What to Focus on Right Now Instead of Trying to Find the “Right Person”

If you spent less time trying to find a soulmate, what else could you accomplish in your life?

We’re officially well into “cuffing season,” and scrolling through photos of couples on Instagram can make it seem like everybody is in a relationship, and for some reason, our society loves to make people believe they can’t be happy and successful if they aren’t in one. This allows us to become so overly focused on trying to find the perfect guy that we neglect so many other areas of our lives. If you spent less time trying to find a soulmate, what else could you accomplish in your life?

Here’s what to focus on that is going to make you so much for fulfilled than trying to find the “right person”.


Killing it at work

One of the best ways to keep yourself busy from focusing on finding a significant other is being a boss babe at your job. When you’re focusing on your career pursuits, you’re going to give off a sense of confidence that many will find attractive. So, set high goals for yourself and then achieve them — then reach for the ones that are even higher!

The things that you have built in your life, such as your career, are the things that nobody can take away from you. Then, when a great person does come into your life, you’ll have the relationship and everything else that you have been building as well. One day, you’re going to want your partner to be proud and excited that they are with someone who has accomplished so much in their life.


Source: @naoumie


Getting to know yourself

This is the perfect time to really get to know who you are. Learn what you like and what you don’t like. Find your passions and joys in life and invest more time in the things that bring you happiness. Spend time alone reflecting. Allow yourself to love who you are, and if there’s something you don’t like, then use this time to change it.

When you become comfortable with being alone, you’re teaching yourself that it’s ok (and empowering) to be independent. You’ll naturally be a source of positivity and confidence that others are going to want to be around, because energy is contagious. If you trust in the law of attraction, you’ll also be attracting someone who is just as happy and confident in who they are.


Source: @hayet.rida


Prioritizing your friends & family

Being single gives you the opportunity to spend more time with the people in your life who you love. Have more girls’ nights with your friends and be there when they need you. Visit your parents more. Call your brother. Appreciate your friends and family by investing in those relationships. Those are the people who are going to love you no matter what. Keep the people around you that want to see you evolve and succeed. Every strong woman needs a support system — grow yours now.



Doing things that make you grow

Be actively doing things for yourself. Try something new you’ve always wanted to do or get back to a hobby that you’ve always loved. Do something every day that makes you a better person. Get yourself out of your comfort zone, because that is where you are going to grow. Take a cooking class by yourself or take a solo weekend getaway. Stop rushing or skipping out on situations that help you grow.

The less time you spend forcing any relationship, the more likely the right relationship is going to walk into your life. If you’re wanting to meet like-minded people, join a social sports team in your city or volunteer for a cause that’s important to you. You’ll be doing something that’s bettering yourself, and you might someone with similar interests!



Strengthening your mental and physical health

Improving your health can be as simple as spending more time meditating or journaling. Focus on getting in tune with how your body should feel. That way, when you are in a relationship, you can tell if something feels off. Start being more present in your life. Talk to a therapist if that’s something you think might help you. If becoming stronger physically is on your New Year’s resolution list, then commit to going to the gym more and eating more greens! Bettering your health doesn’t have to be as intense as training for a marathon (but if that’s what you’re into then use this time to do that!).


I truly believe that love comes when you’re not expecting it, so be patient and enjoy the journey.