"Two years ago, I sat down the morning Taylor Swift released Midnights and ranked each song on the album alongside two other resident Swifties at The Everygirl. Looking back, we definitely had some interesting takes—“Maroon” and “High Infidelity,” for example, were our lowest-ranked songs, and they’re now two of my favorites on the album. Despite these questionable opinions, I firmly believe first impressions are crucial, which is why we’re back to rank every single song on Taylor Swift’s newest album, The Tortured Poets Department.
This 24-ounce Stanley is the take-anywhere hydration essential that’ll make an everyday appearance.
We’ve been anxiously awaiting this album ever since Swift announced it at the Grammys in February. With all the theories and easter eggs circulating, it’s safe to say we’ve thought of little else over the last couple of months—even diving deep into the theories and clues Taylor left for fans ourselves. With her announcement, Taylor, known for her highly personal yet amazingly relatable lyrics, left fans with endless questions. Most of these questions revolved around whether or not this album will clue us in on what really happened between her and Joe Alwyn and, hopefully, how she healed from the breakup of her long-term relationship.
Thankfully, the wait is over, The Tortured Poets Department is here, and we have our answers. We’ve been listening to the album nonstop since the clock struck midnight and are ready to formally announce our ranking of each song. Without further ado, we hereby conduct this post-mortem.
Meet Our Swifties
GARRI CHAVERST
Senior Managing Editor
Favorite Album: reputation
Favorite Song: “Death by a Thousand Cuts”
MADELINE GALASSI
Senior Fashion Editor
Favorite Album: folklore
Favorite Song: “Cardigan”
BELLA GIL
Associate Commerce Editor
Favorite Album: Speak Now
Favorite Song: “Ivy”
Our Official The Tortured Poets Department Ranking
31. “thanK you aIMee”
Garri: 1/5
This is a sweet song but ultimately doesn’t leave a lasting impression on me. However, I really like the idea of growing past something that deeply hurt you and finding enough peace to feel grateful for the experience. I like it, but I do see myself skipping past this song on future listens.
Bella: 2/5
As a Speak Now fanatic, this song makes me miss songs like “Mean” where a song is strictly to the point and slightly more ambiguous. Taylor’s “tortured poet” persona fully comes out here with this song, and unfortunately, I was bored of it by this point in the album.
Maddie: 2/5
I’m sorry to Taylor, but this is a skip to me. I actually found myself wanting to skip past the last minute or so on my first listen. But I love that it might be a diss track to Kim Kardashian, so two points for that.
30. “Robin”
Garri: 2/5
I think the lyrics here are really going to take time to sink in, but on first listen, this song just doesn’t stand out. On a 31-song album, songs really need to hit to stop me, and this one left me zoning out.
Bella: 2/5
As we approached the end of the album, I found it difficult to focus on this track. I can sense we’re entering a somber goodbye, but this track is blending into other similar-sounding songs on the album. I can’t help but wonder if this song is a note to her younger self who had no idea what was in store for her future.
Maddie: 2/5
This song’s penultimate placement really does it a disservice, because, at the end of this marathon, it simply wasn’t enough to be noteworthy in any way.
29. “Clara Bow”
Garri: 2/5
Can I just say, I’m so glad the album didn’t end here? This song is another to add to the group of smooth-sounding bops that don’t stand out. I’ll always love it when Taylor self-inserts (shout-out to “The Last Great American Dynasty”), but this wasn’t what I wanted from this song.
Bella: 2/5
This song sounds super similar to many of the other songs on the album, which may be the reason why I’m not feeling it too much. I think it’s fun that she constantly highlights a person through a song on her albums, but sometimes, these tracks just fall flat.
Maddie: 2/5
To be honest, I never love Taylor’s songs in the biographical vein—save for “The Lucky One”—so I’m not surprised this was my least favorite on the album. I honestly think it might be my only skip. However, there is something so satisfying about hearing Taylor say her own name. There’s a chance it’ll grow on me, but as it stands, “Clara Bow” is my weakest link.
28. “Peter”
Garri: 2/5
The album is clearly winding down with “Peter.” The punchiness from the beginning is now gone and Taylor is getting deeper in her feelings. I’m sure I’ll grow to like this song more, but right now I can’t get past the fact that I just don’t like Peter Pan metaphors.
