Confidence isn’t always loud or showy. It doesn’t have to look like having everything figured out, being fearless, or never doubting yourself. More often than not, confidence is built slowly and quietly, in the everyday moments that we choose to show up for ourselves. I’ve found that the best way to build confidence is through solo dates because, no, they’re not just about treating yourself to a coffee or romanticizing time alone (though that’s definitely a big part of the fun); they’re about carving out time to prioritize the things in life that are important to you and make everything run more smoothly, so you can feel confident about where you are and what’s ahead for you.
When you intentionally put time on the calendar for yourself, you’re committing to bringing to life the best version of you. You are also affirming to yourself that your time, energy, and life deserve attention—something all confident women can attest to. While it can be argued that any type of solo date can help you become the most confident version of yourself, there are eight specific solo dates that confident women keep on their calendars. From activities that help them feel more organized to ones that encourage them to step out of their comfort zone, here are eight solo date ideas that confident women swear by.
1. They take themselves out for “CEO” days
From budgeting and making sure bills get paid, to booking appointments and social planning, there is a lot of admin work that comes with the territory of being a functioning adult. It can be overwhelming, but confident women know that putting things off only makes them feel more frazzled. This is why they schedule “CEO” days, where they spend an entire day (or a half-day, depending on their schedule) to complete all their mundane tasks in one go—and they romanticize the whole process.
So, once a month, set a date on your calendar for a “CEO” day. Head to a coffee shop or make a matcha at home and light a candle, and tackle all your grueling tasks. Putting on the CEO hat and mustering up that “get your life together” energy will make you feel like you can do anything, no matter how dreadful. Plus, in the long run, it will make you feel more confident about all the little, non-glamorous details of your life.
2. They make a date out of wardrobe audits
Confident women not only love the clothes they wear, but also love how they feel in them. Auditing their closet seasonally ensures that this remains the case for them. They don’t keep anything that doesn’t make them feel like their most authentic, confident self.
At the turn of each season, add “wardrobe audit” to your calendar and turn it into a proper solo date by putting on music, pouring yourself a glass of wine, and taking the time to try everything—and I mean everything—on. As you go, edit your closet with intention: When was the last time you actually wore this? Did you reach for it the last time it was in season? Do you feel your best wearing it? Is it in good condition? Does it fit properly? Anything that doesn’t support how you want to feel can be donated (or recycled if it’s in bad condition). For the clothes that don’t fit quite right, consider taking them to the tailor so you can properly wear them and feel good in them.
If you have some extra time, build a few go-to outfit formulas you love and that feel like you. If you notice gaps, write down an intentional shopping list of the things you need, which will in turn help curb impulse buys later. More confident in your clothes and more in control of your shopping budget? This seasonal solo date will always be a win-win.
3. They have vision board nights
Women who exude confidence know exactly what they want and go for it. There’s no better way to see your goals and dreams clearly than through a vision board, which is why confident women always set aside the time to make them. So, take an evening to pour a glass of wine, clear a cozy space, and pull images and quotes that align with the season of life you want to enter. You can make a physical vision board with old magazines, a digital one using Canva and Pinterest, or even a notes-app list with paired imagery. The best part? You can add this date to your calendar as often as you want to, whether that’s yearly, quarterly, or monthly.
Once you have it made, place it somewhere you can see it every day. If it’s physical, frame it and hang it up, or if it’s digital, make it your wallpaper. Seeing it regularly will motivate you to take steps daily to be the version of yourself you desire. Even subconsciously, you may start to feel more aligned with the vision-board version of you.
“When you intentionally put time on the calendar for yourself, you’re committing to bringing to life the best version of you.”
Every few months, set another date to do a vision-board check-in. Ask yourself: Has anything come to fruition? What are some new steps you could take to make the ones that haven’t come true yet a reality? Is there anything on your vision board you don’t align with anymore? It’s totally OK to reevaluate your priorities, alter your board a bit, and move forward with positivity and grace. Confident women aren’t afraid to pivot when their original “plan” isn’t resonating with them anymore.
4. They have upskilling nights
Confident women are always finding new ways to invest in themselves, so schedule a solo date dedicated to learning or sharpening a skill that supports the life you want. Say you want to take a trip to Italy in a few years: It might be a good time to begin learning a little Italian. Or, if one of your goals is to become financially stable, watching videos on investing or reading books on money management can help support that lifestyle by supplying you with the practical know-how to get there.
