I went on a date last weekend. Things happened.
Said date has me feeling happier and brighter than ever. I’m playing “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes on repeat, dancing around my apartment, wearing all those date clothes I bought for an eventual lover. And I want everyone else to experience this bliss as fast as possible! Whether you’re having sex on the first date or you’re waiting until marriage, there’s nothing like the feeling of a little crush, and who’s to say that crush doesn’t eventually develop into something else? (I’m talking sex here, people. I know it’s cuffing season, but that’s not where our head’s at.)
Good sex can do a whole lot for you, and everyone should be able to feel that if they’re a consenting sexual adult. But whether you’re in a relationship or having casual sex, it’s not always so easy to go about increasing the number of days in a month you get it on. We’re changing that, giving you tons of ways to have more (and better) sex this month. Get excited!
1. Go on more dates
Crack open the Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel — whatever app the kids are using these days — and ask someone out! You don’t have to talk to someone for three weeks before you go on a date, and you don’t have to have some earth-shattering connection to set up a time to meet up. Sometimes, the most unlikely people become potential suitors. Be open to meeting new people.
2. Let go of societal ideas
I told my aunt that I went on a date, and she told me that not sleeping with him would make it last. Love you Aunt Lil, but it’s not 1945 anymore. Get rid of those ideas that you have to wait until the third date or shouldn’t hook up with someone the first time you hang out. If you’re feeling it and are comfortable having sex with someone from the get-go, don’t let old ideas get into your head. It’s 2019 — do what you want with your own body.
3. Buy sex toys
Whether you’re inviting sex toys into your relationship or just using them on yourself, they seriously know how to get you in the mood. Sometimes, using a new sex toy (such as a vibrator) gets you back into the swing of things and makes you interested and excited to meet someone new (or maybe just enjoy some alone time with whatever you’ve decided to name yours — Jon is a great name, after Jon Haam, of course).
If you’re adding a sex toy to your relationship, it might bring back the spark. It’s so easy to get in a rut with your significant other, and while it’s not wrong to have a routine, adding a little something to the mix can give you the excitement you needed to go from once a week to every other night.
Trying new things in the bedroom could get you excited to try even more new things, and in turn, get you and your partner into bed much more often. Give something new a try that you wouldn’t normally do — whether it’s a new location, toys (read above!), a kink or fetish you’ve talked about, or just a new position.
5. Schedule it
While scheduling sex can have a bad wrap, it can be a good way to up your sex life a little. Seeing “sex” (or whatever indicator you chose — I vote for a nice heart emoji!) on the calendar in the morning is only going to get you pumped for your after-work festivities.
6. Get off your phone
If you and your partner live together, put your phone away before bed. I shouldn’t have to tell you why this works — just listen to me.
7. Buy your own condoms
Listen up, ladies: you should be providing the condoms too. Don’t put the pressure on your partner to always have the rubbers when it’s time for sex. Keep condoms in your nightstand too, and remember to bring your own on all those dates you go on this month!
8. Make a game of it
Get in a different routine than usual by making it a challenge to have sex every day for as long as you can. Whether you start off with three days in a row or try to go for a full week, try keeping it up as long as possible. You’ll have to get creative and try some new things, but that’s what we’re aiming for, right?
9. Go to bed early
Along with unplugging before bed, try to hit the hay earlier, giving you two more time for yourselves!
10. Skip the Netflix
Instead of falling asleep to the same show you’re watching every night, diversify your viewing pleasures (that was such a great pun, y’all). Watching porn with your significant other can be a great way to see what both of you are into without having to awkwardly explain it. It also might give you new ideas to try.
11. Make a sex position bucket list
Along with having a sexual bucket list (which we totally recommend), talk with your partner about the positions you want to try or add to your usual routine. Scour the web for new ideas, watch some porn (again, see above!), talk it out — you never know what you might come up with when you two put your heads together.
12. Don’t be afraid of quickies
Sex doesn’t have to be in a bed lined with lit candles and rose petals. Sex can be just as exciting when it’s out of the blue or spontaneous and doesn’t go all night long. Try having sex in the morning instead of at night or right after work. It doesn’t have to go hours to be fun for both of you.