Bella: 3/5
I was surprised to see the amount of song titles named for a person on the album. Before listening, I was thinking of the name Peter in a more biblical sense for some reason—perhaps because she has so many other religious references scattered throughout the album). I’m all for writing a song about a fictional character you can’t get out of your head, so I liked this one.
Maddie: 2/5
I agree that this feels like the winding down of the album. I think this might grow on me over time as I have a soft spot for Taylor’s piano songs, but where it stands, it was deeply forgettable.
27. “imgonnagetyouback”
Garri: 2/5
This was a little weak in my opinion. There are 31 songs on this album, and at track 18, it’s going to take something special to stand out. Unfortunately, this missed. It’s still a good song—just not my favorite.
Bella: 2/5
I’ve gotta give props to Taylor for another phenomenal bridge in this song, but other than that and the upbeat tune, this wasn’t one of my favorites. I like the double meaning of the song, but after listening to the rest of the album, this one sits low on my list.
Maddie: 3/5
This song kind of feels like it could have snuck onto Midnights if it tried to. It’s catchy and fun and even though there technically aren’t any glitter pens on this album, I’m so happy there are catchy, upbeat, easy listens like this dispersed amongst the soul-crushing ones.
26. “Fresh Out the Slammer”
Garri: 3/5
I won’t be as critical as Maddie or Bella here, because I actually really do love this song. I think her voice sounds absolutely beautiful here. Is it the most standout song on the album? No, but this one will grow on me—a la “Maroon” on Midnights.
Bella: 2/5
Something ignites in me when I hear the first chords of this track, but I hate to say that the rest of the song disappoints me a bit. I would have loved to hear Taylor take the twang of those chords deeper into it, but for me, the melody turned into a classic Taylor-esque song that left me wanting more.
Maddie: 2/5
Not every song can be a hit, and while I had high hopes for this song based on its title, it fell a bit flat for me. I appreciate the more Western vibe of it, but it falls into the unfortunate category of un-noteworthy for me. Unfortunately, being forgettable gets you a two.
25. “Cassandra”
Garri: 3/5
This album really is a moratorium of Taylor’s career up until now. She reflects on her relationships, her fame, and the feud that defined the mid-2010s. In “Cassandra” she finally gets to feel vindicated. I love how she uses the myth of Cassandra, cursed with a gift for prophecy that no one believes, to express how it felt watching the world turn against her, despite being right all along. That said, this song was not immediately memorable to me.
Bella: 2/5
I couldn’t help but compare this song to Florence & the Machine’s “Cassandra.” After all, they are written about the same mythological figure. Maybe I’m comparing the two too much, but I wanted more out Taylor’s. I can see myself skipping this song throughout my future listens.
Maddie: 2/5
I think this is an important part of the story of this album, and that it serves a purpose (mentioned here by Garri). While I appreciate that, it just isn’t a song I feel attached to nor believe I’ll listen to much.
24. “The Tortured Poets Department”
Garri: 3/5
Similar to “Fortnight,” this song pales in comparison to some of the later songs on the album. I do see it growing on me in the future once I’ve had time to digest and really listen to the lyrics—but it doesn’t stand out on a first, second, or third listen. I would give this a two, but the line about moving the ring on her middle finger to her ring finger made my jaw DROP on the first listen.
Bella: 3/5
As someone who majored in English in college, listening to this song felt like how it felt when a friend of mine would tell me about what it was like to date that one boy in our class who always had something to say. The Dylan Thomas, Patti Smith, Chelsea Hotel of it all…we get it, you both bonded over reading Just Kids way longer than we discussed it in class. I don’t hate the song, but I can’t help but giggle a bit since it makes me think about those former discussion groups and being surrounded by your stereotypical English major kids. (Guilty, since I am one too!)
Maddie: 2/5
I have a feeling this might be a hot take, but this song didn’t do for me. I appreciate the ultra-specific references, but I didn’t react to it the way I did many others on the album. Is this a skip? Only time will tell, but my gut is saying yes. (I also don’t think Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist—sorry, Charlie.)
23. “The Alchemy”
Garri: 2/5
I didn’t love this if I’m being honest. I’ll keep an open mind and admit it might grow on me, but as of right now, I was left feeling a little meh. I don’t mind Taylor’s honesty (clearly!), but this song is just a little too on the nose for me.
Bella: 3/5
It was only a matter of time before Travis Kelce joined the “Taylor Swift Wrote a Song About Me Club,” and I have to say that this one stopped me in my tracks after I listened to it more than once. I didn’t catch it on the first listen, but eventually, it grew on me. It’s fun! It’s cute! And it also has me looking forward to more songs about Travis with football references in the future.
