There’s something you should know about me: My partner and I moved in together after six months of knowing each other. Looking back, it was one of the most impulsive things I’ve ever done and could have been a total and complete disaster, but thankfully, four years later, we’re still going strong. I know firsthand how quickly living together takes a relationship to the next level, so believe me when I say that deciding to share a living space with your significant other is a big step forward, and it’s one you don’t need to rush. Now, you might be asking yourself how are you supposed to know how soon is too soon to move in with your partner? And to that, my answer is this: While every couple is different, there are some telltale signs that couples are either ready to move in together or they are not, and I am happy to be explaining them ahead so you can confidently decide whether or not you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level.
How Soon is Too Soon To Move In?
Living together before marriage is becoming normalized in today’s society, and a lot of that has to do with people getting married later in life. More and more people are focusing on their careers, traveling, or their dreams first. But this doesn’t mean that they aren’t dating or in serious relationships, too. Couples move in together for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with marriage, like saving time and money, for example, but as previously mentioned, it’s a big decision and there are certain signs that indicate whether it’s too soon or not to live with your partner and how long you should wait to do so. Ahead, we are breaking down the signs you need to know.
Signs You’re Not Ready To Move In Together
You don’t discuss finances
We know, finance isn’t the sexiest topic, but discussing money is something you should comfortably be able to do with your partner. If you haven’t had a “money talk” yet, it’s impossible to know if they are financially stable, paying off debt, or trying to save money, and those will play a big factor in how you handle living expenses.
You haven’t had a big fight yet
Whether you consider yourself still in the honeymoon phase or not, the harsh reality is this: It’s not always sunshine and rainbows, A.K.A kisses and cuddles. Fighting with your partner sucks, but you need to know if you can get through it in one piece before you move in together because if you don’t and your big fight ends your relationship, breaking up with someone you live with is complicated as hell.
You think moving in together will fix your problems
I hate to break it to you, but having keys to the same place won’t solve your woes. If anything, it might exacerbate them or create new ones if you don’t have a solid relationship to begin with. Here is a good example: If you wonder what your partner is doing on the nights they aren’t spending with you, moving in with them won’t make you trust them more.
One or both of you feel anxious about living together
Our Senior Managing Editor said it best: “You should never, under any circumstances, ignore a gut feeling.” It’s a life rule we all should swear by, especially in cases like this. If you don’t feel totally comfortable with the idea of living together or you sense that your partner doesn’t, then don’t. Wait until you’re both ready, or you might get caught up in forcing a relationship that isn’t right.
You argue often
If you had siblings growing up, you’ll be familiar with living with someone who you argued with all the time—even over the smallest of things. And if not, let me paint the picture: One of you forgets to unload the dishwasher, the other starts to bicker with you for being lazy, it snowballs into a whole slew of unrelated issues. Then, whether it gets resolved or not, you’ll eat dinner in awkward silence and go to bed reasonably bothered. This, my friend, is how you’ll spend your evenings if you and your partner already argue often.
When Is A Good Time To Move In Together?
You talk about your future together
When you’re with the right person, talking about your life together long term starts to happen naturally. Conversations go from “where should we eat dinner?” to “wouldn’t this be a cool place to have a rehearsal dinner one day?” And when you’re both on the same page and excited about what the future holds for you two, that’s a sign that you’re ready to live together.
You get along with each other’s friends and family
The sigh of relief is huge when you and your partner get along with each other’s friends and family. After all, these are the most important people in your individual lives, and if you see a future with your partner, these dynamics will mean a lot. Having their support can make or break a relationship, so if you have it on both ends, that’s a great sign you’re making the right decision.
You’re open about finances
Deciding to move in together comes with a lot of money conversations (groceries, utilities, rent), so when it comes time to move in together and talk about how you will handle those living expenses as a couple, there should be zero surprises. We’ve covered the importance of talking about your finances with your partner extensively, but long story short: Transparency is key. If you already have that, you can feel confident navigating your finances as they merge together.
You’ve traveled together seamlessly
If you are able to spend time in different places with no issues, you will be better prepared to move in together. You’ve learned whether or not they wash their toothpaste out of the sink or if they make an absolute mess of a hotel room, and if you’re cool with that, living together won’t be much different.
You’re always staying at each other’s places anyway
It’s time to move in together if half your wardrobe is at their place, you bought a second curling iron to leave there, and you can only count on one hand the nights you remember sleeping separately in your own apartments. With the amount of time you’re spending sleeping at each other’s places, you practically share a home anyways.