And although it sounds super corporate, upskilling doesn’t have to do anything with your career goals. I mean, it totally can, but it can also look like picking up a new hobby that you’ve been wanting to learn, like crocheting, playing a new instrument, indoor gardening, or watercoloring. It can also look like learning a new life skill, such as cooking, swimming, or even CPR.
Upskilling is all about committing time to learning new things so you can continually enrich your life experience and become an even better version of yourself. As you continue to gain more and more skills, you’ll teach yourself that you can really do anything, as long as you put your mind to it, which will increase your confidence tenfold.
5. They take themselves out to dinner
Confident women aren’t afraid of being seen alone; They are always looking for new ways to strengthen their independence. Regularly taking yourself out for dinner dates is one of the easiest (and tastiest) ways to embrace being solo.
There is a quiet confidence in walking into a restaurant alone, asking for a table for one, and not rushing to fill the space with your phone. The truth is that taking yourself out to dinner is a way to treat yourself and enjoy your own company. (You alone are worthy of a nice meal!) And while it may feel intimidating at first, making it a regular thing will help you feel less scared and more empowered over time.
The bottom line? If you can go to dinner alone, you can do anything alone, which means not waiting for people’s busy schedules to open up to do the things you want to do.
6. They have self-care nights
Confident women don’t wait till they’re burnt out to rest—they make time for self-care so they can feel their best walking into each day. When’s the last time you really took good care of yourself? Not in a “squeeze it in if there’s time” way, but in a way that says, “I deserve to be taken care of.” Make it a priority by adding a self-care evening to your calendar and making it a commitment. This might mean saying no to plans, rescheduling a dinner, or choosing a quiet night in over being everywhere for everyone. Remember, there is confidence in knowing your limits and honoring that without guilt.
“The better you know yourself, the more confidently you’re able to walk through the world.”
Spend the night relaxing, sipping on warm tea, taking a dimly-lit everything-shower, journaling, indulging in one of your favorite hobbies, and watching a dopamine-boosting movie with a face mask on. This is all about making time for yourself every week without rushing through the process, and remembering that you are worthy of pampering no matter what’s going on in your life. So, think of this night as a gift to yourself for just showing up.
7. They take themselves out on money dates
When confident women think about their money, they don’t immediately break out into a cold sweat. Instead, they feel secure knowing they have a plan for every dollar they make. But this doesn’t come without practice, which is why they regularly set time aside to review their finances, and of course, romanticize the process.
We all know that money can be intimidating, but we also know that avoiding it only makes the anxiety louder. So, once a month or once a quarter, schedule a calm, judgment-free check-in with your finances. Review your spending, check your progress toward savings goals, and make adjustments where needed. Put on a playlist, light a candle, and look at the numbers with neutrality, instead of shame.
Knowing exactly what your financial state looks like will give you a sense of control, which will naturally carry over into other areas of your life. And while you’re at it, take this opportunity to learn one new thing about finances you’ve been avoiding, whether that’s investing, taxes, or credit basics. Over time, these mini money check-ins will replace money anxiety with confidence.
8. They take themselves out for yearly self-reflection dates
Confident women take time for personal reflection because they know that reflection turns experience into wisdom. They spend time thinking about their lives to extract the lessons from their successes and missteps, so that they can continue moving forward, without repeating patterns that don’t serve them anymore.
Once a year, take yourself out (or stay in!) for a thoughtful life review. Reflect on the past year, asking yourself what went well, what didn’t, and what you learned. Revisit goals you set at the beginning of the year and acknowledge all of the things you’ve accomplished and how much you’ve grown since. Confident women don’t pick themselves apart or get upset with the things they haven’t accomplished; instead, they look at themselves without judgment and consider it an opportunity to learn more about themselves. Because the truth is that the better you know yourself, the more confidently you’re able to walk through the world.
An easy way to do this is just by journaling about it. Once you’ve taken the time to reflect and celebrate your progress, you can move forward into the next year with intention. Though the top of the year feels like a natural time to plan this date, you can also schedule your annual self-review for your birth month, marking another year of becoming more self-aware, more self-trusting, and more confident about the direction you’re headed.
Lauren Barnhill, Contributing Writer
Lauren Barnhill is a freelance writer with a passion for all things fashion, beauty, home, and lifestyle. Beyond The Everygirl, Lauren has written for top outlets including Real Simple, SUCCESS, and BuzzFeed. She is also the voice behind Leisurely, a Substack newsletter all about living an unhurried, intentional life.
