"There are two types of people in self-isolation: those who aren’t thinking about sex at all and those who can’t stop thinking about sex. Luckily enough, you can be in either of those camps to benefit from boosting your sex life during this time. Sex can be stress-relieving, connection-building, and confidence-boosting—AKA it’s a great idea to get our minds back in the gutter while we’re dealing with the stresses of the world right now. Whether you’re isolating with your partner at home or you’re apart right now, your sex life doesn’t have to suffer.
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If you’re self-isolating together…
1. Change up locations
Don’t contain all of your sexual encounters to the bed. While we’re stuck at home, use the rest of your home to your advantage. The living room, the bathroom, the kitchen, the dining room, whatever rooms you have in your house—have sex in there, ya crazy kids.
2. Still schedule sex
Scheduling sex seems like it might be counterintuitive to keeping up the spontaneity while you’re staying at home all the time, but it’s still exciting for all the reasons I’ve already stated for why scheduling sex is the bomb. Knowing you’re going to have sex later makes getting through that 9am meeting just a little easier.
3. Roleplay
While we’re stuck at home, roleplaying during sex is a great way to keep things new without having to really change anything. The biggest misconception with roleplaying is that you need to buy dozens of costumes and wigs and outfits to make it work, but this isn’t the case. You can start with the basics: school girl with a basic skirt and blazer, nurse with a white or red dress, or just pretend to be a different person with a slightly different outfit than you’d usually wear (like in Desperate Housewives when Lynette dressed up as “Brandy” with her husband, and they had a phenomenal time). If you have costumes and wigs on hand, go right ahead, girlfriend, but they’re definitely not necessary.
4. Spend some time apart
Spending every waking moment with each other is bound to make you sick of each other, no matter how much you love being together. So, give yourself some time on your own. This could be doing your hobbies in separate rooms or masturbating on your own. When you do come back to each other, you’ll feel refreshed and ready to get back at it instead of feeling bored.
If you’re apart…
1. Sext!
This is a pretty simple one, but sexting doesn’t have to be sending nudes and talking about how wet you are if that’s not your style. Sexting gets a bad rap for being immature, but there are many ways sexting can improve and spice up your sex life.
Obviously, sending nude or ~suggestive~ photos can be a part of it. If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to show your face, and you definitely don’t have to show up-close shots of your lady bits. Never underestimate the power of a good lingerie mirror pic or a detail shot of your lace bra, your legs, or your shoulders (one of the sexiest parts of the body, in my humble opinion). Or go all in—it’s truly whatever you’re comfortable with that will be the sexiest! Your partner will be happy with whatever the heck you send them. And don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about sending nude photos too. If that is something that would turn you on, it’s not weird to ask them if that’s something they’re cool with. Just make sure to give them the same grace you would want if they were asking you the same thing.
However, sexting isn’t all about nudes. Sexting simply can be texting … about sex. It doesn’t have to be any deeper than that! Talk about what you want to do together, where you’d touch each other, what positions you’d try, how you’d initiate sex. The options are endless here.
2. Try actual phone call sex
The episode of SATC where Miranda starts having phone sex with a nice lawyer guy from Chicago comes to mind, but it doesn’t have to be nearly as intense as that (or it can be even more so—sexy!). Phone sex seems awkward; but remember this is someone you trust and if they’re willing to lay in bed and tell you everything they want to do to you, it’s not weird for you to do it too. It might be easy to stick to describing your usual positions or moves here, but this could also be a really simple way to really spice things up by describing things you’ve never tried before.
3. Tell them when you’re aroused
Even when you’re not about to sext, tell your partner that you’re horny and thinking about them. It’s sexy to hear your partner thought about you during their IG Live yoga class or while they were binge-watching Tiger King (however, if you’re horny watching that, we should probably talk). They’ll remember those moments the next time you go to have phone sex or sext. Hot!
4. Talk about your fantasies
Now is a perfect time to discuss fantasies each of you has sexually. Not only is this something you can easily have phone sex about (i.e. talking about having a threesome: what you would do, how it would go, etc.), but it makes sure once all of this is over, you have plans for how you want to reach both of your fantasies. If you notice that you have different ideas for fantasies, you have time to talk through them and discuss what it is you both like or dislike.