Maddie: 3/5
After my first listen, I didn’t even slightly remember this song, but it’s slowly growing on me. Touchdown, trophy, cut the amateurs from the team? Mother tried to pull a fast one on us, but I do believe this is the first of many songs about Travis!
22. “So High School”
Garri: 3/5
I can see this song soundtracking a coming-of-age movie that I absolutely eat up, but I really don’t want happy on this album. Give me feminine rage! Give me heartache! I love you Taylor and Travis, but please save it for the next album.
Bella: 3/5
First of all, the guitar chords in the intro totally brought me back to the vibes of Fearless, and as the song went on, those vibes stayed. Obviously about Travis, I think it’s so fun—albeit, pretty cheesy—that the songs about him center on football references and in general just feeling weak in the knees about your new and wholesome relationship. It’s a deep contrast to the vibes of the rest of the songs on the album (an understatement), but it’s still an entertaining listen nonetheless.
Maddie: 2/5
I gotta say, this didn’t do it for me. I think it’s such a fun and hilarious reference to Travis—”you know how to ball I know Aristotle”—but with so many songs on this album, this is forgettable to me.
21. “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)”
Garri: 3/5
This is the big sister of “cowboy like me.” I love the Western sound and the low guitar strums. But in an album full of jaw-dropping lyrics and musical masterpieces, this one doesn’t shine.
Bella: 2/5
There are always a few songs I forget about no matter how many times I listen to them, and unfortunately, that’s this one for me. The slow melody doesn’t help, but I do like her soft voice throughout the song—and how she takes back her word in the final verse.
Maddie: 3/5
I deeply appreciate the slightly Western vibe of this song, and it definitely isn’t a skip (or remotely close to it). I find the chorus to be incredibly catchy, but compared to the other songs on the album, it doesn’t stand out quite as much. This left me with no notes, positive or negative.
20. “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus”
Garri: 2/5
This song is really sad, but it’s not a standout for me. However, at this point in the album, we’re transitioning into a sound that reminds me of folklore and evermore. While I’m thrilled by that, I already miss the synth-pop anger from the first half of the album.
Bella: 2/5
Upon first listening, I didn’t really care for this track, and despite listening to it over and over, it still was a miss for me. It’s one of those sad songs that blend into the rest, so it didn’t leave a lasting impression.
Maddie: 4/5
By now we know there are many Matty Healy references on this, and this song almost feels like a confession of sorts to me. This really dives into the fantasies and thoughts she had about MH throughout her years with Joe and the turmoil of having one person in the back of your mind that you wonder “what if?” about when you’re in a relationship. “If you want to tear my world apart just say you’ve always wondered”? Oof. I am a Folklore and Evermore girl, so this song crossing into that realm is a plus for me.
19. “The Bolter”
Garri: 3/5
There are so many songs on this album that I can so clearly picture as the soundtrack to a teen movie, and this is another one. I like it! Not much more to say than that.
Bella: 3/5
I’m finding myself curious about the “she” Taylor is singing about here. Who is she!? Obviously, she’s the bolter, but could it also be about Taylor herself or someone she knows? The chorus is fun, the story is easy to follow, and it sounds like a classic Taylor Swift song.
Maddie: 3/5
While I was listening to the original songs of this album, I felt that she so distinctly went through the first four stages of grief—denial, bargaining, anger, depression—but didn’t touch that deeply on acceptance. This song is that in such a much-needed way for me. After the emotional journey this album takes you on, her saying “When she was leaving it felt like breathing” made me want to celebrate for her.
18. “I Look in People’s Windows”
Garri: 3/5
Oh, I really like this song. It’s sweet and yearning and sad at all at once. It’s a short song that I think will grow on me, but this album is full of hits—hence the mid-tier rating.
Bella: 3/5
I love a short song that always has me wanting more. She said what she said, and that’s it! This track is a small bite of what the album is as a whole. It’s a peek inside her mind (and her songwriting notebook), which is focused on heartbreak and what-ifs.
Maddie: 3/5
I really, really like this song. I love it when Taylor really dives into yearning. The idea of being so desperate to see someone that you’re a peeping Tom is really not what I expected on this album, but nonetheless, what I deserved.
17. “Guilty as Sin?”
