Being the shy kid can be hard. You may have wondered if you’d ever be able to start a conversation with ease or stand up in front of the class to talk without going bright red — but by the time adulthood hits, most of us have managed to leave our awkward years of conversational trip-ups and eating lunch alone behind us.
Although being shy is rarely a sought-after quality, sometimes the least confident kids make the best adults. But being a shy child can shape you into someone pretty special. Here’s how:
You’re fine with your own company
Although those long lunch breaks spent alone might not have been much fun at the time, they can be good practice for adulthood. No matter how sociable you might be, there will always be situations where you find yourself alone. Perhaps you’ve moved to a new city or work in an unsociable office. Or perhaps you are simply finding that as you get older your friends are increasingly busy and your Friday nights are less booked up than they used to be.
Having been a shy child means that you are likely to be comfortable with your own company. You can probably happily fill a free weekend with a good book or box set and won’t have a problem with eating out alone.
Being happy with your own company also means that you will be open to opportunities that more extroverted individuals might balk at. Traveling alone can be an incredible and affirming experience, and you probably wouldn’t think twice about going to the theatre or a gig by yourself if no one else wants a ticket. Being shy as a child sets you up to enjoy the things that you want to in life, regardless of whether anyone else wants to come along for the ride.
You’re a good listener
If you were ever the person who would rarely speak out in a group, then you’ve probably been practicing an important skill without even knowing it — being a good listener. Those days of nodding along whilst everyone else got to the chance to talk will mean that you’re in tune to the dynamics of conversation and are happy to sit back and give others the floor.
Although it’s also important that you now feel comfortable turning the conversation onto yourself every once in a while, being a good listener is still an incredibly valuable trait. Your friends will appreciate your ability to engage thoughtfully with what they have to say and will know that they can always come to you when they need someone to lend an ear.
You appreciate your grown-up confidence
Whilst others might take for granted being able to strike up a conversation or confidently command a room, you will remember how difficult this once was for you. Even if being the center of attention still makes you squirm, you will appreciate your abilities to flourish in certain situations. Perhaps meeting a new person or articulating your opinion might be much easier than it once was. Or perhaps you’re now able to happily host a party or present at a meeting. Whatever kind of confidence you’ve found in adulthood, you can be proud of how far you’ve come.
You value your friendships
Being shy as a child might have meant that your friendship circle was small or non-existent. Although this can be hard and have lasting impacts, it will also mean that the friendships that you are fortunate enough to have gained as an adult are especially valuable to you. If these friends are from your childhood, then this is particularly true, as you will know that they appreciated your shyness back then and love you for you.
You’ve overcome a hurdle — and you know that you can overcome many more
When you’re a shy child, the thought of being a confident adult can be hard to fathom. Participating in simple social interactions can be agonizing, and your shyness might feel like a vast obstacle to living your fullest life.
If you’ve managed to gain confidence as an adult, then congratulations! You have overcome a significant hurdle and become the person that your shy self could only have dreamed of. Turn your knowledge into power and take this mindset forward into other areas of your life. If you can overcome your shyness, then you can overcome any other challenge that crosses your path. And that’s confidence far beyond being able to hold a good conversation.