in control.”
3. Set one priority
You’ve let it all out in writing and released the burden of projects you’re not getting to this week. Now you’re left with items you can’t quite part with. Robbins wants you to stand in front of said items and ask yourself this: Of all the things that are left on this list, if I were to fast-forward to next weekend and look back on this week, what’s the one thing that, if I made progress on, would make me feel better? Is it tackling emails that are waiting for your response? Is it sorting through piles of laundry? Is it baking cookies and driving them over to a friend who could use some support? “Really look at that list because there’s something on there that is meaningful to you,” Robbins said. “Whatever that thing is for you, this is where you get to be selfish. This is where you get to say, this is something that I really would like to find a little time on.”
But before you come up with the excuse that you don’t have the time, Robbins indicated that when you circle the one thing that matters to you, you’re not committing to getting it done 100 percent; you’re merely vowing to chip away at it. If you were to pick managing your inbox, you don’t have to get it down to zero. All you have to do is carve out 15 minutes (AKA your “Hot 15,” as Robbins labels it) and put it in your calendar (“it’s not real or happening until it’s scheduled”). Dubbed the “progress principle,” a Harvard Business School study found that forward momentum in meaningful work creates the best emotions, perceptions, and motivations surrounding the events of the workday. It’s not when the study’s subjects completed the assignment that made them feel most fulfilled, but rather when they were able to make progress on something important to them.
Spend 15 minutes moving the needle on managing your inbox, putting your laundry away, or showing your friend you care. “Progress creates more positive emotions,” Robbins stated. “You feel this sense of joy and warmth and pride when you know you’re actually moving things forward. You feel more naturally motivated and interested in what you’re doing when you make progress.” It’s not the actual goal in mind that is difficult and standing in your way. It’s putting aside the time, getting started, and “moving a little bit forward in a world that is constantly screaming at you for your attention.”
4. Plan one meal
Robbins doesn’t recommend a specific diet or even prepping for an entire week’s worth of meals. Instead, she recommends just planning one meal for the week. “When you do this, you feel more in control of the week,” Robbins affirmed. Checking off that single dinner can help set in motion more meals planned for the week and take away decision fatigue around the never-ending dilemma, “What’s for dinner?” She added that research shows that people who plan their meals make healthier choices, maintain a healthier weight, save money, and experience lower stress (after all, figuring out what to eat can often be a source of stress, especially after a long day, among the million other things). But if meal prepping an entire week’s worth of meals feels like too much, having a plan for just one can make a difference.
Get your calendar out and map out one meal. You might have such a jam-packed week that the only thing you can wrap your head around is DoorDashing as soon as you shut your laptop on Friday night. If you have a roommate or live with your SO, it might look like figuring out when you both will be home to sit down for dinner together (say, Monday and Wednesday), then determining what you’re going to make (spicy shrimp tacos and spring pea pasta it is) and writing out the ingredients you need to grab from the store. You’ve got a strategy in place, you’ve got your grocery list. And if you want to be a little extra, double up the recipe; consider lunch or dinner for the next day covered.
5. Schedule one workout
It’s not just meal planning that Robbins takes the less-is-more approach—the same goes for working out. She asks that you promise yourself to do just one solid workout this week. Not five, not seven, not three, but one. Why only one? She noted that there’s research around the power of one workout, whether it’s 15 minutes or more (remember the “Hot 15?”). “Yes, one 15-minute workout makes a big difference in your health,” she said. Robbins is referring to a study published in the European Heart Journal that tracked the physical activity of 72,000 people over five years, and it revealed that even the people who only did 15 minutes per week of vigorous physical activity had a 17 percent lower risk of death from any cause compared to people who did nothing. With about 50 minutes of movement per week, that risk is reduced by 36 percent.
When you look ahead at the week, you can likely find a time in the morning or afternoon to go for a walk or do a 15-minute virtual Pilates class (bonus tip: if you do stream workout classes, put the link to the class in your electronic calendar with an alarm—treat your workouts like any other important meeting where you would make sure to show up on time).
6. Plan time for rest
It’s time to tack on finding a moment of quiet to do something just for you, to give your brain and your body respite. The only requirement is that it doesn’t involve looking at your phone. Standing in a hot shower a little longer than you normally would, making a cup of tea or a mocktail, picking up that nearly-done needlepoint project, or sitting down to read constitutes rest, but doomscrolling is a hard pass. “One of the reasons why we doomscroll on social media and hours can go by is because it lulls you into this trance, and we mistake it for rest,” Robbins said. “That’s not rest at all. It’s actually keeping your brain active, keeping your nervous system on edge, and screwing with your dopamine.”
A study from the University of Konstanz in Germany discovered that a short period of rest, even just 10 minutes, can activate the body’s parasympathetic nervous system (AKA the rest-and-digest state, the opposite of fight-or-flight mode), counteracting your stress response. Based on research from Harvard Medical School, activities like mindful meditation give you mental clarity and focus. “When you’re resting, you’re actually increasing your ability to process things to face the rest of the day,” Robbins agreed. Then there are the findings from a 2020 study in Healthcare that proved that allowing yourself time to relax can lead to enhanced physical and emotional health and prevent stress-related illnesses.
7. Connect with someone
Wellness culture may have us believe that what we eat and how we exercise are the ultimate “it” factors in physical health, but spending time with people who bring you meaning and having strong connections does your body way more good than eating enough protein or doing the 4-2-1 workout method every day. Robbins’ trick to fostering deep relationships is simply making the effort to invite that special someone in your life (platonic or not) for a date—be it dinner, coffee, or a museum outing (perhaps she’s taking a cue from the Blue Zones?). Better yet, do a two-for-one and cook dinner or work out together (see: habits #4 and #5). Robbins also suggests catching up with a loved one while driving or arriving at work a half hour before the workday to send a text or an email to somebody you’re thinking about.
Of course, Robbins backs up this point with science; in fact, she said it relates to the most important study ever conducted on human connection and happiness. Referred to as the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the study started in 1938, making it one of the longest-running studies on human happiness, providing profound insights into the true aspects that contribute to a fulfilling and healthy life. It found close relationships were the most important factor—more than wealth, fame, or genetics. “Relationships protect you from life’s challenges,” Robbins said. “They help delay mental and physical decline. Participants in this 87-year-long study who had strong social ties experienced longer, healthier lives compared to those who were less connected.” And that’s the unapologetic real talk we know, expect, and can’t get enough of from (almost) everybody’s favorite contemporary self-development guru.
Katherine Chang, Wellness Staff Writer
Katherine Chang is The Everygirl’s Wellness Staff Writer with over five years of experience in the health and wellness space. She navigates the latest wellness topics and trends through expert interviews and studies, and she’s always first in line to try them firsthand.
Feature graphic images credited to: Jordan Hunter, Dupe | Cora Pursley, Dupe | Medhanshi Mandawewala, Dupe | Sandra Strabeikaite, Dupe | Life of Safia, Dupe | Tanya Statom, Dupe