Garri: 3/5
I was left feeling just a little meh with this song. I like it, it’s catchy, but as with “Fortnight” and “The Tortured Poets Department,” the smooth sound doesn’t stand out to me.
Bella: 2/5
I can see this song growing on me in the future, but as of right now, it’s slightly lackluster for me. I love the songwriting and catchy tune, but I wish the song sounded a tad bit different.
Maddie: 5/5
On my first listen, this song didn’t stand out to me, but suddenly something switched in me and I can’t get enough. I feel like this is exactly where I want Taylor’s sound to live forever: it’s catchy and moody, and her voice sounds phenomenal. I actively feel withdrawal if I go more than 30 minutes without listening to this—this is going to be an on-repeat song for me for sure.
16. “Fortnight”
Garri: 3/5
This is a solid opening song, and I totally see why it’s the single—but in the grand scheme of the album, it’s not the strongest song for me. I absolutely adore Post Malone and love this collaboration, but my initial enjoyment here begins and ends with the idea that this is a smooth headbanger with a few cutting lines.
Bella: 3/5
The first line of this song couldn’t be a more perfect introduction to the album as a whole. (Knowing Taylor, she definitely did that on purpose.) However, I’ve got to give all my props to Post Malone, who harmonizes and sings along with Taylor so beautifully. After being featured on Beyoncé’s album last month and Taylor Swift’s this month, Post Malone is killing it lately with these features.
Maddie: 4/5
I cannot tell a lie, so I need to admit I was hoping TikTok’s AI version of this was going to end up being the real one. After I got over the fact that it wasn’t, this grew on me immensely. I think it’s going to be the radio hit of this album, and I absolutely adore her saying she wants to kill the wife watering flowers. I couldn’t originally imagine what a collab with Taylor and Post Malone would sound like, but it works so well, especially for this album. Also, is this song about Matty Healy? All signs are pointing
15. “The Prophecy”
Garri: 4/5
Taylor sounds incredible here. It scratches the same itch as “The Albatross” for me, and I really love it. This late in the album I’m starting to run out of coherent words (unlike Taylor, of course), but I do love this song and think it has a lot in common with some of my other favorites on this album.
Bella: 4/5
Any song where Taylor Swift mentions how she is slightly unstable is gonna be a hit in my book. In this track, she mentions howling at the moon, sorcery, and covens while lamenting over changing “the prophecy” that seems to be her fate. Unfortunately, it’s sealed, as is my love for this song.
Maddie: 3/5
This was a late-album win for me. I think we can all relate to feeling a bit of fatigue toward the end of listening to this album, but this snapped me out of it real quick. As I’ve said 15 times at this point, I love when Taylor gets witchy, and a mention of a coven is a win for me. However, I think if I broke my favorites into thirds, this would fall into the second tier for me.
14. “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys”
Garri: 4/5
I immediately connected to this song. Taylor’s vocals immediately shine, and I found myself singing along to the chorus on my first listen-through, which is a sure sign this will become a favorite for me.
Bella: 4/5
The more I listened to this song, the more I liked it. And then I realllyyyyy liked it. I can already picture my girlfriends and I singing every word to this song in the car with the windows down—the same way we do with “All Too Well”—and not skipping one beat. A song about heartbreak that’s set against a really good beat is always going to do it for me.
Maddie: 3/5
Another forgettable bop to me. I do think this might also be about Matty Healy, which gives me intrigue, and I’ll nod my head to its tune every time I hear it. But is it a favorite? No. However, “once I fix me, he’s gonna miss me”… girl gave us too much with this album.
13. “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart”
Garri: 3/5
This was a little jarring to hear if I’m being completely honest. I love the juxtaposition of the devastating lyrics with the upbeat music (a Taylor Swift-Jack Antonoff staple), but I wasn’t expecting it here. When I first saw this title, I thought this was going to be a heartwrenching ballad, and I think that’s what I was hoping for. I’m not disappointed, Taylor, just surprised. Extra point for the line, “Lights, camera, bitch, smile.”
Bella: 4/5
We’re about to see so many “I’m so depressed, I act like it’s my birthday” mugs and T-shirts all over Etsy in the next few weeks. Yes, this song is sad, but I’m also tapping my foot while Taylor croons how miserable she is over a super-catchy beat—thanks, Jack Antonoff! This is one of my favorites on the album so far, but it also has me reflecting on how the hell she even performed around the world for months on end while feeling like this.
