"It’s no secret that the dating scene is just as perilous as the job market right now. It’s an endless cycle: download the apps, swipe endlessly, go on a couple of first dates, get ghosted, and swiftly delete every dating app. Then, you find yourself back at the start, redownloading all the apps a few weeks later. With all the dating app woes, I’ll honestly take any excuse to tell the dating world, “It’s not me, it’s you.” Thankfully, an episode of one of my favorite podcasts, It’s Me, Tinx, gave me the validation I needed that it really is the damn phones ruining the dating scene, not us.
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In the episode, Tinx explained exactly how our phones, and subsequently the apps, have negatively impacted our lives. She then offers a solution to address the issue: having a “Summer of Outside.” Ahead, I’m breaking down exactly what the “Summer of Outside” is, why Tinx recommends it, how it can reinvigorate your dating life, and how to implement it starting now.
What is the “Summer of Outside”?
Annually, Tinx promotes having a “Summer of Outside,” which is a commitment to spending less time on our phones throughout the summer. This started when she realized how much dating apps were “killing us,” she says in the episode. Instead of getting “tripped up on whether a guy from Hinge is responding to you,” she encourages focusing on the world before you, “thrusting yourself into life,” saying “yes” to new things, and enjoying the summer away from the apps and our phones. Obviously, you don’t have to be in the dating world to benefit from putting your phone down, but committing to having a “Summer of Outside” can seriously open up your eyes to what and who else is out there.
What can the “Summer of Outside” do for your dating life?
Our phones have made our lives increasingly insular. Online dating has become the go-to way to meet a partner, but this reliance on the apps has cut us off from the vast dating pool right in front of us. Instead of doubling down on screen time with a premium dating app membership, the “Summer of Outside” encourages you to look up and give IRL dating a chance again. Your eyes will be opened to the fact that anywhere could be the place to meet a partner, such as at a new bookstore or workout studio. Hell, even the grocery store is chock-full of potential if you’re looking!
“You’d be surprised by how much is happening around you and how easy it is to engage with the world (and the people in it) when you allow it in.”
Remembering that your dating life doesn’t have to exist only on your phone can refresh your outlook on dating as a whole and romanticize even the most mundane errands. On a more practical level, it puts you in more situations where you’re likely to meet someone new. (With how my routine has looked lately, my soulmate would have to be my DoorDash driver for us to meet). By getting out more and enjoying the activities of summer, you might find yourself having your very own rom-com-style meet-cute.
More than that, the “Summer of Outside” is about putting yourself first and figuring out what lights you up—all of which can help you decide what you want from a relationship. That kind of self-focus makes you inherently more confident, fun, and magnetic. It can also help you shake off the dating fatigue you might feel from endless swiping and bring a renewed sense of hope.
How can you have a “Summer of Outside”?
According to Tinx, participating in the “Summer of Outside” is as simple as deciding you’re not having a “technology-based summer.” Of course, we all have jobs and responsibilities, and it’s unrealistic to ditch your phone entirely, but remembering that your real life exists in front of you, not on a screen, is key to making the shift. From there, it’s about stepping out of your comfort zone and implementing a bolder approach to living and dating.
Instead of sticking to your same everyday routine—going to the same coffee shops and workout classes, coming home and rotting on the couch, or heading to the same local watering hole—switch things up and take chances. If you see someone cute at the bar, start a conversation. Say yes to invitations. Spend as much time outside as possible (with sunscreen, of course). Don’t be afraid to do things solo. You’d be surprised by how much is happening around you and how easy it is to engage with the world (and the people in it) when you allow it in.
There are so many little ways to embrace the “Summer of Outside,” so if you don’t know where to start, try something small. Don’t put your headphones in on your next morning commute; just observe the world around you. And if you’re feeling particularly wild? Say hi to a stranger on the street. It’s really that easy. Does the “Summer of Outside” guarantee you’ll be cuffed by fall? Of course not. But I know I’ll be taking part in the “Summer of Outside” to give my dating life the refresh it desperately needs. Even if nothing romantic comes out of it, the self-discovery and sense of accomplishment you’ll feel from stepping outside your comfort zone will be more than worth it.
Lauren Blue, Assistant Editor
As an Assistant Editor for The Everygirl, Lauren ideates and writes content for every facet of our readers’ lives. Her articles span the topics of must-read books, movies, home tours, travel itineraries—and everything in between. When she isn’t testing the latest TikTok trend, she can be found scouring Goodreads for new releases to feature on the site.