"Leading up to the start of the Eras Tour, I think we all knew that Ms. Swift was gonna have something insane up her sleeve. Having a completely normal concert with no “oh my God” twists was never an option, given she truly is the most cryptically extra woman around (and I say that with so much love). So when Taylor Swift revealed she’d be doing two surprise songs at each show and that she won’t repeat at any other song, was I shocked? Not necessarily. But have I known peace since? Absolutely not.
Part of my morning routine now is opening Twitter as soon as I wake up to see if my dream of hearing “right where you left me” live has been crushed yet. I’m deeply envious of the crowd that got to hear “Death By A Thousand Cuts” and “Clean” on the same night. It’s basically like Swiftie Russian Roulette.
All in all, I find myself wondering several times a day what surprise songs she’s gonna whip out at the show I’m going to, and I’m sure many of you do the same. So like always, when we need a little guidance on what’s coming our way, we turn to astrology. After some deep dive research and intense album listening (she’s got over 200 songs, people), we’ve decided which surprise song Taylor Swift should play for you, based on your zodiac sign. Of course, we’re manifesting that you get to experience your all-time fav track, but these are the ones that you definitely need to hear, too:
Aries: “Better Than Revenge”
This song practically has Aries written all over it, and that is seriously the highest compliment ever given how much of a bop it is. Aries are naturally daring and bold, and always dive headfirst into daunting situations, so they’re no stranger to getting a little revenge when they need to. Fueled by relentless determination and a bit of a tendency to adopt an “every man for themselves” mentality, there’s no one I’d trust more to put a mean girl in her place. If I was an Aries getting to hear this song live, I’d feel like the baddest b*tch alive, and no one could tell me anything ever again.
Taurus: “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”
If there’s one thing to know about a Taurus, it’s that they have a taste for the finer things. And if there’s anything else to know about a Taurus, it’s that they’re gonna be insanely loyal to their friends and loved ones. So, is there really any other Taylor Swift song more perfect for them to hear? I don’t think so. Tauruses will bask in the lavish life (feeling so Gatsby, if you will) but will always make time and space to bring their ride-or-dies along with them to experience it, too, and will happily confront anyone trying to ruin their fun. Cheers to champagne and stomping on men that try to knock us down.
Gemini: “Paris”
The little gossip sesh at the beginning of this song is Taylor channeling her inner Gemini to a T. Being the epitome of a social butterfly who loves to romanticize the hell out of their life, Geminis really do stay stumbling down pretend alleyways, and will happily drink cheap wine believing it’s champagne. They’re also very open about their passions and endeavors but will keep the things that are truly special to them close. Plus, the actual production of the song just gives that signature upbeat Gemini energy.
Cancer: “Breathe”
Cancers have a reputation for being very sensitive, but their emotional depth and willingness to show someone how much they love them once their tough external shell loosens up is one of their most admirable traits. Because they embrace people so passionately, the end of a friendship or relationship can feel particularly heavy for Cancers. But, this is like a superpower; it’s better to feel anything than nothing at all. Taylor gives big Cancer energy in that sense, too. This song is also just so beautiful, and I’d fall to my knees if I saw Colbie Caillat in the flesh.
Leo: “Long Live”
Leos do in fact live for the spotlight and the drama, but in the best way possible. Their theatrical and larger-than-life spirits make them natural-born leaders who want to make a name for themselves. When you combine that with their ability to foster stable relationships built on trust and loyalty, you have to accept that this song is practically their anthem. A Leo loves nothing more than doing the most with the people they love by their side, and will cherish every crazy second they spent fighting dragons with you (cheesy, but true!).
Virgo: “How You Get The Girl”
Virgos approach life with a very logical and analytical perspective, which means they have a sixth sense of knowing somebody’s next move. This makes their relationships very straight up, with no kind of BS drama whatsoever. So, knowing exactly what kind of antics a man is going to pull to try to win them back is really just all in a day’s work. They’ll know that you’re coming to say, “I would wait for worse or for better” on their doorstep before you even know yourself. BTW, if “Mastermind” wasn’t already on the setlist, these two bops would be tied for the Virgo anthem.
Libra: “The Way I Loved You”
While Libras love nothing more than strong companionship, they’re also known for their tendency to be quite indecisive. With this testy combo, wanting to run back to that fiery first love even though your new relationship is perfect on paper is a solid reflection of a Libra’s everyday battle. Sure, your new S.O. gets along with your Dad, but don’t you just kind of miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain? Sigh. A Libra will hear this song at their show and definitely call their ex afterward (no shade—we’d all do it, Libras will just own up to it).
Scorpio: “this is me trying”
Scorpios are arguably the most misunderstood sign of the zodiac, mostly because of their tendency to be a bit mysterious and nonchalant on the surface. But underneath that, they’re actually incredibly empathetic, loyal, and willing to play the long game for the things they want in life. When they want to give something their all, they go further and give it 110%—even if they’re playing it cool. “I was so ahead of the curve the curve became a sphere” was Taylor giving a nod to all of her Scorpio gals, I think.
Sagittarius: “The Archer”
In astrology, Sagittarius is quite literally represented by an archer so…what did we expect? But seriously, this sign is known for its flexibility and adaptability to any situation life throws its way. However, this also means that they find themselves understanding both sides of a relationship or conflict a little too well sometimes, making it difficult to be completely sure of their own feelings. They’ve been the archer, they’ve been the prey, so who could ever leave them, but who would ever stay? Now that is the Sag experience.
Capricorn: “Picture To Burn”
A Capricorn is like your beloved BFF who will instigate everything for you because you’re too scared to do it yourself. Not in a bad way, of course. They’ll just say what’s on their mind and encourage everyone else to do the same—especially if someone did them or someone they love dirty. That’s why a song about telling off an ex in the coolest way possible is just what they need to hear. Capricorns also know how to have a good time and not take life too seriously, so they’ll be the first ones to blast this song and dance it out after a breakup over at a wine night.
Aquarius: “Nothing New”
Known for being the most intellectual, curious, and deeply intuitive of all of the signs, an Aquarius is definitely the most likely to relate to the sort of existential spiral that is “Nothing New.” They’re very reflective and do their best to try to navigate life while staying as genuine and grounded as possible, which is a very good way to be. But those traits also mean they face tough questions and realities head-on, which can be a tough pill to swallow at times. However, if anyone can handle it, it’s an Aquarius, and they’ll come out stronger and wiser than ever in the end.
Pisces: “right where you left me”
This one hurts to type because I myself am not a Pisces, but I’m being the bigger person here. Sensitivity is a virtue, and that’s something this sign knows all too well. It’s easy for them to be wildly overcome with emotions, which can make it hard to properly confront problems and leave them feeling a bit stuck (AKA, still at the restaurant in the corner you haunt). But, their inviting and gentle nature makes them receptive to advice and kindness, so a little push is all they may need to move forward, All in all, if blondie starts playing this one, hand your Pisces friend a tissue ASAP.