We talk a lot about red flags (and even beige flags) to have on your radar around here, but to be fair, not all eligible suitors are riddled with the worst of the flags. This might be hard to believe if you have had some not-so-great experiences in the dating world as of late, but I mean it when I say that there are still high-quality singles out there waving their green flag.
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I know that reality TV isn’t all that real all the time and that we shouldn’t compare our lives and relationships to the cast of our favorite shows, but if we can take anything away from the most recent season of Love Is Blind, it’s that Brett Brown is a perfect example of a walking green flag and that there is hope for all singles—as long as you can spot admirable and commendable qualities like Tiffany Pennywell did.
We paid close attention to Brett to learn what really made the internet start considering him a “walking green flag” throughout season 4, and now, we are sharing those green flags plus more with you so you too can spot you’re very own Brett Brown.
They are a really good listener
Brett put a lot of effort into making sure that Tiffany felt truly listened to and cared for—especially when she was having a hard time adjusting to their new life and the stress of wedding planning. For example, she mentioned that she was feeling “all over the place,” and instead of waving it off and saying something like “It’ll be fine” or “Don’t worry about it,” he consoled her. And after that, he planned a surprise engagement shoot to help relieve some of her stress. This is a perfect example of someone who truly cares for their partner and their feelings and wants to do what they can to make them feel better.
They speak kindly of and to others
Have you ever been on a date with someone and they start talking badly about their ex or someone that they know? It’s not a good look, right? There are always going to be people in this world that we disagree with or friends we aren’t close with anymore, but someone’s ability to respect anyone and everyone—behind their back and in person—no matter what happened, is mature and noteworthy. This also confirms that they will respect you, whether you work out long-term or not.
They actively work on themselves
We’ve all heard these sayings before: You can’t love anyone until you love yourself and you can’t pour from an empty cup. These both ring true when talking about how important it is that we take care of ourselves and work on ourselves so we can be better individuals and better partners. When someone prioritizes their personal growth (maybe through therapy or by reading self-help books) and makes self-care a priority (maybe they exercise, meditate, or have a strict bedtime routine), that’s a good indicator that they are willing to prioritize the health and growth of their relationships too.
They have long-standing friendships
Someone who has maintained friendships, especially close ones, for years on end speaks volumes about who they are. This means that throughout the different stages of their life, they have prioritized their friendships—supported their friends, celebrated them, counted on them, and moreover, that their friends have trusted them and liked them enough for all these years to return the favor. This is one of those situations where you meet their friends and they say to you, “You found a good one”.
They prioritize their finances
Sure, Tiffany teased Brett because he was bougie and bought nice things, but it was clear that he wasn’t maxing out credit cards to do so. He is successful and works hard for his money, and he is smart about the way he spends it. The last thing you want to do is get yourself into a relationship with someone that is foolish with their finances because whether you like it or not, that will affect you and your relationship. Someone who works hard and prioritizes their finances also prioritizes their future, and that’s a bold tally in the green column if you want to build a life with someone.
They’re able to have respectful disagreements
It’s unrealistic to think that you’ll never have an argument with someone you’re dating, but what separates someone who has a red flag from someone who has a green flag is their ability to have a respectful disagreement. This is someone who fully listens to your feelings, side of the story, and perspective instead of someone who talks over you, makes you feel dumb, and only wants to “win” the argument for the sake of their ego.
They make you feel cared for, respected, and appreciated
When you’re with the right person, you don’t have to question whether or not they care about you. Not only should they make you feel cared for, respected, and appreciated, but they should tell and show you—without feeling like they have to bend over backward to do so. If you feel like you’re not sure whether they really care about you, respect you, etc., that’s not the right person to be with. Call it cliche, but when being with someone feels easy and you can really tell that you mean something to them, that’s pretty much the best green flag that exists.