"Growing up, declaring your best friend was a serious affair. It wasn’t just a title—it was a commitment, sealed with necklaces from Claire’s in the shape of broken hearts or interlocking puzzle pieces. When you exchanged those “BFFs Forever” charms, you were pledging fealty for life, or at least until a new school year rearranged the classroom dynamics.
Adulthood may not come with matching jewelry to signify our closest friendships, but the bond of a best friend is just as sacred. Who else consoles you when your impulsive bob turns out more Edna Mode than Hailey Bieber and picks you up off the bathroom floor after a breakup? But sometimes, cracks start to form. And while no one wants to watch someone they once held so close become a stranger, it happens—often without warning or closure.
Below, The Everygirls are opening up about what they’d say to their ex-best friends if they had the chance. Some never want to cross paths again, while others secretly wish for a reunion. No matter how your past friendships have played out, keep reading for some painfully relatable confessions and the full stories on how these friendships fell apart.
“You are a horrible, malicious, vile human.”
Your friendship didn’t have to be a competition
Friendship should be about support, yet many find themselves stuck in competitions they never signed up for. There’s no medal or prize, but some ex-best friends seemed to keep score and silently (or not so silently) celebrate failures.
Olivia, 38, bonded with her ex-best friend instantly when they met at work. However, it wasn’t long before she noticed how critical the friend became of her with constant, snide, petty remarks. The friendship imploded in a massive fight that ended with blocked social media accounts and never speaking again. Olivia hopes her ex-friend has learned that someone else’s success doesn’t diminish her own and that she now celebrates her friends instead of preying on their downfall. “I hope you have healed. I hope you have found peace, security, and the self-confidence to communicate your true feelings instead of letting them fester and shape you into a bitter, jealous shell of a human.”
“Maybe our friendship was just not meant to last forever, and that’s OK.”
Many readers shared similar frustrations, realizing only in hindsight how often their so-called best friends masked insults as jokes. Real friends build you up, not tear you down.
However, Claire, 28, is still appreciative of her ex-best friend. They met through their sorority in college, and at the time, she felt fiercely loved by her. But that love couldn’t erase the constant competition she never wanted to be part of. Eventually, after feeling excluded and suspecting her ex-best friend was talking about her behind her back, the two simply lost touch. Still, she looks back on the relationship with fondness. “I am so grateful for having you as a friend during that season of my life,” she said. “Maybe our friendship was just not meant to last forever, and that’s OK.”
They don’t know if you ever really cared
Whether they never showed the same support you gave or you now suspect they never truly liked you, many responses revealed the harsh truth: The friendship was always one-sided.
Ava initially loved how her ex-best friend brought out a different side of her. But when she blamed Ava’s boyfriend for her drifting from church and cut her out, Ava realized it was never about support—it was about control. “You didn’t love me as me and instead tried to change who I was to fit your mold,” she said. “It was as though you were embarrassed of me.”
“I hope you have healed. I hope you have found peace, security, and the self-confidence to communicate your true feelings instead of letting them fester and shape you into a bitter, jealous shell of a human.”
Similarly, Camila, 30, feels her ex-best friend had no care at all for the hurt she caused her. Despite a friendship since grade school and living together, her ex-best friend gradually shut her out, except when she needed something, of course. After multiple attempts to address the issue, Camila’s friend moved out without a word, disappearing from her life entirely. “I hope she is never treated by someone the way I was by her,” Camila said. “It was so heartbreaking to have someone I once loved, trusted, confided in, and felt safe with completely turn on me and betray me with zero remorse.”
For some, this realization is ultimately freeing. Mary, 29, loved her friend when she wasn’t trying to impress people, but those moments were rare. She constantly acted superior and completely changed her personality depending on who was around. After Mary vented to the wrong person, the fallout ended the friendship, and while she regrets how it happened, she’s glad it did. It helped her see how “insecure” and “inauthentic” her friend had always been. Even in their late 20s, she still sees her putting on a show for social media. “Have a nice life! I think one day you’ll realize how miserable you are,” Mary said.
They wish you didn’t prioritize romantic relationships over your friends
You and your best friend may swear you’ll always put each other before significant others, fiercely proclaiming “sisters before misters,” “fries before guys,” or another equally cheesy sentiment. Yet, for many women, romantic relationships ultimately became the reason their friendships ended.
When Trisha, 29, met her best friend in person after following each other on Instagram, they instantly clicked. They shared the same interests, beliefs, and hobbies, and her friend was incredibly thoughtful, remembering every little detail about her life. But as time passed, it became clear that men were always the priority. Conversations revolved around them, and she constantly chose dates over friends. “I hope you find a man that finally makes you happy and can be your perfect everything. I hope he never lets you down and never gives you a reason to need your friends,” Trisha said. “When you look up and realize what you’ve done, you may find yourself alone.”
“Maybe someday we will reconnect, but if not, I wish you nothing but the best.”
Not every friendship ends in a big fight. Amelia, 30, and her ex-best friend parted ways after she felt isolated as the only single friend. With her ex-best friend more focused on marriage and starting a family, she was left out of the plans, and eventually, her ex-best friend stopped talking to her entirely. Amelia is heartbroken that she chose her husband over friends and wishes she could have made time for both. But even so, her message remains positive. “Maybe someday we will reconnect, but if not, I wish you nothing but the best,” she said.
Romantic partners may come and go, but friends will be there to support you when no one else does. Whether these stories make you rethink a friendship that’s become one-sided or remind you to prioritize the friends who’ve always been there, make sure you’re putting in the effort they deserve.
