"Jealousy might not be a good look, but it hardly seems fair that the women who have it all—the career, the partner, and the house—also have the ability to magically converse with anyone. While the rest of us mortals stress over putting our foot in our mouth, these women use their silver tongues to glide through and move up the ladder in life. But according to communication expert and author of How to Talk To Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Leil Lowndes, the women who have it all aren’t smarter or prettier than us earthlings. Rather, they’ve mastered the art of communication.
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If you think this sounds too good to be true, trust me when I tell you that I thought the same thing. But after reading How to Talk To Anyone, there was one secret that stood out among the rest: Scramble Therapy. Ahead, everything you need to know about Scramble Therapy, including what the technique is, why it’s the secret to being able to talk to anyone, and how to implement it in your life.
What is Scramble Therapy?
To put it simply, Scramble Therapy involves scrambling your life up by trying new things. With this technique, you do something outside of your normal hobbies and interests one weekend a month, every month. This could be anything from taking a horseback riding class to hiking, visiting a chess lecture, and more. According to Lowndes, this will turn you into a modern-day Renaissance woman who can comfortably discuss a variety of interests.
How does Scramble Therapy work?
No one in the world is going to share all of the same interests as you; there are bound to be some differences, especially when it comes to discussing how you spend your free time. When those differences come up, being unable to contribute to the conversation or keep it going is the last thing you want. This is where the beauty of the Scramble Therapy technique comes into play.
“Immersing yourself in experiences can help you learn about a wide variety of topics that can come up while conversing with others.”
In How to Talk To Anyone, Lowndes writes, “You get 80 percent of the right lingo and insider questions from just one exposure.” Case in point: The scuba diving lingo and knowledge she picked up during a three-hour class on vacation. During that time, Lowndes overheard certified divers asking each other questions, like whether they prefer diving in reefs or wrecks and where they got certified. This taught her what questions to ask and subjects to bring up when she encounters other divers.
No matter what it is, briefly immersing yourself in experiences can help you learn about a wide variety of topics that can come up while conversing with others. Whether you’re at a dinner party, work conference, or on a first date, this technique will make you look more impressive; no one will be able to get over how vast your knowledge is and how well you’re able to keep up and hang with the best of them. Plus, this will help you avoid awkward silences for good. “You’ll never be at a loss again when the subject of extracurricular interests comes up,” Lowndes says.
While there are no guarantees that you’ll know about every topic that could ever come up in conversation, you are more likely to relate to certain ones if you immerse yourself in experiences. For example, you might not know how to scuba dive, but if you know about snorkeling, you’ll be able to find some common ground to maintain conversation.
How to practice Scramble Therapy
1. Step outside of your comfort zone once a month
To use this technique yourself, Lowndes recommends scrambling your life once a month to “do something you’d never dream of doing.” If you’re an analytical thinker, sign up for a pottery or writing class to tap into your creativity. Visit an exhibition for something you’d never normally go to or sign up for a local sports tournament. The choice is yours! There is no wrong way to do this, so long as it’s something outside your comfort zone. Meetup, Eventbrite, or Facebook are great online platforms for finding events in your area but don’t forget to check out local bulletin boards and ask around to see what others are doing that you can get in on.
Activities to help you get started scrambling your life:
- Go bird-watching
- Sign up for a volleyball tournament
- Take a tennis lesson
- Go horseback riding
- Visit a chess lecture
- Take a creative class, like pottery, writing, or painting
- Go bowling
- Sign up for a scuba diving lesson
- Take a cooking or mixology class
- Fly a kite
- Play a new card game
- Check out a stamp exhibition
- Go to a yoga class
2. Take note of everything
Although you’ll naturally glean insider knowledge and lingo trying something new, it’s still important to be observant. This means taking note of everything. Instead of zoning out while the instructor’s speaking, stay alert and focused; listen to the vocabulary the pros use while conversing with one another. You essentially want to be a human sponge during your monthly scramble so you can absorb as much insider knowledge as possible. And taking note of everything is the perfect way to do just that.
“Be a human sponge during your monthly scramble so you can absorb as much insider knowledge as possible.”
3. Ask questions
Asking questions is a vital part of learning. After all, it’s a way to exchange information—one that can not only unlock learning but also provide better clarification on a subject and improve interpersonal bonding. Needless to say, it can be a powerful tool during your monthly scramble. Asking questions will give you more in-depth knowledge on a topic, which in turn will make it easier to talk to anyone about it down the road.
4. Practice, practice, practice
They say that practice makes perfect, and that goes for conversing with others. Instead of shying away from conversations, openly embrace them. This means mingling with people outside of your circle at parties, providing thoughtful input in the workplace, asking a cashier how their day’s going, and so forth. It might feel uncomfortable, but striking up and engaging in conversations and using Scramble Therapy when the situation calls for it is key. Because the more you converse with others, the better off you’ll be. Soon enough, you’ll be able to talk to anyone with ease.
How to use Scramble Therapy to talk to anyone
Whether you choose to take part in something you’ve always wanted to do, get involved in something trending (hello, pickleball), or find the courage to do something that scares you (cold plunge, anyone?), the fact that it can make you a better conversationalist is all the more reason to give it a go. After all, it’s never a bad idea to immerse yourself in new experiences and hobbies.
Scramble Therapy is the single best technique I’ve learned to improve my social skills (and avoid dreaded small talk), and a big part of that is because it’s actually enjoyable to do new things. Take what you’ve learned and experienced to strike up conversations with new people, pivot an awkward one, or simply tell a funny story about that one time you tried a karate class. Either way, the more you practice this, the more confident you will be talking to literally anyone.
Arianna Reardon, Contributing Writer
Arianna is a Rhode Island native, professional blogger, and freelance writer. She’s passionate about helping women develop healthy relationships with money, become financially independent, and invest in themselves for the future. Arianna is a firm believer in going after what you want, taking time to stop and smell the roses, and the importance of a good cocktail.