"You only fully realize how much your 20s aren’t the prime of your life after you leave them behind. As much as I hate to say it, so many people view turning 30 as the end of their youth. But those of us who’ve actually made this jump between decades know that your 30s are when the real fun begins. You’re more confident, likely more financially secure, and seem to have this whole life thing figured out a little better. That 20-something version of you? She was really just stumbling through life, figuring things out as she went along.
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For me, my 20s were full of poor decisions—whether it was romantic, financial, career, or friendships, it seemed like I was always somehow putting a step wrong. I look back on that period of my life with the wisdom I have now and desperately wish I could go back and change things. But since that’s not an option, what I can do instead is try to heal my inner 20-year-old the best I can. I’ve been following a specific journal prompt that’s made a major change in helping me be kinder to myself.
“You only fully realize how much your 20s aren’t the prime of your life after you leave them behind.”
The Journal Prompt
Before this exercise, I never followed any guided prompts. Instead, I simply wrote down my stream of consciousness and caught my journal up on all that had happened since I last sat down to write. However, as I wrote, I realized that a lot of my old insecurities and regrets would continually pop up. Thoughts like, I can’t believe I dated him to if only I had stopped putzing about and saved some damn money kept popping up in each entry.
One night after rambling on and on for several pages, I realized that rather than dwelling on the past and things I couldn’t change, I needed to work on making peace with them. So I flipped to a new page and started writing a letter to the Garri I was a year ago, at 29. And then the following week, I wrote to 28-year-old me, and so on until I had written to every version of myself since I turned 18. Each of my entries starts with the following: “Dear Garri, you’re age-years-old…” From there, I write to myself with compassion, looking back on all of the things I accomplished at that age and forgiving myself for any missteps along the way.
How this journal prompt is helping me heal my inner 20-year-old
At first, this exercise felt a little silly…but I’ve always felt that way about guided journals (some days, I don’t have anything to feel grateful for, OK?!). But as I kept writing, I found it to be a very healing experience. By shifting my perspective from dwelling on the past to forgiving it, I found more and more peace with the adult life I’ve lived so far. Thoughts like, I can’t believe I didn’t have this figured out yet became every step you perceive as wrong led you to where you are now. Essentially, I started being nicer to myself and found peace with everything I used to regret. Now, instead of being haunted by my inner 20-something, I celebrate her and show her that she’s now (and has always been) living a life she can be proud of.
How to try this journal prompt yourself
Writing to your 20-year-old selves makes sense for anyone in their 30s who still have lingering regrets, but this prompt can be completely customized to where you’re at in life. If you’re 27, you can start by looking back on the past seven years. If you’ve just graduated college, you can look back on those years with the perspective of someone who’s now entered “the real world.” Maybe you carry some shame or resentment for your teenage years, so try this experience from ages 13-19. Wherever you are in your life, you can look at any age or experience with a different perspective, and heal a younger version of you to feel happier and more fulfilled as present-day you.
Garri Chaverst, Senior Managing Editor
As Senior Managing Editor of The Everygirl, Garri oversees the pitching, planning, and creation of all content. You might also find her name pop up as a contributor throughout the site, though she mostly works behind the scenes, leading the team in their creative efforts and ensuring they have everything they need to create top-quality content for our audience.
