Every year around this time, we have a tendency to think that the rest of the year–the Q4 of our personal lives–is a wash. We lose motivation, feeling confident we’ll get to it in the new year. Maybe this wasn’t the year you finally perfected your workout routine, grew your business, met the love of your life, or figured out what you actually want to do with your career, so you start thinking, OK, next year will be my year. I’ll reset then. I’ll get serious then.
While there’s nothing wrong with simply wanting to enjoy your life, and in fact that is what I primarily recommend (constant optimization is exhausting fr), you do not have to prolong it until the new year if you do want to hit goals or change your life. There are still three months left in 2026–and that’s a really long time when you stop trying to change everything and get intentional about changing the few things that actually matter. If I wanted my life to feel noticeably, undeniably different by January, there are five rules I would follow to have the greatest impact.
I don’t think most of us need 25 new habits to become our “best selves;” we need a few mindset shifts that are simple enough to actually follow but meaningful enough to create real change across our lives. If you want to start 2027 feeling more connected to and in charge of your own life, here are the five rules I would follow–and “homework assignments” to actually apply them IRL.
Listen to the episode: The 5 Rules I’d Follow If I Wanted to Completely Change My Life by 2027
1. Make an identity that’s incredibly specific
Most of us have spent enough time imagining our “best selves.” We know what her home looks like (thank you, Pinterest), what her morning routine is (definitely would start at 5 a.m.), and probably even what she’s wearing (lots of Chanel and Khaite that current-me cannot afford). The problem isn’t that we haven’t imagined her clearly enough; it’s that we haven’t defined ourselves clearly enough to actually act on it–and we’re imagining an idealized person, not someone who is recognizably us.
Think about how vague most of our goals are: I want to be healthier. I want to be more confident. I want to be successful. I want to be better with money. Instead of starting with what you want to achieve, get incredibly specific about the kind of person you want to be. Instead of wanting to be more creative, decide you’re a person who writes for 30 minutes before opening her inbox. Instead of setting a goal to create deeper friendships, decide you’re the friend who remembers birthdays and actually calls. Don’t just put “make more money” on your vision board, decide you’re someone who has a money date every Sunday, waits 48 hours to make a big purchase, and pitches yourself to bigger clients.
But here’s the thing–you can’t just pick a new identity, write it in your journal 55 times, and expect your brain to believe you. You need evidence. If your identity is, “I am someone who follows through,” say you’re going for a 20-minute walk and then actually go. If your identity is someone who is confident in her career, finally send the pitch you’ve been overthinking for three weeks. If you’re tapping into rich girl energy in this identity, finally look at your credit card statement instead of avoiding it. Each action may feel insignificant, but together they create a body of evidence that says, This is who I am now.
Your Homework:
Choose three identity statements for the rest of 2026, then ask yourself what one piece of evidence for each would look like this week. Make them specific enough that if someone followed you around for a week, they could pinpoint your identity statements by your actions.
2. Give yourself 90 days of delusional commitment
What is the one goal that, if you made meaningful progress on it over the next 90 days, would create the biggest ripple effect in your life? Maybe it’s finally launching the business, getting strong enough to run a 10K, finding a new job, finishing the first draft of the book, making an extra $10,000, or dating seriously after spending the last three years saying you want a relationship while going on one date every six months. Whatever it is, pick a goal and let yourself be a little unreasonable about how seriously you take it.
Once you choose your goal, go all in on it in a delusional way. If you knew for an absolute fact that you were going to achieve it in 90 days, what would you do now to make it happen? The “delusional” part becomes especially important when you’ve been showing up and nothing dramatic has happened yet. We tend to interpret the absence of immediate evidence as evidence that the plan isn’t working, so we change the plan, lower the goal, or decide maybe we just don’t have the willpower, motivation, or energy. For 90 days, stop constantly renegotiating whether you want the thing or doubting whether you can accomplish it. Imagine taking all of the energy you normally spend questioning the goal and putting it into pursuing it instead.
Your Homework:
Choose the one goal you want to make your thing for the rest of this year. Then decide what consistently pursuing it actually looks like. If you’re growing a business, maybe that means making five pitches, publishing two pieces of content, and spending one uninterrupted block of time improving the product every week. If you’re changing careers, maybe it’s submitting a certain number of thoughtful applications and having one networking conversation per week. Whatever your goal is, commit to those actions for 90 days, and then let yourself get delusional about it. Believe with your whole heart that you will accomplish that goal in 90 days. How would you show up differently to prepare for that goal if you knew it was going to happen?
3. Make your calendar match your priorities, not your intentions
Your calendar is one of the most honest forms of self-reflection. A “goal” that only gets whatever time is left over after work, errands, other people’s requests, emails, scrolling, and chores is probably going to remain a dream. There’s also a huge difference between fitting something in and building your life around it. If you’re building a business entirely in the cracks between everything else, you shouldn’t be surprised when it grows like something that lives in the cracks. If you want to get healthier but your schedule is packed with meetings and errands and your workouts, meditations, or meal prep is what you intend to get to “if you have free time,” your health is not really your priority.
Maybe you say writing a book is your biggest dream, but you haven’t blocked off a single hour to write. Maybe you desperately want a different career, but every night after work goes to Netflix because you’re exhausted. Maybe you say your relationship is your biggest priority, but the only time you spend together is sitting next to each other while you’re both on your phones. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about those things, it means there’s a disconnect between the life you intend to create and the structure of the life you’re currently living.
