Friendship

9 Conversation Starters to Bring Up When You’re Getting to Know Someone

written by BELLA GIL
Source: Cottonbro | Pexels
Source: Cottonbro | Pexels

Do you ever just really want to be friends with someone but you’re not sure how? Or you met someone on a dating app but don’t know how to take the next step? Whether you’re both regulars at your local coffee shop or they’re that one acquaintance you always chit-chat with at the gym, it’s honestly a little bit confusing how to cross over from strangers to something more once you’ve reached adulthood. 

Wouldn’t it be so easy if you could just skip all the awkward “hi”s, introductions, and constant worries about if they remember your name or not and just grab them by the shoulders and say, “Can we be best friends already?” Don’t get me wrong, if that works for you, it works for you! But sometimes, an old-fashioned “Hey, we should actually hang out later” works the best.

It sounds a little silly, but sometimes it can be nerve-wracking to agree to hang out with someone for the first time. What will you talk about? What if the conversation gets awkward? We’re listing some conversation topics to help you get through those scary moments.

 

Gush a little (or a lot)

Talk about similar interests: Do you both love makeup? A certain show? The easiest way to get close to someone is when you’re both gushing about something you both love. Even if you find you don’t have common interests, it’s so important to learn about what other people are passionate about when getting to know them.

 

 

Try remembering the tiny details

It’s a given that someone will warm up to you if you remember the things they’ve told you before. I know I’ve always been pleasantly surprised when I mention something in passing and someone followed up on me with it after it’s happened. Whether they mentioned going to an upcoming concert or their birthday is coming up, sparking a conversation about how the concert went or their Zodiac sign could lead to an abundance of conversation.

 

Favorite shows/movies/book

Someone’s favorite form of entertainment could reveal a lot about them. What makes these specific titles their favorite? Why? Do you agree with them or have any hot takes about it? More specifically, what did they think about the Twilight movies? Do they watch The Bachelor every week? Have they read anything by Colleen Hoover?

 

Ask about where they call home

Everyone’s definition of where they call home varies greatly from person to person, but a hometown is all about what you make of it. If they do, what do they love about it? If applicable, why did they move away?

 

Their go-to story

In college, one of my professors had every student sit at the front of the class and tell their go-to story to practice their communication and storytelling skills. He called it “Story Day.” Everyone has one. From fishing headphones out of a sewer grate to the time you got caught sneaking out, everyone’s story is unique in its own way. Share your go-to story with your new friend and ask about theirs.

 

 

Ask what their daily mixes on Spotify look like

Anyone else find it crazy how your Daily Mix 1 playlist can be composed of all your favorite bands in this one specific genre, but your Daily Mix 3 can be full of great suggestions for a hyper-specific, niche, sub-genre of music you’re thinking about listening to? Daily Mixes are so telling of what we like to listen to in our different moods, and learning about someone else’s Daily Mixes shows a little insight into their life.

 

Best place they’ve ever traveled/somewhere they really want to travel

Travel conversations are some of the best to have. Whether you know a hole-in-the-wall, must-see spot at your favorite vacation destination or your new friend has a strong opinion on where not to go, learning about past or future trips allows for great conversation.

 

If someone is visiting you, where do you take them?

I love this conversation because everyone’s answer is always different, even if you live right next door to each other. This topic really shows what they appreciate and why.

 

Coffee/gas station order

A fun one, this conversation highlights someone’s go-to pick-ups whenever they stop at a gas station or how they like to order their coffee. Are you a Snapple person? One shot of vanilla or two? Decaf? The options are seemingly endless.