Maddie: 4/5
Sure, we all knew Taylor was dealing with heartbreak at the start of the Eras Tour, but this song gives such amazing insight into it. It’s another that is completely unhinged; something about “I cry a lot but I am so productive” and “no one knows I’m miserable!” to such an upbeat tune is simultaneously relatable and iconic to me. This is an instant Taylor Swift Treadmill Strut classic.
12. “Down Bad”
Garri: 4/5
I really love the metaphor of a relationship being like an alien abduction and how that is played within the music here. On top of that bit of cleverness, the lyrics here are SO GOOD. The chorus is immediately catchy and one I know I’ll be scream-singing in my car like the main character in a movie. This is also one of the first songs of the album where I think we get to the heart of Taylor’s feelings throughout this album, and true to form, they’re super relatable. Sometimes, when a relationship ends, you’re left screaming into the void, “What’s the point of it all!?”
Bella: 2/5
Unfortunately, this song might be one of the ones I skip during my future listen-throughs. When Taylor said “teenage petulance,” she really meant it with this track. If there’s one thing she is though, it’s constant, so I’ll give her that
Maddie: 5/5
Choosing my favorite song on this album is feeling impossible, so doing it the only way I know how: by which one I think I’ll listen to most. By that measuring stick, this is my favorite TTPD song. Come December, if this isn’t my most-played song on Spotify for 2024, I’ll be absolutely shocked. “Down Bad” is Taylor at her finest: melodramatic lyrics paired with a beat that will live in my head rent-free.
11. “But Daddy I Love Him”
Garri: 4/5
I’m being careful with my fives, but I truly do love this song. It harkens back to the imagery of folklore and evermore, which I always gravitate towards. I love the little country flair of the chorus and think I’ll be screaming this with the reckless abandon of a younger, unmarried, version of me sooner rather than later.
Bella: 3/5
Taylor Swift is so self-aware it hurts! And I’ll eat it up every time! This song is all silliness, especially with the fun lyrics against the serious yet dreamy melody. Yes, I’m picturing myself running through a field while screaming the lyrics to this song (as I do with most Taylor Swift songs), and no, I’m not ashamed of it.
Maddie: 4/5
I love it when Taylor mixes asides and interrupts herself in her lyrics, and this is the absolute pinnacle of that. “I’m having a baby” with “No I’m not, but you should see your faces” so perfectly encapsulates that toxic relationship and post-breakup mania in a way that manages to make actually chuckle at it. Taylor did this for the girls!
10. “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”
Garri: 4/5
The pared-back music and honest lyrics force you to really listen here. Among this public autopsy of an album, I think that’s important. Taylor really wants to send a message. The message? A cutting diss track to someone who left her high, dry, confused, and pissed. Also: the key change is going to haunt me forever.
Bella: 3/5
It was hard for me to transition into this song after the last song was so catchy, so I can’t say that this track was one of my favorites. It’s scathing, raw, and honest, which I always appreciate from her. But if there’s one thing Taylor’s going to do that has me on her side every time is to provide a showstopping bridge, which she did here.
Maddie: 5/5
This is, by far and large, the best diss track Taylor has ever written. It’s exactly what I wanted from this album: the wrath of a woman scorned with the perspective of knowing she made it out on top. “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” is to Joe as “All Too Well” is to Jake. “You deserve prison but won’t get time?” Good riddance.
9. “The Black Dog”
Garri: 5/5
I really love this song. I think a lot of fans were surprised that the first half of the album didn’t have a ton of songs seemingly about Taylor’s breakup with Joe Alwyn. “The Black Dog” kicking off The Anthology signals that this is where we’re getting that reflection. This is a really pretty, honest, and sad song. It’s exactly what I thought this album would be, and I am in no way disappointed.
Bella: 3/5
I like the sound of this track, and the lyrics perfectly embody what’s running through your mind during a heartbreak. The build-up of the melody shows the eventual build-up of her rage, and I’m here for it.
Maddie: 4/5
This song is Taylor Swift’s lyrics at their best. They’re ultra-specific in the storytelling of realizing she still had her ex’s location but somehow the premise feels universally relatable in the most gut-wrenching of ways. I adore her screaming throughout this album, and her screaming during the chorus of this is so perfect. You can so deeply hear and feel her pain.
