"Have you ever been getting hot and steamy but the looming feeling that your roommate or parents can hear you in the next room has totally ruined the mood? Um, hi, I have! In fact, the fear that my next-door neighbor or friends can hear me has taken sex entirely off the table more times than I can count. For many, it’s common to struggle to truly enjoy the experience when you’re worried someone can hear you. For others, it might be no biggie, but I bet their roommate hasn’t asked them to, ahem, *quiet down* yet.
But have no fear, there are ways to make sex steamy and quiet all at once, and it all comes down to finding sexy and quiet sex positions. Of course, the best positions depend largely on your preferences, mobility, and techniques you like, so there are no sure-fire positions that work for everyone, but there are places you can start and tips and tricks you can take into account before getting steamy. Ahead, we’re sharing our best advice as well as eight of the quietest sex positions.
4 Tricks For Having Quiet Sex
1. Play music or the TV
Background noise will help drown the sound of moans, heavy breathing, or bed squeaking. Not to mention, putting on a sex playlist can help you feel confident and sexy, and be more present in your body.
2. Use a gag or pillow
If you’re worried your parents, roomie, travel companions, or neighbor will hear you moans and screams, using a gag can eliminate this issue, while also adding new elements to the fun, like power. You can also use a pillow to muffle your shrieks.
3. Use (quiet) sex toys
One of the biggest sources of noise during sex is a squeaky bed. Playing with sex toys can reduce how much you and your partner(s) are moving and eliminate some of the creaking in the bed. There are vibrators designed specifically to be quiet, and toys that make no noise at all, like butt plugs, anal beads, feather ticklers, dildos, or masturbation sleeves.
4. Pull the bed away from the wall
If you’re worried about the bed banging against the wall, pull it several inches away. Alternatively, squish pillows between the bed and wall to muffle the noise and absorb the force.
8 Sex Positions That Are Quiet But Still Sexy
1. Standing doggy
Noise during sex often comes from furniture sliding against the floor or banging on the wall. Standing doggy can eliminate the force directed at the bed and prevent furniture from making a ruckus, while also giving an array of options for pleasure.
To try standing doggy, the receiver will stand, facing a wall, bed, chair, or table. The receiver will then place their hands on the piece of furniture, or the wall, and bend over. The giver stands behind them, with their hips pressed against the receiver’s butt. From there, you can explore digital, vaginal, or anal sex.
2. 69
Oral sex can be one of the quietest and sexiest positions. Typically, oral sex doesn’t involve abrupt, forceful movement—taking away the squeaking or banging on the bed. Not to mention, when you’re ready to let out moans, sighs, and shrills, your mouth will be… busy… doing other things in this position.
69-ing, is just like the numbers look. One partner lays on the bed or floor, and the other partner lays, or hovers, on top of them, head to toe. From there, you and your partner simultaneously perform oral sex. Alternatively, you can do this while lying on your sides.
3. Mutual Masterbation
Up next is a sure way to keep the bed from squeaking. Mutual masturbation involves you and your partner masturbating at the same time, typically while watching each other. Making eye contact and watching exactly how your partner likes to pleasure themselves can be a *steamy* way to have sex, connect with your partner, and even learn about their preferences.
Consider sitting on the bed or floor facing each other, with your legs spread. You might slide closer to one another and switch between pleasuring yourselves and lending a hand to pleasure each other. While this position might sound like the least contact, it can be heavy in connection, as spreading your legs for your partner and gazing into each other’s eyes can be vulnerable and build sexual tension. This position is also fantastic for using sex toys.
4. The Throne
Grab any chair and have you or your partner get comfortable in it. From there, one partner can sit on top and straddle the other partner. This can be a great setup for penetrative sex, allowing the person on top to bounce and ride the person sitting on the throne. Typically, this works best if the person receiving penetration is on top.
The person on top can also use the back of the chair for support by placing their hand on the backrest and leaning forward to put some of their weight on it. The person on top also has easy access to additional genital simulation while receiving penetration, or the partner on the throne can take this job.
5. Seated Oral
Similar to the last position, one partner sits in a chair or on the side of the bed. With their legs spread, the other partner then kneels between their legs and slowly moves their mouth to their partner’s genitals.
This position doesn’t require any back-and-forth movement that typically causes the bed to squeak or furniture to bang against the wall. The only noise to be mindful of is whatever is coming out of your mouth, and for that, the person receiving oral can use a gag or pillow to moan, sigh, or even scream.
6. Spooning
Ah, the OG, reliable spooning position. This position is just as it sounds. You and your partner can spoon while enjoying digital, vaginal, or anal sex. For receiving vaginal or anal penetration in this position, it is typically best for the giver to be the big spoon, so they can thrust into the receiver’s hips. Bonus: The receiver can simultaneously stimulate their genitals.
7. Reverse Spooning
Spoon, but this time, face each other. This allows you and your partner to intertwine your legs and turn up the heat. You can place your thigh between your partner’s thighs, spreading their legs to provide digital or penetrative stimulation.
You can also move your thigh toward their genitals, allowing them to hump, grind, and ride your thigh. With a little bit of lube, this can be wildly pleasurable for the person riding, especially if this partner has a clitoris.
8. Sit on their face
Yes, you heard it, sitting on your partner’s face can be quiet, discreet, and sexy. One partner can lie down on their back, ideally on the floor, to make it even quieter. Kneeling, partner two can straddle partner one’s head, slowly lowering their genitals onto their mouth. The partner on top can ride their partner’s face, and even maintain some control over exactly where the stimulation is being delivered by moving their hips.
While the fear of your friends, roomies, or family hearing you have sex can be a big turn-off, if you’re eager to get it on, there are things you can do to make sex steamy and quiet. Remember to incorporate the tips and tricks, and start by picking a position that sounds the most comfortable and enjoyable to you. Make modifications that work for your body, and keep in mind that the best sex positions are the ones that feel most pleasurable to you.