I have a very specific vision of what my life would look like if it was adapted into a two-minute movie trailer. I’d be played by Peyton List. August by my president Taylor Swift would be lulling softly in the background. Selena Gomez would direct (obviously). It would be a kind recollection of happy moments: dancing on stage alongside my best friends, acing that exam I studied for months for, falling in love, and catching the sunset on the Chicago lakefront as I finally found peace in solitude. But there’d also be glimpses of the moments, days, weeks, and sometimes month-long periods when I’ve been down on my luck, hurting, or feeling “meh” about life.
As I’ve worked my way through the changing seasons of my life, I’ve found that some periods are smoother than others. I’ve felt aligned with my purpose, connected, and on track. I’ve also felt disoriented, unsure of which way is up, uncertain of every decision that I’ve ever made, and out of place in the life that I’ve created for myself. Ups and downs are an inevitable part of life, and if you’re in a season of feeling lost, you’re not alone. Here are five ways to find clarity and reignite your fire:
1. Join a personal development club that’ll help you reflect, set goals, and take action
When you’re feeling generally unmotivated with life or a little bit lost, making those initial first moves to clarity and purpose can feel wildly overwhelming—especially when you’re not 100% sure of where you want to go. In times like these, joining a personal development club like Topknot is such a solid solution. With Topknot, you’ll be connected with a club of committed people with shared interests and you’ll have the space and structure you need to learn about yourself, make concrete plans, and take action.
Whether you’re looking to regain motivation at work, carve out a little more “me” time, or be less hard on yourself, there’s a space on Topknot for you. I am such a Topknot fan for a million reasons, but namely, I love that the service is affordable, accessible, and tailored to your specific needs. During my first session, I narrowed my focus to finding who I am outside of the career I’ve connected myself to.
I felt listened to, learned so much about how I felt as I vented aloud, and was able to debrief and come up with an immediate, tangible (!!) plan on what I could do that day to make steps toward rediscovering who I am. For me, that looked like scheduling in 10 minutes of each day of the week to do something that I love, prioritizing that “me” time in the mornings when I have the energy to enjoy it, and exploring hobbies that I want to invest time in. This “structure-without-pressure” approach is so accessible, especially if what you’re looking to address is a question as complex as who am I?
2. Have a self-discovery vacation (or staycation)
When was the last time you took a vacation with the sole purpose of doing absolutely nothing? Between the hustle and bustle of work, chores, and social gatherings, it’s super easy to get in a mundane routine where you might feel like you’re on autopilot. Take a day, a weekend, or a few PTO days to disconnect from the world, recharge, and reconnect with yourself. Carve out space to pick up that book you’ve been dying to read, finally do that brain dump in your journal, and reflect on your life and where you want to go.
3. Connect with an old childhood hobby
The further I get into adulthood, the more I believe in having a hobby to help me make the most of my downtime. As much as I love a good Netflix binge watch, I’ve found that I’ve been spending a majority of my time hitting “play” to escape my reality instead of being present and enjoying my life. If you’re looking to improve your mental, emotional, or physical health while rediscovering the joys of life, consider finding a hobby to enrich your day-to-day routine. And if you’re having trouble narrowing it down, go with what you know and look to your inner child. Whether it be dancing, doodling, playing soccer, or painting, reconnecting with something that used to bring you bliss is a sure way to make your life a little bit more well-rounded in adulthood.
4. Update your bucket list
When was the last time you took a peek at or updated your bucket list? Dream big and really explore the must-do and must-see things that you want to tackle in your future (both distant and near). Then, go through and sift out the selections that you can make moves toward right now. Whether you’re looking for a little bit of control over your destiny or simply want something to look forward to, getting creative and making plans for your future can help you continue on toward a life that you’re excited about.
5. Schedule in time to connect with a loved one you trust
When in doubt, phone a friend. Besides the fact that connecting with other humans can help boost your mood, improve your quality of life, and even lengthen your lifespan, catching up with someone you love and trust can be an incredibly therapeutic experience, especially when you’re feeling “meh” or like you’re in a bit of a slump. Whether you’re looking for advice, need to vent, or just want to distract yourself, reconnecting with your community can be a powerful tool for sifting out your own thoughts, releasing emotions, and increasing dopamine levels. Lean on your people—they’ve got your back.
This post contains a sponsored inclusion of Topknot but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board.