At a party a few weeks ago, a new friend accurately guessed that I work in marketing after about 15 minutes of chatting. Sure, she said I “gave off an artsy vibe” and cited my curly hair as evidence, so it wasn’t the most scientific of theories. But still, I couldn’t believe she’d clocked me so quickly. While we quickly moved on to other conversation topics, she learned a lot about me in that moment. Someone in marketing is usually creative, organized, and good with people, and that’s me to a fault. Of course, some of these things are stereotypical of someone in marketing, but I’ve done my fair share of assuming things about people based on their careers—especially in the dating world—and I’m not alone.
A recent survey from The League revealed which careers are considered the most dateable, citing industries like education, tech, and healthcare—noting their approaches to stability, work/life balance, and more. Knowing what’s currently the most attractive, I grew more interested in the opposite end of the spectrum: were there any careers that people saw as “undateable?” I reached out to friends, colleagues, and other Everygirls on social media to see what fields turned them off to potential partners and why. Whether it was due to red flags from a past partner or their own assumptions about certain fields, everyone had lots of thoughts on what jobs are the least dateable.
How your career can negatively impact your dating life
I think we can all agree that someone’s specific job title doesn’t matter as much as the nature of their daily responsibilities. The League’s survey seems to echo this idea, as many responses shared that having career ambition and work/life balance make a potential partner more attractive. After conducting my own poll, a lack of ambition, balance, and similar factors appeared to be the primary factors contributing to someone’s “undatability.”
Factors like long hours, moving around a lot, or working in a high-stress environment may be a regular part of someone’s job. While these factors may not always be a bad thing, they can be a total turnoff to some. For example, a doctor who works 12-hour shifts may not have much room in their schedule to spend quality time with you. For that reason alone, they can be deemed “undateable.” Alternatively, some professions have less safety or stability, which often turns potential suitors off, too. Obviously, this is based on preference alone, but it is interesting to see which careers receive the most hate in the dating world.
Undateable careers by industry
1. Police
Law enforcement was overwhelmingly the top answer to my poll. Similar to the military, most people mentioned the inherent violence of the field, even noting that there’s a high level of domestic violence in relationships where at least one partner is a police officer. Especially in the current climate, cops appear to be people’s biggest turnoff. “The corruption and systemic racism [in law enforcement] preclude me from ever being interested in someone in this field,” admitted Adrienne, 36. On the other hand, Piper, 31, was a little more flexible. “As long as they’re in it for the right reasons, like creating change in the force, I would be open to it,” she said. It all depends on what you’re comfortable with, but when it came to dating a police officer, many drew the line.
2. Military
A large majority of respondents mentioned the military as an undateable career because of the violence that’s associated with the job. For Christina, 29, her reasoning boiled down to a difference in priorities with past partners who served. “There seemed to be a sense of ‘you can be who you want to be for now, but eventually we’ll settle down and have a family,’ regardless of my not wanting children,” she recalled.
Sadie, 23, offered a different perspective. “If they’re stationed in or deployed to a different state or country, why would I willingly enter into a relationship I knew would involve long distance?” Even if you don’t have a partner in the military, distance being a factor in your relationship will put it to the test like never before. Not knowing when they’ll come home or if they’re safe likely causes immense stress. But at the same time, a long-term relationship with someone in the military can offer stability in other ways, like benefits for healthcare, housing, and even education. You have to decide where your priorities are, but many people think the pros won’t outweigh the cons.
3. Finance
We all remember the trending TikTok sound from a few years back about “looking for a man in finance,” but maybe it isn’t as desirable a field as you might think. “Finance bros are former fraternity men that peaked in college,” joked Susannah, 28. “Most of the ones I’ve dated have been very self-absorbed and shallow.”
Lexi, 30, had a similar experience with a past partner working in finance. “I briefly dated a finance bro and got tired of him asking if I wanted to go out with his friends when they would just discuss the market and do coke in each other’s apartments,” she said. This might be an extreme example (even though I confirmed it very much did happen), but finance has a reputation for being a toxic industry. Between long workdays and extreme stress, it’s likely your partner’s job would consistently come before you.
4. Arts/Media
The entertainment industry always looks so glamorous, with its red carpets and award shows. But Georgia, 24, would stay away from potential partners in media because that’s what she does for a living, too. “I’m a journalist, and I would never want to feel like I’m comparing my talents to my partner’s, or like I could use them to help me write or edit something.” Especially in an extremely competitive industry like this one, your boundaries could potentially be crossed if the right opportunity comes along.
“Finance bros are former fraternity men that peaked in college.”
