"Everything that can go wrong will go wrong—at least, that’s what Murphy’s Law states, which essentially promises that every aspect of your life will likely go awry at any given time. It’s an alarming thought—one that we’ve seen come to life in many troubling ways over the last decade. On bad days, it’s easy to feel like “the universe is against me,” while on good days, we claim “the universe has my back!” But what if our experiences—good or bad—aren’t predestined by the universe but are determined by us? And what if we can change how we view our lives so that more actually goes right?
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Enter the Mirror Theory, a viral mindset shift centered around the idea that everything we experience externally is a reflection of our inner self. The aforementioned feelings of everything always going wrong? The Mirror Theory would claim they’re a manifestation of your expectations. On the flip side, if you find that most things in your life tend to go your way, the odds are that you’re subconsciously putting the pieces into place (read: Lucky Girl Syndrome). Content creators like Andrea Piecuch (who went from being hospitalized while simultaneously dealing with a bad breakup to feeling happily engaged in the peak of her life) are singing the praises of Mirror Theory. If this sounds like the type of glow-up you’re envisioning or you’re hoping to feel more in control of your life, here’s how you can apply Mirror Theory to change your life.
Own up to the role you’re playing
Mirror Theory requires you to take radical responsibility for everything in your life; every thought, emotion, and action will have a ripple effect. The Mirror Theory means that every judgment or belief you have about others may actually be a reflection of you instead of them and therefore requires you to take responsibility for the beliefs you have or outcomes you experience. Burnout Management coach Emily Bruth shares an everyday example: If you smile at strangers, they’ll smile back at you because you’re friendly—and vice versa. Many believe people aren’t inherently kind, but the world may not actually be an unfriendly place; you may not allow people to show you how friendly they are. Likewise, if you hold the belief that “There are no good men out there,” is it possible you are attracting a certain type of man or limiting yourself from men that could actually be a good fit for you?
Remember that it works both ways
While your beliefs impact how you experience the world around you, remember that others are going on the same journey. How they perceive you can be entirely a projection of their own beliefs and often says more about them than it says about you. Everyone will perceive you differently, depending on the way they feel about themselves, which is why those who react negatively are probably just projecting their own insecurities onto you. “Some people will find you inspiring, and some people will find you intimidating—and it is not your responsibility to worry about the people who find you intimidating,” shares content creator and Mirror Theory fan Lauren Black, explaining that people act as a mirror of their own beliefs about themselves.
“Mirror Theory requires you to take radical responsibility for everything in your life.”
Realign your thoughts
Everything ‘clicked’ for Piecuch as she was lying in a hospital bed. She realized that she had a lot to be grateful for and no longer wanted to think so negatively. “I told myself, ‘I’m going to get better, my bones are going to heal in record time, and I am going to meet the love of my life,’” she explains. Fast forward a few years, and almost everything she believed came true. Rather than wishing for a life full of healing, love, and happiness, she projected and lived healing, love, and happiness. To channel this mindset, start thinking like the person you want to become. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, focus on everything possible. Write down your big goals as if they’re already true. Walk into every situation with the belief that things are going to work out for you. The power of our thoughts is very real, so make sure yours are working for you, not against you.
Take an audit of your social circle
They say you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and it makes sense—your inner circle influences your mindset, habits, and even self-belief. According to Bruth, like attracts like—so if you’re surrounded by negativity, drama, and judgment, it might be time to reconsider who you’re making time for. “If you have friends who are ambitious, you will be driven. If you have friends who have a growth mindset, you will continue to grow. If you surround yourself with healers, you will find strength to heal yourself,” agreed manifestation astrologer Alexie Gigi. “Your environment fuels your evolution, so continue to curate it with intention.”
Start by taking an audit of your social circle. Think about your closest friends and ask yourself if they reflect the type of person you want to be. Are your values and mindsets in sync? If not, take some time to think about how that reflects on the energy that you’ve been putting out into the world—and where you want to go from here. According to Mirror Theory, your relationships are your clearest reflection, so be mindful about who gets a seat at your table and curate your social circle with your best self in mind.
Mallory Levy
Mallory is a writer and marketing strategist living in New York City. Her writing has appeared on Apartment Therapy, BuzzFeed, The Kitchn, and Yahoo as well as in the Instagram captions of brands like L’Oreal, Warby Parker, and The Infatuation. Outside of work, she enjoys rewatching 90s rom coms, getting lost in Central Park, and drinking far too much iced coffee.
Feature image graphics credited to: Wabeno, Adobe Stock | Baptista Ice James, Unsplash