"Shower sex. It’s hot, it’s steamy, and it’s wet—the perfect element for an erotic endeavor, right? Well…yes and no. Shower sex can be incredibly intimate, sexy, and hot, but without the right techniques, it can actually be…a dud.
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I remember watching steamy shower sex scenes in movies when I was young and thinking it was the *ultimate* way to bang. So when I tried shower sex for the first time, I had my hopes up. This was going to be it, I thought. The steamiest sex I’ve had.
I was very confused when it panned out to be nothing like I expected. It was…awkward, to say the least. It was hard to find a position that worked for my partner and me. I was afraid of falling, and my biggest mistake was thinking that warm water makes skin slippery (it doesn’t).
While shower sex surely isn’t for everyone, a lot of people aren’t aware of a few simple techniques that can make shower sex *actually* steamy, wet, and hot. Because yes, it is possible. Follow along for our pro tips on how to have more sex that’s enjoyable in the shower.
The benefits of shower sex
It adds novelty
I spoke with Sex Educator and Coach, Veronica Dress, about shower sex, and she said that “with shower sex, you’ve added a literal new element to the dynamic, which can add a fun new sensation.” Experimenting with hot, cold, or simply the feeling of water hitting specific parts of your body can add new stimulation and novelty—an important element of good sex.
Shower sex helps you discover more pleasure
Because not all of the activities and positions you typically enjoy are available to you, shower sex can be the “perfect place to try prioritizing what feels enjoyable over what it’s ‘supposed to be like,’” says Dress. You might not be able to have penetrative sex, for example, or sixty-nine. For some, shower sex might be too limiting, especially if you have mobility or balance issues. For others though, shower sex can help you think outside the box and discover new techniques, positions, and intimacy (more on that later).
It’s an easy clean-up
Whether you’re having period sex, or squirting and ejaculation are involved, shower sex makes for a very easy cleanup. Not just that, but it can also be the perfect way to get clean before sex (while also getting turned on). This is especially useful if you’re trying anal play or having period sex (which also has its own health benefits!)
It can add laughter
OK, OK, I know this might sound simple, but let’s face it, shower sex can take a lot of trial and error. While mainstream media typically doesn’t see troubleshooting as “sexy,” it can actually create laughter and build intimacy and connection. In fact, Dress says laughter can increase pleasure and the connection to your brain. I personally love when my partner and I are stumped as to how to make a position work. It makes me laugh which gets me out of “performance mode” and helps me see sex as fun and playful.
Tips for safe and satisfying shower sex
Get a non-slip shower mat
I truly cannot stress this enough. While water doesn’t make your skin slippery, it does make the floor slippery, and this can be dangerous without the proper safety precautions. Use a non-slip bath mat so that you and your partner have secure footing and don’t have to worry about slipping and sliding all over the place. If you’re worried about falling, it can make it hard to get turned on.
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Don’t force a position
It’s easy to slip and fall in the shower. If you’re trying to make a position work that feels unstable, like reverse cowgirl, skip it. Trust me, the pleasure is not worth the pain in this case.
Use lube
Water on your skin actually causes friction. I’m not one for making catch-all statements, but you need lube for shower sex if it’s going to involve penetration, anal play, or oral. Silicone-based lube can be found at your local sex shop, Target, or drug store and will last longer than water-based lube, or use a natural lubricant if that’s more your speed.
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Incorporate toys
Shower sex will be different from sex in your bed because there are inherently different elements. Penetration, for example, can be quite challenging in the shower. Instead, think outside the box and try things like waterproof sex toys. This can be an exciting and much easier way to enjoy sex or act as a precursor for the bedroom.
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Shower sex positions
The best positions for shower sex are going to depend largely on what kind of shower you have and your or your partner’s mobility, but no matter your setup, if you’re wondering how to spice up your sex life in the shower, here are seven sex positions to get you started.
On your back
This position is especially fun for solo sex. If you have a bath, lay down on your back so the shower head is aimed at your body, not your face. Grab a waterproof sex toy and lube, and enjoy.
Standing ‘doggy’ style
While standing, bend over with your partner behind you. From there, your partner can reach around your waist and perform hand sex or penetration, use a vibrator or masturbator on you, or have easy access for anal rimming or penetration. Pro tip: Make sure you use lube for this one!
Face to face
While this may sound boring, standing face to face with your partner and enjoying an intense make-out can be an exciting way to begin a sexual experience, whether you choose to continue it in the shower or move to another room, says Dress. In this position, you can enjoy drizzling water in your mouth and making out with your partner.
Seated
This is pretty straightforward, but a partner stands while the other person sits on the side of the tub. From there, you can give the standing partner oral sex. It may help if the standing partner puts one foot up on the edge of the tub for easier access (watch your balance!). When you’re having oral sex in the shower, be sure you turn the shower head away from the giver, as the water can make it very hard to breathe.
The detachable shower head
Yep, the shower head can be a sex toy, too. If you have a detachable shower head, take hold of it and stimulate yourself or your partner between your legs or cheeks. You can both sit or stand. The skin on your genitals is far more sensitive than the rest of your skin, so be sure to turn the heat down first!
Front to back
Both you and your partner can stand with your knees slightly bent, as you face the same direction so your partner is facing your back. From here, your partner can lavish your entire body with shower gel, says Dress. While this might not sound like the shower sex you were thinking of, it can be a steamy way to start sex or enjoy intimacy. (This is my favorite part of shower sex!).
The Cradle
If the shower has space, a partner sits down with their back against the shower walls or tub and the other partner sits between their legs with their back resting on the other’s chest. From there, your partner can reach around your body and stimulate your nipples, clit, or penis. This is also a great position to use toys with suction cups, or have solo sex.