Your Homework:
Look at the last seven days of your life as if they belonged to a stranger. Look at your calendar, your Screen Time, and what you did when you had an unexpected free hour, and completely ignore everything you say you want. Without judgment, ask yourself what they suggest your current priorities are. Then look at the next seven days and put your real priorities on the calendar before the week fills itself up for you.
4. Plug the leaks that keep you the same
We all have energy “leaks,” or routines, habits, situations or people that drain our energy while we continue to let them have access to our lives. The friendship dynamic that always makes you feel small. The situationship you’ve ended four times but keep reopening every time you’re lonely. Saying yes because disappointing someone feels more uncomfortable than disappointing yourself. Spending money in ways that feel good for 10 minutes but contradicts the financial life you’re trying to build. Doomscrolling for two hours and then feeling unmotivated or unconfident. These are leaks because every time you participate in them, they take a little bit of the time, attention, confidence, money, or energy you need to build the life you actually want to live.
None of those things makes you a bad or undisciplined person, but it may be helpful to start asking yourself: What does this cost me? The situationship doesn’t only get the night you see them; they get the week afterward when you’re analyzing texts and wondering where you stand. The impulse purchase doesn’t only cost $200; maybe it costs some of the freedom you’re trying to build with your savings. The hour of doomscrolling doesn’t only cost an hour; maybe it changes the way you feel when you look in the mirror afterward. When you start measuring things by their full cost instead of their immediate cost, some of the choices you’ve been making stop looking quite so harmless.
Your Homework:
Identify three places where you can feel yourself giving away something you need. Maybe one leak is a person, one is an expense, or one is a habit. Then decide what plugging each leak actually requires. You don’t have to solve every problem in your life before January, but you can stop giving unlimited access to the things that keep taking you back to a version of your life you’re trying to leave.
5. Notice where you’re living in a waiting room–and then leave it
Almost all of us have at least one area of our lives where we’ve subconsciously decided that our real life hasn’t started yet. When I lose the weight, then I’ll buy clothes I really love. When I make more money, then I’ll travel. When I meet someone, then I’ll go to the restaurants I’ve been saving. When I’m more successful, then I’ll feel proud of myself. When I’m more confident, then I’ll start posting, speaking up, dating, applying, or taking the risk. We turn our lives into waiting rooms and tell ourselves we’ll only sit there temporarily, but sometimes we look up and we’ve been sitting there for years.
And sometimes the waiting room isn’t about what we’re waiting to do; it’s about what we’re waiting to feel. You decide you’ll feel successful when you hit a certain number. You’ll feel beautiful when your body changes. You’ll feel proud when you accomplish the next thing. You’ll relax when you have enough money. And then the goalpost moves because there is always another number, another milestone, another person doing better, another reason you haven’t quite earned the feeling yet.
The goal isn’t to stop wanting your life to change; it’s to stop treating the life you want as a prerequisite for fully participating in the life you have. In fact, changing your life requires you to start acting before the circumstances are perfect. Wear the clothes before you have your dream body. Take the trip before you have a partner. Make the content before you have the following. Celebrate before you’ve reached the biggest milestone. Leaving the waiting room means asking yourself: What am I withholding from my life until I become, achieve, or receive something else? And then find a way to stop withholding it now.
Your homework:
Finish the sentence: “When [blank] happens, then I’ll finally [blank].” Don’t overthink it: When I lose 10 pounds, then I’ll wear that skirt. When I have a partner, then I’ll take that trip. When I make $100,000, then I’ll feel successful. When I get the promotion, then I’ll celebrate. Whatever comes up, look at the second half of the sentence and ask yourself whether there is any version of it you can have now.
You can be deeply committed to becoming healthier, wealthier, braver, more successful, or more fulfilled while refusing to postpone your joy until you’ve proven that you deserve it. This version of your life is not the waiting room for the real one.
TLDR; You don’t have to wait until the new year to change your life
The point of these five rules isn’t to give you five more things to perfectly execute before January. In fact, I think one of the easiest ways to stay stuck is to constantly consume advice, make new plans, start new routines, and convince yourself that this will finally be the system that changes everything. You can spend so much time trying to improve your life that you never actually live differently.
Instead, think about what would happen if you took just one of these rules seriously enough that it changed the way you spent an ordinary Tuesday. Maybe you finally block off the two hours for the goal you keep saying matters to you. Maybe you stop reopening the relationship that keeps draining you. Maybe you keep one tiny promise to yourself and start building evidence for a new identity. Changing your life rarely looks dramatic while you’re in the middle of doing it. Most of the time, it looks like making a different choice than the one you usually make, and then making it again.
You don’t need to arrive to January with a completely different life. But if you spend the next few months making enough different choices, you might start 2027 realizing you’ve become someone who creates change instead of waiting for it.
Listen to the episode: The 5 Rules I’d Follow If I Wanted to Completely Change My Life by 2027
Josie Santi, Host of The Everygirl Podcast
Josie has been an editor and writer for The Everygirl since 2017 and became a certified Holistic Health Coach in 2020. Listen to Josie on The Everygirl Podcast, where she interviews guests and hosts episodes on a variety of educational, inspirational, and entertaining topics.
Images featured in graphics credited to: Instagram | Josie Santi, Cora Pursley | Dupe, Polly Paixão | Dupe, Diana Olsen | Dupe, Ella McMeans | Dupe, Victoria Harder | Dupe, Cora Pursley | Dupe