Their trust was broken beyond repair
Trust takes time to build, but some betrayals shatter it for good. For Michelle, that moment came when her college best friend, after helping her escape a toxic relationship, started dating the same man just eight months later. Now they’re engaged, but the friendship didn’t survive. Knowing her friend had heard every painful detail and still chose him made it clear she never valued the friendship the same way. “I won’t lie—there’s still a sense of betrayal, but more than anything, I find it almost laughable now,” she said.
“Our friendship breakup has altered how I’ve navigated friendships ever since and made me a less confident friend, so f*** you for that.”
These betrayals don’t just end friendships; they leave lasting scars. Catherine, 30, realized over time that her best friend had grown to resent her. When she learned her best friend gossiped about her behind her back, she attempted to address the situation multiple times. When it became clear there was no fixing what was already broken, she finally gave up. Looking back, Catherine realizes the signs pointing to a friendship breakup were already there, as she had treated other friends similarly. “Our friendship breakup has altered how I’ve navigated friendships ever since and made me a less confident friend, so f*** you for that,” said Catherine.
They can’t believe you ghosted them after years of friendship
It’s one thing to be ghosted by a Hinge date, but nothing stings quite like a best friend disappearing without a word. You’re left mourning the friendship, with no clue why it ended.
Kelly, 25, went through this when her high school best friend slowly faded away after getting into a relationship and only reached out when things went south. Kelly cherished their friendship, so it hurt to feel like she only mattered when it was convenient. “I felt disrespected, unimportant, and like I was just a placeholder in your life rather than a real friend,” she said. Without answers, closure feels impossible, but she’s done making space for someone who won’t show up for her.
Jessica, 34, bonded with her best friend during their senior year of high school through a theater group. At first, the friendship felt exciting and adventurous, but over time, she realized it was always on her best friend’s terms. She could dish out criticism but couldn’t take it, shutting down or punishing anyone who challenged her. “I have never had a friend who expected so much from me while simultaneously not showing me the same respect or support,” Jessica said. Tensions eventually boiled over, and they had a huge fight, but when Jessica reached out to apologize, she never heard anything back. “I hope one day you learn that the world doesn’t revolve around you, and you stop playing the victim. I hope the best for you, but one day you will need to realize that you are part of the problem, and your trauma is not everyone else’s fault.”
“I felt disrespected, unimportant, and like I was just a placeholder in your life rather than a real friend.”
After getting to know someone as intimately as you do a best friend, it’s unsettling that one person could end that relationship without even telling you. We already have to worry about dates ghosting, job applications ghosting, and now friends, too? If you’re struggling with a friendship, take this as your reminder: Communication is the least you can do. And who knows? Talking it out might just save your friendship in the long run.
They never want to see you again
Not all friendships end amicably—sometimes, you genuinely wish nothing but the worst for your ex-best friend, and honestly, we support that, too. Some of the most scathing responses are as follows:
Emma’s ex-work bestie always tried to appear perfect, but that façade was built on lies. After realizing her dishonesty and finding out she met with a shared enemy, Emma has just one thing to say: “It’s been a year, and I still really do ****ing hate you.”
Sophia always knew her ex-best friend leaned conservative, but in 2020, when she became active in social justice, the divide became undeniable. When Sophia sent a bridesmaid invite, it was mailed back to her—ripped in half. Shocked, she texted to express her hurt, only to be met with a block. “Look at where your politics got you, you ***hole. I wish you the worst,” Sophia would say to her.
Amy, 36, once loved how her best friend brought her out of her shell, but after her divorce, the friendship became suffocating. Judgmental about Amy dating again, her friend went so far as to send private texts to Amy’s ex-husband. “You are a horrible, malicious, vile human,” Amy would tell her.
As women, a lot of the time, we feel we have to be the “bigger person,” but you don’t always have to take the high road. Sometimes, the healthiest choice is cutting ties and never looking back.
They hope you’re happy now
When someone is such a significant part of your life, it’s not easy to adapt to the new bestie-sized hole in it. A common sentiment among The Everygirls was, despite all the drama, wishing them well.
“I think if I could talk to her, I’d tell her to take care of herself. After everything, I still hope she does.”
Lisa, 33, met her ex-best friend in second grade. They were almost like family, going on vacations together, living together, and keeping each other updated on every single detail of their lives. As they got older, life naturally caused them to drift apart, but still, when they did get together, it was like no time had passed. The real nail in the coffin of their friendship was when her ex-best friend started posting things on Instagram that echoed alt-right sentiments. When Lisa confronted her, urging caution about who she was platforming, she was immediately blocked. Despite the painful ending, she still hopes she’s doing well. “I vacillate between wanting to shake her and wanting to comfort her,” Lisa said. “I think if I could talk to her, I’d tell her to take care of herself. After everything, I still hope she does.”
Danielle echoed Lisa’s thoughts. She met her ex-best friend in college and thought they would be friends forever. Over time, every conversation revolved around the ex-friend, leaving Danielle feeling unheard. When asked for advice, anything short of full agreement was dismissed. “You belittled me and made me feel small. I tried to hang in there, but your unhappiness cast a shadow we couldn’t escape.” Still, Danielle wants her to find joy. “I hope you find healing and happiness in your life and that we may one day have a conversation of closure where we both feel heard.”
Even those who felt betrayed admitted they missed these friendships. Anger and heartbreak don’t erase good memories, and it’s only natural to miss what once was, even when you know you’d never re-open that door.
Editors note: Names have been changed to protect identities.
Lauren Blue, Assistant Editor
As an Assistant Editor for The Everygirl, Lauren ideates and writes content for every facet of our readers’ lives. Her articles span the topics of must-read books, movies, home tours, travel itineraries—and everything in between. When she isn’t testing the latest TikTok trend, she can be found scouring Goodreads for new releases to feature on the site.