8. “The Albatross”
Garri: 5/5
This scratches an inch in my brain—similar to Beyoncé’s “II Most Wanted,” which I’ve been listening to on repeat. This will be a song I return to over and over again. The lyrics are excellent. The music is beautiful. Overall, this made me perk up in the dead of night when I first heard it. Absolutely love it.
Bella: 4/5
I absolutely love it when Taylor Swift’s songs crossover into spooky and folky themes like “Willow” and “Ivy,” and upon first listening, I’d put “The Albatross” in that category as well. From the actual sound of the song to the lyrics, I was enchanted by this track.
Maddie: 3/5
I’m with my peers here that I love when Taylor crosses into spooky themes, and I know there’s a ton of meaning around this song. However, after a full album listen, I can’t remember what this sounds like, which makes it hard to give higher than a three for me.
7. “loml”
Garri: 4/5
This one really hurts. “So Long London” has the track five spot, but I’d argue this is the real break-up lament. It’s incredibly sad, and the turning of the phrase from “love of my life” to “loss of my life” is going to keep me up at night. The year I got married, my top Spotify song was “Tolerate It,” so I’ll be crying along to this in no time.
Bella: 3/5
This song made me realize how much talk of marriage Taylor mentions throughout the album, which really makes the transition of the meaning “loml” so much more heartwrenching. I’ve been a Swiftie since the days of her debut album, so seeing her write and sing about topics we all go through and eventually will go through solidifies the fact that we’re all still growing up alongside her. She just sings about it and goes through it all very publicly.
Maddie: 5/5
Contrary to “Down Bad,” I don’t think I’ll listen to this very frequently due to a desire to be a happy person, but it gets a perfect score for its lyrics, which I believe are some of Taylor’s best, ever. It’s honest, raw, and gut-wrenching, and to me is in the same vein as “Tolerate It” and “Illicit Affairs.” The bridge took me out for 4-5 business days.
6. “I Hate It Here”
Garri: 4/5
I must sound like a broken record at this point, but I adore this song. This is the most folklore-sounding song on this album. Lyrically, sonically, thematically, it’s a meta take on the mental escape Taylor created during the pandemic. folklore was a creative, somewhat fictional palace she created to cope, and this song explains why.
Bella: 4/5
Listening to this song brought me back to listening to folklore for the first time. It’s sad, but it’s written so beautifully that you can’t help but feel transported to the gardens and valleys Taylor sings about. The more I listened to this track, the more it grew on me. Her vulnerability shines so clearly through the song that you can’t help but feel exactly what she’s feeling as she’s singing about it.
Maddie: 4/5
I think this is such a beautiful song. I agree with Garri’s sentiments here—it was such a beautiful glimpse into her coping mechanisms and how she functions and deals with emotion.
5. “How Did It End?”
Garri: 4/5
I really love the lyrics and overall message here. Sometimes, when relationships end, you have no idea why or how it happened. This song perfectly captures that confusion and the inability to explain it to yourself, let alone to the people closest to you, and, in Taylor’s case, the world. I really love this song. Again, the sad, retrospective break-up ballads are speaking the most to me.
Bella: 4/5
Taylor Swift is a phenomenal storyteller, and time after time, her songs and lyrics are proof of that. In a slow, haunting song like this one, I’m picturing the story she’s telling directly in my mind. This song is so tragic that it’s almost hard to listen to, but the beauty and prose of it all keep bringing me in.
Maddie: 4/5
Oh God, do I think this is a beautiful song. A relationship ending is hard enough on its own but needing to answer to the people in your life about why (and even tell them that it ended, period) is such an added dagger that’s so accurately depicted here. This is a song that anyone who’s ever experienced a breakup can relate to.
4. “Florida!!!!”
Garri: 5/5
I knew this song was going to destroy me as soon as I saw the Florence & the Machine feature. As a long-time fan of Florence Welch, it feels like Christmas hearing her and Taylor sing together. On the first listen, I was immediately banging my head and knew this would quickly rise to the top of my “favorite Taylor Swift songs” note on my phone. I love the overall message of needing to escape after an emotionally harrowing experience. In true Taylor fashion, and as with much of this album, it’s cutting lyrics disguised as a bop. Love it.
Bella: 4/5
I am a major Florence & the Machine fan, so I was looking forward to this track, especially since they’ve never made a song together. Upon first listening, this song delivered right away. Florence’s verse comes in so naturally and contrasts perfectly with Taylor’s. There’s nothing more Florence-esque than her verse where she says “I’m haunted but feeling just fine,” and it makes me giddy over the fact she says it on a Taylor Swift album.
