"Can the way you decorate your bedroom affect your romantic life? You bet it can. It’s no secret that romance and intimacy are about more than the act of having sex. Everything from a stressful day at work to the way your socks feel on your feet can affect how ready you are to get down and dirty. The bedroom is where we are most intimate and vulnerable with our partners—physically and emotionally—so creating a sanctuary for those moments is imperative. I’m an intimacy coordinator by trade, so I spend countless hours a week dreaming up lighting cues, camera angles, and decor choices to achieve maximum and consent-based intimacy fit for a movie screen. It’s time to do the same in our very own bedrooms. Ahead, I’m sharing how you can create a romantic bedroom with just six easy tips.
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1. Dim the Lights
When in doubt, dim the lights. This seems simple, but there is truly nothing like harsh, bright overhead light to kill the vibe of romance immediately. There’s a reason so many rom-com montages opt for barely visible shadows through the window–everyone feels good in warm light. Options like lamps, Christmas lights, and fireplaces are brilliant ways to warm up chilly nights and bathe your bedroom in hues that make you feel sexy and sultry. Enough with the overhead lights sending bat signals! Candlelight is my personal go-to—the soft flame feels flattering and empowering when it comes to getting in the mood. Choosing the right lighting can be a fun date activity as well, mixing and matching to create a cozy, romantic feel.
2. Clean up your space
It is a constant fight for me to keep the bedroom clean. The last thing I want to do after a long day is fold my laundry, so I get it. Take a note from your favorite steamy scene, though, and ditch the clutter. Messy bedrooms are linked to higher cortisol levels in the body and mind, increasing anxiety and stress—which are less than desirable feelings when you’re hoping to spend some quality time between the sheets. Doing a deep clean and removing all unnecessary trinkets and no-mate-socks from your bedroom is a great and free way to boost the romantic appeal immediately. If it isn’t necessary for your daily or nighttime routine, doesn’t spark joy, or even relate to a shared positive experience, it can live in another room.
3. Lean into scent
Scent is crucial when it comes to romance, intimacy, and comfortability, and arguably the most personal of the senses. While some smells are pretty universal (think clean laundry, coffee), others are extremely context-specific if they are closely linked to memory. Examples of general romance-evoking scents are saffron, ylang-ylang, rose, vanilla, and jasmine among others. Candles, incense, and oil diffusers are all perfect options to begin experimenting with bedroom fragrances and can be changed and combined for maximum effect. Because scent is deeply dependent on each individual, crafting a specific association with your partner can help you and your partner relax and boost desire the moment you enter your romantic bedroom. Personal fragrance goes a long way, too! Do you associate a specific perfume with your partner? Does a whiff of that certain cologne remind you of your old flame? Establishing a signature scent can help keep the association of intimacy alive, both in and out of the bedroom.
4. Upgrade your bedding
One of the quickest ways to refresh and add romance to your bedroom is by leveling up your bed set. Texture and color are huge when it comes to psychology, influencing our thoughts and choices more than we realize. For example, neutral and warm colors like red, orange, and skin tones can evoke feelings of excitement and passion, whereas cooler colors like blue and green promote calmness and relaxation. What are you looking for in your sex life at the moment? To connect and relax together on a deeper level? Try blue. To boost your confidence and passion? Try pink or red. Opting for silky or satin sheets can also give that extra oomph of sensation to body and mind. Making these subtle color and texture changes can overhaul the intimacy of your bedroom by relying on visual and tactile cues that make it easier to slip into a sexy headspace with your partner.
5. Give your walls a moody makeover
Wall color can make or break a space, so if you want your room to feel moody and sexy, try a deeper color like plum or navy blue. If you’d prefer that your room feel like it’s straight out of a dream sequence, try a lighter shade such as rose or light blue. Many people shy away from dark wall colors for fear of making the space feel smaller, but they truly shouldn’t. In fact, a black accent wall may just be the sexy, bold change you need. The color black screams luxury and can make a space feel impossibly romantic (especially with some dim, warm lighting, hello!!) While color psychology is a science, it isn’t a one-size-fits-all. This will look different on you depending on personal preferences and desire style. Feel free to play with stick-on wallpaper and look for inspiration until you find what works best for you to create a romantic bedroom.
6. Remove electronics
I know you don’t want to hear this, but leaving your electronics in another room will do you some good. My partner and I both use our phones as alarms, and I sometimes need to wind down with a few good TikToks or Instagram scrolls. When it comes to getting intimate though, the texts can wait. We’ve implemented a strict “no-phones” date night once every few weeks that allows us to connect on a deeper level without worrying about our outside responsibilities, and it has deepened our connection. Not only does it force you to focus on connecting with your partner emotionally and physically, but it also creates a safe space to discuss boundaries and fantasies and let loose fully. With no text chimes, email notifications, or newsworthy updates to distract you, your bedroom can truly become a private oasis.
Sydney Cox, Contributing Sex & Relationships Writer
Sydney Cox is a Chicago-based writer and intimacy coordinator who is passionate about exploring the complexities of human connections and teaching readers to advocate for themselves. Sydney’s work has been featured in various publications, where they aim to foster open and honest conversations.