For Valerie, 28, dating someone who worked as an entertainer would also be a no-go for a much simpler reason. “The field is so unrelatable to me,” she said. But she also mentioned difficult hours and a lack of financial security as other turnoffs, especially for people just starting. It’s incredibly hard to “make it” in most aspects of the industry, and if one person in a relationship is supporting the other financially until they get their big break, there’s potential for extreme strain and resentment since there’s no telling if–or when–that day will come.
5. Politics
A person’s political values are one of the biggest tip-offs for whether or not you’d be compatible in a relationship. It wasn’t at all surprising that many people named working in politics as an undateable career. Lena, 29, named several downsides to working in politics in addition to a difference in your personal beliefs. “There’s lower and potentially unstable pay, unpredictable hours, public scrutiny, and the potential for ethical gray areas,” she listed.
Even if you align with someone politically, there are still many opportunities for conflict if a potential partner works in this field. “Things are so serious all the time… It’s hard not to always see things through a political lens,” said Phoebe, 29. “It would just make socializing and unwinding from work kind of impossible and dreadful.” While I believe everyone should be aware of what’s happening in the world around us, having that be the only topic of conversation would not only be a poor work/life balance for your partner but also exhausting for you.
6. Healthcare
Doctors were mentioned in The League’s survey, and it’s not hard to see why. People in this field are hard workers and passionate about what they do, which are great qualities to have in a partner. However, Caroline, 26, has had a different experience. “Every doctor I’ve talked to has been a fuckboy,” she answered. Surprisingly, that sentiment was echoed in a lot of my responses. Research has also shown that doctors and nurses have high rates of infidelity—maybe Grey’s Anatomy isn’t that far off.
But it’s not always the risk of cheating that turns people off to a partner in healthcare. They’re also known for having extremely unpredictable hours, which would put a strain on any relationship. Taylor, 26, named travel nurses undateable because of the nature of their job. “I’ve never dated one, but I’d imagine it’s difficult because they have to constantly be on the move,” she said. Medicine is a very noble profession, but keep in mind that each specialty comes with its own pros and cons.
7. Law
The League’s survey also cited lawyers as one of the most attractive careers, but it also came up frequently as a red flag. “Lawyers tend to argue like lawyers,” said Grace, 32. “They care more about being right than coming to a compromise.” They also have long, sometimes unpredictable hours and a tendency to bring work home with them. However, if they’re still putting in effort to see you when they do have free time, I’d argue that it wouldn’t be as big of a dealbreaker if I dated someone in law. You just have to decide whether those factors make them worth pursuing.
“Being a pilot made it easier to have affairs… he could go to a completely different state for a few hours and be home for dinner.”
8. Aviation
A lot of my respondents admitted that exes influenced what careers they considered undateable. But for Teresa, 34, her bad experience with a family member in the aviation industry is what makes her cautious of anyone working in the field. “My grandfather was a pilot, and he was the biggest red flag imaginable,” she answered. “I think being a pilot made it easier to have affairs because he could come back from faraway places without it being weird or suspicious. It was easier than risking being caught at the local bar with a woman from town—he could go to a completely different state for a few hours and be home for dinner.” Her assumptions may not be far off, as pilots frequently make the list of professions with high rates of infidelity. If you’re dating a pilot, just be aware of potential turbulence.
9. Bartending
It’s almost a cliché to fall for the bartender. In an industry where being charming can get you more tips, you can’t always blame them for being a bit of a flirt. But Alice, 22, finds bartenders undateable because of how often others will flirt back. “More opportunity takes someone with great discipline,” she said, and while someone who has that discipline is a green flag, the situation makes her uncomfortable enough to stay away. Other respondents in my poll also cited bartenders’ difficult hours as a turnoff. Some shifts can start around 4 p.m. and go into the early hours of the morning, which keeps them occupied during prime dating hours. It may be hard for a bartender to be free when you are–unless you want to grab a drink after work.
Why someone’s values matter over the nature of their profession
It’s no secret that modern dating has only become more difficult and materialistic, with seemingly endless profiles to swipe on and ghosting being far too common. Having high standards is completely acceptable, and if that means you don’t want to date someone in a specific field, you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. But while some people who responded to my poll had personal experience deterring them from dating in a certain industry, others appeared to be influenced by stereotypes.
Not every doctor is a cheater, nor does everyone in finance fit the “finance bro” image. It might be worth reexamining some biases. But each answer boils down to what a person values most in a relationship, whether that’s loyalty, shared beliefs, or stability. When it comes to finding the right partner, what they do for work shouldn’t matter as long as you align where it matters most.
Hannah Carapellotti, Contributing Writer
Hannah is an Ann Arbor-based writer with a bachelor’s in English and writing from the University of Michigan. Outside of The Everygirl, Hannah has written for The Michigan Daily, where she also served as an editor. She currently works at an independent bookstore and is interning for a literary agency.