Maddie: 3/5
I’m a massive Florence & The Machine fan and almost choked when this collab was announced. It really didn’t disappoint me. I’m so happy that Florence is featured so heavily on it (unlike, ahem, the original “Snow on the Beach”). I think that her voice compliments Taylor’s voice and the vibe she captured on this album. I was so curious about the exclamation points in the title, but man, do they make sense after hearing it.
3. “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”
Garri: 5/5
When reviewing my notes, I gave an astonishing amount of songs a five on the first listen. Some of those fives didn’t make it past the first round of edits, but “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me” is truly incredible. I believe it’s the thesis of the album. We’re reviewing Taylor’s last two years with her. Personally, she went through a devastating breakup, but it was during a time when she was literally the most famous she had ever been. This song reflects on the extraordinarily difficult balancing act of going through something harrowing personally played out on a stage in front of the entire world. It’s an experience we normies will never really understand, but I think it’s the most honest song from Taylor on this album.
Bella: 5/5
This is by far my favorite song on the album. I love the haunting instrumental track, the “oooohs” in the background, and I especially love Taylor Swift screaming “Who’s afraid of little old me?” This is what I thought (and wanted) the whole album would be like, and I already know this song is probably going to be in the top songs of my Spotify Wrapped come December.
Maddie: 4/5
I’m a spooky girl to my very core, so this song ending up being Taylor’s take on a haunt absolutely thrilled me. When I realized what was happening on my first listen I literally giggled aloud in my bed. The greatest (and most pleasant) surprise of this album to me is how unhinged she is throughout, and this is unhinged in the most fun way possible. “You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me?” Please. Her saying “I’ll sue you if you step on my lawn” also makes me wonder if it’s a reference to the Olivia Rodrigo drama over Joe. Everyone in my life should count their blessings that this song wasn’t an October release given what that would’ve done to me.
2. “The Manuscript”
Garri: 5/5
So many of The Anthology songs blended together during my first couple of listens, but I perked up as soon as “The Manuscript” started playing on every listen-through so far. It’s a more mature, self-reflective, and positive version of “Dear Reader.” Where “Dear Reader” was a message of despair and loneliness, “The Manuscript” is a closing of the book on that phase of her life with an undercurrent of hope that I deeply appreciate. This is the perfect song to end the album. The period in which The Tortured Poets Department was written was clearly chaotic and heartbreaking, and this song signals that she’s finally put all of those emotions behind her and can finally move forward. I’ve felt similarly in my life and love how this song puts that experience into words.
Bella: 4/5
This song is so very clearly a perfect way to end the album. I don’t see it as something I would listen to on its own but definitely would for the times I’ll listen to the entirety of the album(s) from start to finish. Taylor Swift tells many stories within this album, but this track closes the book on the main story she was trying to tell.
Maddie: 5/5
This is the absolute perfect ending to this album; it wraps the entire thing up in a beautiful bow. I didn’t think I had the ability to tear up left in me but I, in fact, did. After songs like “loml” and “so long, London,” this was so moving to me. Her saying goodbye to her six-year relationship with “at last, she knew what the agony had been for” and saying that the story isn’t hers anymore is the healed version of Taylor I didn’t know if we’d get on this album. Her approaching this from a sad, almost tired perspective rather than one that’s happy and over it was the perfect finale. No notes.
1. “So Long, London”
Garri: 5/5
This is absolutely my favorite song on the album, and I knew it from the very first note. Taylor’s track fives are always a shot to the heart, but this perfectly encapsulates the feelings that come along with the end of a long-term relationship. It’s absolutely devastating and, without doubt, will be my most-played song come this year’s Spotify Wrapped. It’s angry and sad with an undercurrent of hope. Beautiful. No notes.
Bella: 5/5
There’s no denying this song is absolutely tragic on all accords, and I can’t stop listening. The beginning harmony draws you in, and her cadence keeps you there. It breaks my heart to compare it to “London Boy,” but something had to give for us to get this one.
Maddie: 5/5
I expected this to be the “All Too Well” of The Tortured Poet Department and the song on this album that knocked me out. I was correct in that assumption. This is a lyrical masterpiece and anyone who says otherwise is a fool (respectfully). I love the peek we get into her fury amidst the sadness; “I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” is the new “give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.”
