In my humble opinion, the act of sitting on your couch with a glass of wine in one hand, a cracker topped with bougie cheese in the other, and one of the many wildly entertaining yet arguably horrible reality shows the world has to offer playing on the TV is a truly unmatched human experience. Once I discovered this simple luxury, I started binge watching each one I could think of—and yet, I still haven’t gotten through a fraction of everything out there. The possibilities are truly endless, so if you’re not quite as willing to spend as much time as I am finding something you just can’t turn off, your zodiac sign can help keep the selection process short. Read on to see exactly which reality shows align with your stars:
Aries: Survivor
Where to watch: Hulu
I’d bet my first born child that at least half of the contestants that have been on this show are Aries (do NOT come at me with proper stats…you get what I’m going for). Known for their boldness, ambition, desire to come out on top, and tendency to sometimes do before they think, any Aries will be on the edge of their seat during each episode while thinking, “Oh yeah, I could totally do that.” The “that” being surviving in the wild for 60 days with no guaranteed food or water…more power to ya’ll!
Taurus: Selling Sunset
Where to watch: Netflix
To be frank, this show is a God-send to any reality show connoisseur like myself, or just for anyone looking to be entertained by the world of LA drama. But, no one will appreciate this masterpiece of media quite like a Taurus. Because their ideal state is that of relaxed luxury, they’ll drool over these houses being sold that feel more like lavish sanctuaries than normal homes. But, like the women of the Oppenheim group, a Taurus knows they must work hard and save up to achieve what they want, and to sustain their beloved ways of living.
Gemini: Big Brother
Where to watch: Paramount+
It’s the debate of all debates in the world of astrology: are Geminis really two-faced, or are they just so adaptable to their environments that it makes other signs jealous? Regardless of which side you’re on, I think we can all agree that this trait will get them far in a season of Big Brother—the absolute OG of competition reality shows. If you haven’t seen it, it’s basically a contest where being likable, witty, sociable, and calculated (the truth hurts) will get you crowned as the winner, AKA everything a Gemini is known for.
Cancer: Love Is Blind
Where to watch: Netflix
The entire point of this show is to find love solely based on emotional connection; it’s got Cancer written all over it. Having to dive straight into the deep, juicy details of your life is what they’re all about—skip the small talk, skip the judgy approaches, skip the BS, baby! But, while they’re the first to wanna hear about all of your baggage and skeletons, Cancers tend have some built up walls and can be the quite the tough cookie to crack when it comes to forming a close bond, so a LIB moment could be the inspo for opening up that they need.
Leo: The Kardashians
Where to watch: Hulu
Congrats, Leos. You got it: the big daddy of reality shows—the creme de la creme, if you will. You owe this utmost honor to your theatrical way of living (have you seen Kim’s Oscar-worthy reaction to losing her diamond earring in the ocean?), your habit of leaning into drama-fueled relationships (Hello, Khloe and Tristan), and your die-hard belief that you really are the main character. Hey, Kylie herself is a Leo, and no one fits the type quite like she does. We think you were practically born to be the the honorary 6th sister of the Kardashian-Jenner clan…bible.
Virgo: The Circle
Where to watch: Netflix
You’re logical, you’re practical, you take in information quite literally like a computer—oh, you’re a Virgo? Makes sense. And it makes even more sense to feel like you’d be the perfect contestant while you’re watching The Circle. In a game where sticking to the facts and details of your online persona is everything, there’s no room for slip ups driven by emotional outbursts and reasoning (Cancers, look away), which is right up a Virgo’s alley. We’re not saying you’re heartless, but we are saying that your analytical side would totally pull through to get you the grand prize.
Libra: America’s Next Top Model
Where to watch: Hulu
I am being so serious when I say that ANTM and Libras were the pair that immediately came to mind when I started piecing this article together, as they’re basically a match made in heaven. If there’s two things about this sign, its A) their exquisite, timeless taste making them appreciative of all things high art, and B) wanting fashionable partners who make for some lovely eye candy. With all things considered, could you possibly think of a better option than one of the most beloved reality shows ever that just happens to be all about high-fashion modeling? Yeah, I can’t either.
Scorpio: Too Hot to Handle
Where to watch: Netflix
We’ve all been seduced and intrigued by someone who has that mysterious, “I-just-need-to-know-more” hotness to them, and there’s a pretty good chance that person was a Scorpio. What better type of person to cast on Too Hot to Handle? A little lesser known fact about this sign is that out of all 12 zodiacs, they are most closely associated with sex, making a highly sexual show the obvious choice to add to their watch list.
Sagittarius: The Real Housewives of New York
Where to watch: Peacock
With an immensely dynamic blend of traits, habits, strengths, weaknesses, and desires, it is safe to say that there truly is no other sign quite like the Sag. And in my once again humble opinion, there really is no other show like the RHONY. As a Sag myself, this pick might be a little biased on my end. I just couldn’t help but equate the one-of-a-kind flare (like the Kardashians, they’re a true OG) the Housewives franchise brings to my sign. In my defense, a Sagittarius is also widely known for their brutal honesty and hilarious personality (not to toot my own horn too much), and the RHONY is far from lacking those two components.
Capricorn: Love Island UK
Where to watch: Hulu
Almost every contestant that has ever graced the villa is a proudly self-proclaimed party animal, and a Capricorn’s rebellious, untamed spirit will make them fit in just swimmingly. Even though this trait could help them blend in with the islanders, it’s also perfect for being able to open up to all of the contestants to explore all possible love connections. Any Capricorn tuning in will be convinced they’d thrive on this show, and will in-turn definitely convince you that they would just always be coupled-up with their number one choice.
Aquarius: Queer Eye
Where to watch: Netflix
With the Aquarius being known as the progressive humanitarian among all of the signs, one of the most heart-felt, uplifting, inclusive reality shows out there feels like the most fitting choice. With a genuine goal of leaving the world a better place than they found it, the only thing that could make the Fab Five even stronger is adding this sign into the mix to make the Sexy Six. An Aquarius will watch a couple episodes, feel instantly inspired and motivated, and then get up to go keep making positive change themselves.
Pisces: The Bachelorette
Watch it on: Hulu
Even though you’re most likely familiar with one of the most acclaimed reality shows ever, the entire concept of this show can be summarized as follows: “Okay, I really like them, but would I actually do well with them in the real world? Ugh, I don’t know—I guess I’ll just cry until I do.” Coincidentally, this also sums up the general life experience of many, many Pisces: creating a divide between ideal scenarios and reality, fueled by their emotions always running high. Don’t worry, this isn’t a bad thing at all—it just highlights how empathetic, compassionate, and hopeful they can be. A pisces will be undoubtedly be on the edge of their seats out of second-hand stress and excitement watching the rose ceremony go down.
