"There’s really nothing I love more than hearing people’s unserious hot takes on pop culture. Kim and Pete definitely weren’t dating as a PR stunt? Lay all your reasons on me. You’re a firm believer in the conspiracy that Harry Styles is secretly bald? Obsessed. Lover is Taylor Swift’s best album? Not gonna lie, you almost lost me–but I’ll hear you out for entertainment purposes.
Plus, you can pick them up at your local CVS right now!
But who would I be to constantly ask people their hot takes and not offer up any of my own? I definitely have my fair share, but there’s a certain one that’s been on my mind recently that I think everyone needs to hear: The Bachelor wishes it was even 10% as good as Love Island UK. To be frank, The Bachelor is God-awful, and Love Island UK is God-tier. That’s right. Wake up, America.
I want to like The Bachelor so badly, I really do! But the past couple of seasons are comparable to watching paint dry. The bachelors are boring, it’s painfully scripted, and the “juicy drama” that we all tune in for is subpar at best. Plus, I’ve never liked that it has to end in a proposal. This guy was literally just dating 30 women at the same time on national television, and you think he’s ready to be a husband? Please. The Bachelor arguably had its golden years, but I fear it’s time to enter retirement—and that’s where Love Island UK will save you. If I may, let me give you the laundry list of reasons why you need to turn off ABC, log onto Hulu, and start streaming this show ASAP:
The gist of it all
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, allow me to briefly explain. Basically, the show consists of a group of single, stupidly attractive guys and girls being put in a luxurious island villa to “couple up” with whoever they want in the group in order to remain in said luxurious island villa. Throughout the season, new islanders (yes, the contestants are called “islanders”) arrive to mix things up and make the number of people uneven, so those left single after re-coupling ceremonies are dumped and forced to go home.
While the objective is to find love, there is in fact £50,000 at stake for the winning couple, so you never really know who’s there for romance and who’s there to get their bag. Because the islanders are mic’d up 24/7 and sometimes rely on votes from the public to keep them in the game, anyone even alluding to the fact that they’re there for the money is unheard of.
During the day, quite literally all the Islanders do is chat, look hot, and occasionally partake in challenges that have absolutely no stakes whatsoever. The entire point of the show is to get to know the other islanders and decide who you see yourself wanting to couple up with, so simply “hanging out” is the name of the game. Sounds boring, right? Until you realize they’ve managed to find the most naturally entertaining people on the planet. Then it’s everything to you. It’s not scripted, and you can easily tell. Swallow that pill, Bachelor Nation.
Without further ado: Why Love Island UK is better than The Bachelor
1. British people just do reality TV right
Love Island UK is the original series that started the Love Island franchise, and in my humble opinion will always reign superior. To be fair, I’ve only seen the U.S. and Australian spin-offs—but they didn’t compare in the absolute slightest. Why is that? Plain and simple: British humor is just better. You’ll actually be laughing aloud at the Islanders’ conversations, which are all completely uncensored BTW. You know when you’re watching The Bachelor (or any American reality show) and all you want to see is the real smack-talking? You know, none of that “they said this to me off camera” BS? Well, quite literally nothing is held back on this show. You’re a fly on the wall to peak comedy and every drop of drama. The dream, really.
Also maybe I’m just an annoying American who’s a sucker for British accents and slang. If that’s the case, then sue me I guess. But the words and phrases the islanders use are one million times more entertaining than anything that’s ever been uttered on an American dating show. I don’t want to give too much away, so I’ll leave it at this: British slang has been permanently integrated into my friend group’s vocabulary because of this show alone (“geezer”, “on job”, “muggy”…IYKYK) in a completely un-ironic way. Do with that information what you will.
2. There’s a new episode every night. Yeah. Every single night.
I’m not being dramatic when I say the editors of this show are the backbone of the United Kingdom. We get six hour-long episodes per week, with a new “Unseen Bits” episode of bloopers every Saturday. You literally do not have to go a single day without it—which is a blessing or a curse depending on your perspective. For me? Biggest blessing of my life thus far. No more waiting an entire week on some over-dramatized cliff-hanger. This show is for those of us who like cutting to the chase like real adults. And of course, each episode is somehow always better than the last. The Bachelor could never, really.
3. The pot, without a doubt, is always stirred
Because the general concept of the show is very simple, it’s a little hard to totally appreciate its entertainment value without A) making this article 11 miles long, or B) just watching it for yourself. But, there are signature twists implemented into every season that are prime examples of the fact it really is so much more than hot people getting to know each other by a pool. Allow me to explain some of my favorites:
- Live Voting: Live viewers get to vote on decisions that play a huge role in deciding who’s leaving the villa next. For example, viewers will vote on who their favorite girl in the villa is, and the three girls with the least amount of votes become vulnerable. Then, the boys of the villa get to decide which girl out of the three is sent home. Backstabbing!
- The Heart Rate Challenge: All of the islanders dress up in sexy costumes and perform a dance/strip tease for the islanders of the opposite sex. The catch? They’re all wearing heart rate monitors, and it is revealed afterward which islander raised whose heart rate the most. So the person you swore you moved on from raised your heart rate more than the person you’re currently coupled up with? Drama!
- Casa Amor: A little over halfway through the season, everyone is usually happy in their couple and swears that they don’t want to date other people. So, the girls are sent to Casa Amor—a mini villa where they spend a couple of days with brand-new guys. Don’t worry, new girls show up for the OG guys, too. After a few days, the islanders reunite for a re-coupling and decide if they’re going to remain loyal, or pursue their new Casa Amor interest. Plot twists!
4. It’s just not that deep
Reality TV should just be fun. That’s it. Yes, the drama is obviously the main selling point, but it’s never been that serious. Like I said, The Bachelor ending in marriage? Clown activity. The controversy that follows the contestants for literally years afterward? Violently uncalled for. Well on Love Island UK, the #1 priority is just having a grand ol’ time. It’s not trying to be some soap opera, or swearing that the islanders will find the love of their life. Like I keep saying, it truly is just entertaining, hot British people hanging out in the best way possible. All in all, mind-numbingly brilliant. Cheers!