"Are you questioning whether your relationship has reached the end of its road or if it’s worth saving? This decision is difficult for obvious reasons—not only is it emotional, but the fear of regretting your decision is real. Unfortunately, there isn’t a way to predict the future, and relationship advice isn’t one-size-fits-all. Your decision has to come from a true reflection of your feelings. Thankfully, there are a handful of questions that you can ask yourself before ending a relationship that can help you decide how you want to move forward.
Thinking through these questions can help you make a decision that’s true to you. And when you do that, you are less likely to feel guilty or like you made a mistake. This process is a way to guide you through a tough decision and come out with an answer you’re confident in. So, ahead we are breaking down the questions you should be asking yourself before you decide whether to stay in your relationship or end it.
Why you should avoid rushing into a decision
In these circumstances, emotions run high, frustration and anger can cloud your judgment, and even the smallest blip in the road can make you question if you’re meant to be together. To avoid making a rash decision, take the time to truly pause and reflect on your relationship. Understanding your inner emotions and having a clear mind is essential for leveling with your true feelings.
If doubt and frustrations are at the forefront, consider why you feel this way. What’s the cause of this doubt? Have you and your partner spoken about relationship issues before? Try getting a better understanding of where these feelings are coming from before initiating a conversation or cutting ties. Rushing into a decision and regretting it can lead to losing someone you love, which is the opposite of what you want.
25 questions to ask yourself about your relationship
To get a full picture of your relationship and where it stands, it helps to consider the following things: your emotional fulfillment, the communication and conflict in your relationship, your compatibility and future goals, the trust and respect you have for each other, and finally, your happiness and growth. Ask yourself these questions before ending your relationship to find out where you stand.
Are you emotionally fulfilled?
An important aspect of any relationship is the emotional connection you share. This connection is what brought you together in the first place, but is it still there? To get to the bottom of it, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I feel emotionally supported and understood?
- Have my needs changed, or do I feel unfulfilled?
- Is there any way to rekindle this connection?
- Is one of us more emotionally invested than the other?
Do you have strong communication as a couple?
Every strong relationship requires communication and uses tactics to work through conflict in a healthy way. Do you have this? If not, not all hope is lost, but you do have to know where you stand to know how much needs fixing. Ask yourself the following questions:
- How do I handle conflict? Do I resolve them or avoid them?
- Do I feel heard when I voice concerns?
- How do I manage confrontation?
- What do we usually fight about? Why?
- Do we communicate effectively?
- How often do we face conflict as a couple?
Additionally, these questions can help you recognize your conflict-resolution style, which may be a factor in your feelings of doubt. Understanding your partner’s way of handling conflict as well might be the enlightenment you need to grasp issues in your relationship.
Will you be compatible long-term?
Everyone hopes their relationship will go the distance, but it won’t if you and your partner aren’t on the same page about long-term plans and commitment. Unfortunately, despite a strong emotional connection, sometimes the compatibility of a relationship can be infected by opposing life goals and priorities. Maybe your partner wants to live in a small-town countryside, and you a bustling city. Or maybe they want kids, but you don’t. These can be make-or-break for a lot of relationships, so try to grasp if this is the source of your doubts with the help of these questions:
- Are our long-term goals aligned?
- Do I envision a future together, or are we drifting apart?
- Are our values similar?
- What aspects of life do we each prioritize?
- Are we on the same page about what our life will look like in 10 years?
Do you trust and respect each other?
It is essential that there is still a foundation of trust and respect coming from both sides of your relationship. If you don’t have this, you have nothing. (Harsh, but true.) Here are a few reflection questions that can help you decide where trust and respect lie in your relationship:
- Do I still trust my partner?
- Is there mutual respect, or are there signs of emotional abuse or manipulation?
- Does my partner value trust and respect?
- Has trust been a continuous issue in our relationship?
- Are there red flags I have been ignoring?
If there has been a consistent betrayal of trust, there may not be a way to gain it back, or it might not be worth it to try. If you feel like there are red flags that make you question your relationship or warning signs of abusive behavior, please confide in a friend, trusted loved one, or professional for help.
Is this relationship helping you become the best version of yourself?
The hardest thing to be real with yourself about is your own happiness. Maybe you consider your partner nearly perfect in all other aspects, but you just aren’t happy. And that’s OK. Maybe the excitement of a new relationship has burnt out, leaving things stagnant. There are a million reasons why you might feel like things are off. In order to know whether or not you’re happy and see a future together, ask yourself these questions:
- Have I grown as a person within this relationship?
- Do I feel happier, or has the relationship held me back?
- Does my relationship make me want to be a better person?
- Does my partner want to be a better person for or because of me?
- Are we a positive influence on each other’s lives?
What to do after you’ve made your decision
Hopefully these questions have helped you understand how you genuinely feel about your relationship. Once you’ve made your decision, emotions are likely to be high either way, and that’s OK. Whether you’ve decided to stay or move on, make sure to take care of yourself first. Have a self-care night to soothe your anxieties, or spend time with loved ones.
If you have decided to stay, communicate your doubts to your partner and make a plan together for moving forward stronger than ever. You never know; they might have a lot to share with you, too. If you have decided to end the relationship, recognize that you will have big feelings about it. Seek out the support of friends and family or even outside resources such as a therapist to guide you through these tough times. Remember that it’s OK to feel the emotions, even if they hurt. So cry, yell, listen to Taylor Swift—whatever you need to do to feel it. And then, we move on.
Breakup emotions are never fun or easy, but focusing on what you have learned about yourself through it is so valuable. During your debut to single life, take time for yourself to focus on personal growth. Maybe there’s a hobby you finally want to take on or a new career path you want to follow. Have a wine night with the girls, or take yourself on a solo date. Embrace this time in your life, and find your own way to true happiness and self-love.
Jenna Piotrowicz, Editorial Assistant
Jenna began working as an Editorial Assistant for The Everygirl in 2024. With her eye for detail, she assists the team with content creation, sourcing products and images, and works behind the scenes to support The Everygirl in uploading and updating content.