"Nothing says “the best time of the year” quite like fielding invasive questions from all of your relatives about your personal life—and more specifically, your love life. If you’re flying solo this holiday season, know you’re not alone in this exhausting narrative. Nearly 40% of U.S. adults are unpartnered and about half aren’t even interested in dating or having a relationship (according to a recent study), and you know what? We think they may be onto something.
Despite what the Hallmark channel would have you believe, being in a relationship this time of year may not be all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, there are plenty of reasons why cuddling up on your own during the holidays could be better for your overall mental health and well-being than coupling up, and there is strong science to back them up. Ahead, we’re pressing pause on the joys of a holiday rom-com setting and shedding some light on why you should embrace being single during the holidays this season.
You can focus your attention on friends and family
With more time on your hands thanks to not having to juggle a S.O.’s family, you can spend more time with your friends and family. This means that you can spend as many hours as you want with your cousins without feeling bad about leaving them to go hang out with your partner’s weird uncle, and it also means that you’ll have fewer obligatory parties to attend throughout the season as a whole. Take this as an opportunity to see your friends that you don’t usually get the chance to see (due to living far away or having busy schedules), and spend more time with the people you love (like your grandparents who aren’t getting any younger). Without having to juggle two families and social circles, you can focus your attention on your own, making this season even more enjoyable than it would be if you were stretched thin.
You’ll have an easier time avoiding common holiday stressors
Yes, being single comes with societal pressure to couple up (I’m looking at you, reality dating shows), but single people often experience less stress during the holidays than people in relationships. Those who are in relationships face pressures around meeting each other’s families (or splitting time between families) during this season all while dodging invasive questions like when they’re getting married or when they plan to start having children. Being single allows you an “out” from dealing with many of these scenarios and conversations—which is a blessing if you ask me. Additionally, you don’t have to worry about protecting your significant other from your conspiracy theorist cousin or whether you brought the right hostess gift for their mother.
You still might experience stress during this time (it’s the holidays, after all), but you can pick and choose the holiday commitments and people that bring you joy and jettison those that feel like an obligation. The ability to set boundaries you need to enjoy yourself without worrying about anyone else is the gift that keeps on giving.
You’ll have more time for self-care
Work deadlines, family obligations, extra expenses, and more add an immense amount of pressure to the end of the year, so any added commitments or stress that come from being in a relationship can eat into the little time you might have for yourself. Being single in this season gives you the ability to create your own schedule, manage other people’s expectations of you, and spend some time indulging in well-deserved and much-needed self-care time.
You can enjoy your time pursuing self-care rituals, cozying up with your TBR list, making a vision board for the coming year, exercising, and more—all of which can majorly benefit your well-being, mental health, and overall ability to manage the inevitable pressure that comes with this season. Take this as your opportunity to use any leftover PTO days you have and finally book that massage you’ve been wanting to book without worrying about what your partner is doing that day or if you have to rush to their work holiday party afterward.
You can focus on your financial health
While some people may view their single status as financially limiting, there are many instances where being on your own could be a boon to your financial health—and the holidays are one of those instances. On top of all the spending you’re already doing on your own friends and family, buying for another group of people (namely your partner’s family) can take a toll on your wallet. Not to mention, financial health takes on extra importance around the holidays when financial stress can peak due to increased spending.
Additionally, going into the new year solo allows you to focus on your personal financial goals. When you’re coupled up, your living situation, travel plans for the upcoming year, and more can be easily affected (for better or worse) by another person. While this isn’t always a bad thing, being single gives you the freedom to do what you want, when you want, on your own dime. That’s not to say that you can’t have that flexibility while you’re in a relationship, but your partner is typically in the loop with your spending and saving habits–especially if finances are combined.
You’ll have more time, energy, and money to focus on yourself
While the quiet that comes after the “big” holiday can sometimes feel like a letdown, it can also be a perfect time to take stock of the past year and celebrate your accomplishments. You’ve worked hard to fulfill your dreams, strengthen your relationships, and take care of yourself over the last year! This is a time to recognize your effort and commemorate your successes. Maybe that means you take yourself out on a solo date, buy yourself something special (like the necklace you’ve been eying), or book a getaway.
This is also a good time of year to set new intentions and think about what you want for yourself in the new year. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to set resolutions, but taking the time to consider what did and did not serve you over the last 12 months and deciding where you want to head in the new year can help you feel empowered about your future. And not having to take anyone else into account makes it easier to pursue new opportunities and take risks with your career or other dreams.